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“Is it really not seasoned well enough? I thought I used enough—”
“I’m kidding,” I said, smiling at her. “It’s perfect. I’m impressed.”
Her shoulders relaxed a bit as she returned my smile. “Well…thanks,” she murmured, turning back to her own plate.
“So I have to ask,” I asked a few minutes later. “How long have you been a phone sex operator?”
She shrugged and stuffed a forkful of lasagna in her mouth. “Not long,” she said, a bit of food flying from her mouth.
“So ladylike,” I teased with a shake of my head.
“Like you have room to talk, Mr. Commando,” she tossed back.
I laughed. “Touchè, Ms. Silk Robe,” I said.
“So…are you single?” she asked. I nodded, fighting the urge to cringe when Kayla crossed my mind. She was the last person I wanted to talk about. Ashton scoffed. “I’m not surprised.”
I met her playful eyes with a frown. “What the hell is that supposed to mean? You calling me ugly?”
“No, I’m—”
“So then you think I’m sexy?” I asked, wiggling my eyebrows. She rolled her eyes.
“There you go with that again,” she muttered and shook her head. “I was only going to say that I’d love to meet the woman that would be able to deal with an asshole as cocky as you.”
I clenched my teeth and nodded, but didn’t say anything. I could feel her eyes on me, but I couldn’t bring myself to look at her. Such a simple joke was enough to bring all my insecurities flooding to the surface. It wasn’t specifically what she said that set me off. The way I acted with Ashton wasn’t how I was with Kayla. Just the thought that I wasn’t enough for Kayla and that Ashton couldn’t even see me being in a relationship made me feel as if something was wrong with me. Ashton cleared her throat and shifted uncomfortably in her spot.
“Sorry, it was a joke,” she said.
“It’s fine,” I answered, my voice tight. The rest of the meal was cloaked in silence. I glanced over at her, noticing that she was pushing her food around her plate, but not really eating it. I touched her knee gently. “Seriously, Ashton. It’s not anything that you said. It’s cool.”
She gave me a small smile and nodded. “Bad day or something?” she asked.
I sighed and put my empty plate on the table. “More like a not-so-great breakup,” I mentioned. She cocked her head as she looked at me thoughtfully.
“Does this have anything to do with your whole starting over thing you mentioned the other night?” she asked as she put her plate on the table and grabbed her wine glass.
“Yeah, mostly,” I admitted softly.
“Do you…want to talk about it?” she murmured. I met her soft gaze and sighed inwardly.
“Nothing to talk about really.”
“Well, what was she like?” she asked, taking a sip of her wine before putting the glass back down on the coffee table. My heart skipped a beat as memories of Kayla flooded my mind. From that beautiful smile of hers that made me fall in love or the way she would come up behind me and wrap her arms around me while I cooked for her, it made me realize how much I’d missed her despite everything.
“She was perfect,” I admitted quietly. Ashton’s gaze softened as she pulled her knees to her chest. My eyes briefly fell down, noticing the bare skin on the back of her thighs. Is she even wearing anything under that? “But um…yeah, sometimes things just don’t work out no matter how bad you want it to.”
Ashton nodded. “Trust me, I know,” she mumbled. “I mean is there a way you can fix things with her? You seem like you still really care about her.”
I shook my head. “She wants to work things out, but I don’t think I want to be in that situation anymore.”
Ashton’s forehead crinkled as her face twisted in confusion. “I don’t get it. You just said she was perfect and seemed sad at the mention of her…and you don’t want to be with her?”
“Ashton, I’m not getting any younger. I’m not going to spend the rest of my life casually dating someone. One day I want a wife, to have kids and all that. Even if I were to get back with her, I wouldn’t be dumb enough to propose to her again,” I stated bitterly.
“Again?” she repeated, realization dawning on her. “Ah. I’m assuming you proposed to her and she said no.”
“You’ve solved the case, Detective Ashton,” I joked, trying to hide the negative emotions trying to bubble up within me. She didn’t crack a smile. Instead, sadness reflected in her eyes.
