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“Reece will probably kill him before you even can,” she mumbles.
I grimace. “You’re probably right.”
“What were you guys doing in that room …” She trails off as our car pulls up to the curb. “Thank God,” Jessa breathes out in relief.
“Be cool,” I warn as we hike toward the car with our arms looped.
When we climb into the back seat, Ellis studies us, and I wonder if he can tell we’re drunk and stoned. Can he smell the party on us? Does he know?
“Was the movie good?” he asks in a casual tone.
“It was okay,” I tell him, hoping I’m not slurring my words.
He looks at us for a beat longer before rotating around in the seat. Then he drives out onto the street.
The ride home takes about twenty minutes as we take the freeway to the heart of the city. We drop Jessa off first, and by this time, she’s passed out.
I give her a soft shake to wake her up. “Hey, Jess, we’re here.”
“Where am I?” she asks, rubbing her eyes with the heels of her hands.
“You’re home.” I help her sit up.
Ellis is pretending he’s not paying attention, but I can tell he’s observing us in the rearview mirror.
“Oh. Yeah. Right.” Jessa blinks a few times then reaches for the door. Then she pauses and turns to me. “Are you sure you’ll be okay … with everything?”
I nod as I sink back in the seat. “Yeah. I always am.”
She sighs heavily. “I know this is horrible for you, but you won’t be able to ignore it forever. Eventually, you’ll have to deal with this whole fate ceremony thing.” When I frown, she sighs again. “I’m always here for you, no matter what. Remember that, okay? You and I are going to be best friends until we die. Maybe even after that.” She smiles.
I return it, but I know the truth. If I ever want to escape this life and start over, it means leaving everything behind, including her.
SEVEN
ALLURA
By the time I arrive home, my choices for tonight have crashed over me. Ellis has caught on that something is up, and I’m guessing he’ll tattle on me. If he does, then that deal I made with Reece will be for nothing.
I attempt not to focus on that and instead concentrate on walking. Even that is proving to be a huge pain in the ass as I wobble in my heels.
As I pass by the entrance, Larry, the doorman, looks at me in concern. “You okay, kid?” he asks.
I give him a thumbs-up, and he frowns. I dismiss him and stagger toward the shiny elevator doors. I end up pushing five floor buttons before I get the correct one, so the elevator ride to the top floor takes longer than usual. By the time the elevator stops on my floor, I feel sedated and on the verge of falling asleep. In order for me to get out, I have to scan my thumb on the scanner. I force myself to wake up enough to do that, but I still have to try ten times before getting my thumb lined up properly. When it finally works, I feel like I should praise myself.
“Hell yeah, I’m awesome,” I exclaim as the elevator doors open and I stumble out.
My voice echoes across the high-beamed ceiling of the hallway, and I wince, but not from how loud I’m being. No, I do it because I am truly and utterly fucked.
Because standing in the doorway that leads to one of the three living rooms is Ryder.
Dammit. Maybe I was stupid for going to a party tonight. Perhaps I should’ve been a good girl and stayed home. And yet, I can’t find the will to give a shit. Maybe I’ve finally died inside.
I can’t avoid him since his attention darts to me when I stumble out of the elevator. He stares at me for a slamming heartbeat, and I think a trace of fear flashes across his face. It happens so quickly I’m sure I saw it incorrectly. Then, with an unreadable expression, he rushes toward me. And as his lips part, I brace myself for a verbal throw down.
“Are you okay?” he asks.
“Go screw …” I trail off as his words register.
