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“I thought I might die too,” I admit. “Maybe I even wanted to at one point.”
She makes a noise between a laugh and a gasp. “Can’t imagine it was fun for you.” I take a sip of my wine in answer, smiling when Bells strokes his body against my ankle. Candace tips her head forward. “That’s surprising.”
“What?”
“He likes you. He doesn’t like anyone.”
“I’m a cat person.”
“Apparently.” She takes another sip and turns more to face me. “When you were sick, Cash was out of his mind, you know?”
“Yeah, I do.”
“Like, really out of his mind.” I’m uncomfortable under the scrutiny of her stare, but I do my best not to crack under the pressure of it. “I’ve never seen him that way over—anything.”
“He blames himself,” I whisper into my wine. “Though I don’t know how. It couldn’t have been more random.”
She doesn’t say anything for a long moment, just watches me. Then she pulls in breath and says, “I really like you. I don’t make friends easily and I’ve, like, never had a girl friend. So, the fact we get on like we do is great for me.”
When she pauses, I say, “I’m sensing a but.”
“Cash is really serious about you. I mean—reallyserious.” She pins me with her eyes, searching for answers to all my secrets. “I guess I’m asking if you’re serious about him.”
I know I shouldn’t, but I want to tell her the truth. She’s right. She is my friend.
But she was Cash’s first.
And he’s been so good to me, telling her that this thing between us isn’t real feels like a betrayal of his trust and I don’t think I can do that.
I’m torn.
“At first, I was trying to guard my heart,” I say around the truth. “I didn’t want to fall for him—not really fall for him—because he didn’t seem like the kind of man who would fall back, you know?”
She nods but says nothing.
I go on. “Now—I don’t know what’s happening between us now.”
“What do you mean?”
I want to be as honest with her as I can be without revealing the truth of our deal. I consider my words for a long moment. “Cash is patient with me. He doesn’t—um—push for what I’m not ready to give.”
“You’re telling me you’re not sleeping with him.”
I blink wide eyes at her. “How do you know that?”
“Babe, I got you dressed when you were sick, remember?” When I nod, she says, “That’s when I suspected your relationship with him wasn’t as advanced as you both made it out to be.”
My face is on fire. I clear my throat. “He’s been respectful.”
“I have a feeling there’s a whole lot more going on between you two than you’re telling me, but I also see you have real feelings for him, so I’ll let it be what it is. You know I’m here and I’ll listen if you need an ear.”
Surprising myself, I blurt, “I’m a virgin.” Then I cover my mouth with my hands, shock washing over me like a cool wave.
I can’t believe I just said that.
Did I just say that?
Candace slow blinks. Then she leans in and asks, “Does Cash know?”
