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I wonder if he actually does.
All I know is that everything feels wrong, even beyond just Carl and me.
Carl frowns at my ring. “Speaking of breaking it off… Why do you still have his engagement ring on?”
“It’s stuck.” Never mind that it has nothing to do with an actual marriage proposal.
Carl pulls on it, but the thing doesn’t budge, proving my point. “What the hell? It doesn’t look like it should be stuck.”
“I don’t understand it either.” I study my finger, wondering if I should tell Carl everything. I don’t want to hide something like this from him, but we just had our disastrous sexual encounter, so it isn’t the right time to confess what really happened between me and Eros.
“I’ll try some grease later,” I say, tucking my hand behind my back. “So… what now?”
“What do you mean?”
“Are we dating? Is this… Are we together?” I stutter out, my cheeks flushing bright pink.
“I suppose so.” Carl studies my face and then looks at the ring. “Are you sure that’s what you want?”
I was in my head the whole time I was hooking up with Carl, but it feels like I need to give it another chance.
“I’ve always wanted you.”
When I wake in the morning in my own bed, for half a second I expect to see Eros next to me, but he’s giving me the space I asked for.
My mind wanders, wondering what the love god is doing now. Is he watching over me? Is he helping others find love? Is he looking for another matchmaker to replace me?
After an awkward breakfast, Carl gives me a quick peck on the cheek and hurries off to work. That’s the only thing that feels different this morning—a platonic kiss.
I meet with a couple potential clients and secure gigs for the coming weeks. However, I’m distracted with thoughts of what Carl and I did and didn’t do, and what it means for our future.
Should I confess that I have been thrown into the middle of a god contract with other gods harassing me? I feel guilty for keeping it from him. I should tell himbeforewe have sex.
However, I will sound like a crazy person, so I try to justify not telling him. Maybe he shouldn’t know.
I text Carl, asking if we can go out to eat tonight. We haven’t ever done that, even as friends. Eros pointed out how weird that was, and he’s right. I always just excused Carl’s behavior as him not wanting to lead me on. However, now that we are together, I want him to announce his love for me to the world, not just some comment about how he always wanted to have sex with me while trying to bed me.
Now that I think of it, he hasn’t told me he loves me. Maybe he’s as nervous about rejection as I am.
In response to my request to go out to eat, Carl texts back.
Carl: No. I’ll see you tonight at home. I enjoy our quiet time.
A warning bell dings in my mind. Will he be the type toeverwant to go out? Do I want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with me in public? I enjoy going out sometimes. The dinners with Eros were fun and exciting. Somehow, Eros makes everything, even taking a nap, exciting—which isn’t the point of naps, but still.
I’m miffed that he brushed me off again, so I cook dinner and wait for Carl to come home, hoping we can clear the air about this hang-up of his.
Without even a text to give me a heads-up, Carl returns half an hour later than his normal time, but I shrug it off. Maybe he didn’t tell Mercy that they’re over yet and did it tonight. That must be it, because I don’t want to believe he would string us along.
Carl gives me a quick hello and then hurries into his bedroom to change his clothes. When he returns to the kitchen, he smiles. “How was your day?”
“Pretty good. I landed a couple of gigs.” I stand awkwardly at the stove, suddenly worried he’s going to tell me last night was a mistake.
He doesn’t come over and give me a kiss or hug. Am I expecting too much? Has Eros spoiled me with his affection?
“What’s up?” I ask when he looks hesitant to enter the room.
“Nothing.” He shakes his head and then closes the distance between us in a couple of strides. “Just trying to get used to what happened.”
