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The jealousy festers inside me like an infected wound. I’m desperate to bond with Emiliana, to know more about the child. But Caterina won’t give me the chance. She’s shutting me out to protect Emiliana, just as she’s shut me out to protect herself.
Or is that what I’d like to believe? Perhaps it’s something more.
I start to wonder if Emiliana’s father is still in the picture after all. Could that be the real reason Caterina is avoiding an introduction? Does she hope to reconcile with this man, whoever he is, and doesn’t want to complicate things by bringing me into Emiliana’s life?
The thought makes me sick with jealousy. I have no right to Caterina or her affections, not after walking away from her the way I did. But the thought of trying to bond with Caterina while she still longs for another…it’s more than I can bear.
I struggle to tamp down these jealous suspicions, to give Caterina the benefit of the doubt. She has given me no reason to distrust her. But the gnawing doubts persist, and the only way to silence them is to confront Caterina directly.
I need to ask for the truth about Emiliana’s father, and Caterina’s feelings—not just for him, but for me. The risk is that I may not like the answers I receive. But if Caterina and I are to build a future together, we must clear the air of secrets and suspicions. We owe each other that much, at least.
***
I arrange a private dinner for Caterina and me in my study. Ivan, Sergei, and the staff know to give us space and privacy. I have the house staff prepare Caterina’s favorite dishes from childhood, a gesture I hope she will appreciate. Vanya heard about this little dinner and insisted on sending an elaborate cheese platter, chocolate fondue and wine to go with. I didn’t expect any less from my sister, the ever-nosy one.
When Caterina enters the study, she gasps at the candlelit table set for two, laden with food. “Mikhail, what is all this?”
I stand aside and gesture for her to take a seat. I had been watching her from the door, and what I see makes my breath catch in my chest. Caterina looks gorgeous, her eyes glinting in the candlelight, her skin glowing like a pearl. She’s wearing a deep brown figure-hugging dress that compliments her green eyes, while the candlelight accentuates her full lips and long black hair. I can’t help but admire how beautiful she is—it’s like staring at a piece of art created just for me.
For a brief second, I forget why I asked us here tonight as color floods her cheeks. I could just enjoy this moment with Caterina forever and be happy, but instead, here we are having this difficult conversation. Taking a deep breath to clear my head, I focus instead on getting to the truth of things so that we can finally move forward together.
I smile, pulling out her chair. “A chance for us to talk. Really talk, with no distractions or excuses.”
Her cheeks color as she takes her seat. She avoids my gaze, fidgeting with her napkin. “What did you want to discuss?”
“Us,” I say gently. “Our future. And Emiliana.” I reach across the table to take her hand. “Caterina, I need to know…is Emiliana’s father still in the picture?”
She stiffens, eyes flashing with anger and hurt. “How can you ask me that? After everything…” Her voice cracks.
I know she’s right. She owes me no explanation, when I haven’t been able to provide her with a reasonable one. I sigh and drop my gaze. “I just wonder, Caterina. Since you never allow me near her. I’m starting to think you plan to return to him and don’t want me in the picture so Emiliana doesn’t get confused.”
“He left as soon as he learned I was pregnant. I haven’t seen him since.”
Relief washes over me, followed by shame at having doubted her. “I’m sorry,” I murmur. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I just had to be sure, for my own peace of mind.” I give her hand a squeeze. “He’s a fool for walking away from you both. But his loss is my gain.”
She simply shrugs, looks away.
“Why do you keep Emiliana from me?” I inquire.
“I told you already.”
“That’s all?”
“That’s all.”
“Thank God. Then we have all the time in the world to get to where we must.”
Caterina searches my face. “What are you saying, Mikhail?”
“That I want us to be a family,” I say earnestly. “You, me, and Emiliana. No more running from the past. No more doubtsor secrets between us.” I lean closer. “I love you, Caterina. I always have, and I always will, even though my past actions might say otherwise. And I would be honored if you and Emiliana would make a home with me.”
Her eyes shine with tears as a radiant smile lights her face. “Oh, Mikhail,” she mutters. “I never thought you’d be so accepting of Emiliana.”
“The child is not at fault and neither are you. I made mistakes. Her father made mistakes. The two of you, innocents.”
She comes into my arms as I stand, and I lift her from the chair to spin her around. Our lips meet in a searing kiss.
The moment is electric, but there’s something deeper, more profound at play. The way Caterina holds on to me, the way her kiss feels like a balm on my soul—it’s as if we’ve been given a second chance.
