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My chest rises and crashes as I work to breathe evenly. “You don’t want to?”
“No, but …”
“But what?” I question, holding his hand to my breast. I search his eyes, the hesitancy in them, and a cold bucket of humiliation douses over me. “Oh my God, you don’t want to. That whole us belonging to each other was just as friends.” I move my hand off his and try to step back, but I’m pressed up against the mirror, so it’s a failed effort.
“Hey, it’s not that,” he stresses while leveling his gaze with mine. “I just don’t know if we should be doing this when we still have secrets between us.”
I smash my lips together. He does have a point. Still … “Please … can we just … keep going for a few more minutes?” I swallow audibly. “This might be my only chance to make my own choices ever again.”
His expression softens. “It’s not going to be like that.” When I refuse to meet his gaze, he hooks a finger under my chin and forces my gaze to meet his. “It’s not,” he stresses. “But if you want this, then I’ll give it to you.” He lowers his voice. “I’ll give you anything you want. Always.”
My heart turns into a dumbass and flutters in my chest, but I tell it to shut the hell up, that this isn’t what this is about. No, no feelings should be here.
That’s what I try to convince myself, but as I take his hand and return it to my breast, our gazes never wavering, all I do isfeel.
A moan fumbles from his lips, and then his mouth crashes against mine. His lip ring grazes my lip as he softly bites down on it while cupping my breast. Through the thin fabric of this little-to-nothing getup, every brush of his fingers sends caresses across my flesh, my nipple. It feels so damn amazing that I want to feel more. So, wrapping my fingers around his other wrist, I guide his hand downward across my bare stomach to the top of my panties.
“Allura,” he whispers hoarsely between kisses.
The way he says my full name is different this time, making my stomach somersault. We’re no longer kissing now, but panting heavily, our mouths inches away.
“I …” His fingers dip beneath the top of my panties, but then he pauses. “You want me to keep going?”
I give an unsteady nod. Then, to prove it even more, I push his hand down farther.
He lets out this noise that sounds like a mixture of pleasure and pain, and then his hand slides down even more until he brushes my center.
“Blaise.” My head tips back and bangs against the mirror.
He trails his fingers through my folds. “I don’t know what I’m doing, so tell me if it feels good.”
His words barely register before his mouth collides with mine. At the same time, he slips a finger inside me. I whimper, clutching onto his arms as his finger begins to move over and over again, and he kisses me through it.
Eventually, I break the kiss because I can barely breathe or think. My vision spots over, and Blaise watches me, his eyes blazing with heat as I fucking fly away to the stars where nothing exists except the wonderful blissfulness cascading through my body.
I wish I could stay there forever. Never returning. But the moment ends too soon, and I crash back to reality.
Blaise watches me as if he’s on a cliff's edge and about to dive over. His finger is also still inside me, and his other hand is brushing across my nipple, which is exposed thanks to this thin, nearly nothing of a top slipping down.
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispers as his fingers leave my nipple, and then he places his hand right below my breast. “God, I’ve waited so long to touch you like this.”
His words smack across the face.
He’s waited for so long? Then why did he act like he despised me?
I push him back gently, trying to stand up, but my legs feel wobbly, and I damn near fall down.
He circles an arm around my waist. “Are you okay?”
I don’t have an answer to that, so I remain quiet as I attempt to stand up straight, and I end up pressed against him to the point that I can feel all of him.
And what I feel is that he’s rock-hard.
I rake my teeth against my bottom lip as I consider sticking my hand down his pants and giving him a hand job. I’ve never done that before, but …
“I don’t know what I’m doing, so tell me if it feels good,”he said right before he started finger-fucking me.
Has he just never done that, or has he never done anything? I could find out. This moment is about my exploration, but it could be about him, too. I begin to lower my hand into his jeans.
