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“I’m sure he did. He once told my nine-year-old cousin that just because he was interested in Hot Wheels. Told my cousin that he was a car enthusiast in the making,” she said with a giggle.
“Nothing wrong with that, especially being surrounded by so much estrogen,” I teased. She playfully rolled her eyes.
“Whatever,” she said, taking me by the hand. “Come on, I want to show you the loft.”
I followed behind her to the wooden staircase near the back of the barn, climbing up the stairs.
“Wow,” I stated when we reached the top. A black futon and black chairs sat on top of a white rug. Bookshelves lined the back wall with teen books, magazines, and POP Art figures. A small TV sat on top of a brown table, posters of male pop stars covering the wooden walls. “So I’m guessing this is the teenage lair.”
“Just where we liked to hang out away from my parents, more specifically my mom. Seeing her trying to be hip was painful to watch.”
I chuckled and shook my head. I imagined a younger Ashton relaxing with her friends, talking and giggling over boys, music, and fashion. My eyes scanned the bookshelf, stopping at a group picture. Ashton sat in the middle of three other girls, one who looked unfamiliar.
“You’re a natural blonde?” I asked, picking up the picture.
“Obviously.”
“Why obviously? It’s not like you have…carpet to compare to the drapes,” I teased, my eyes moving to her crotch. She blushed.
“Oh hush.”
“Who’s this?” I asked, pointing to the unfamiliar girl on the right of Ashton. She looked at the picture, disdain crossing over her beautiful features.
“The girl who would later go on to steal my boyfriend,” she answered, her voice tight.
I tilted my head and studied the picture. “Yeah, I figured she was the odd girl out.”
Ashton looked at me, her brows furrowing as she cocked her head to the side and then looked at the picture.
“Really? How so?”
“You see how happy you, Ava, and Alex look?” I pointed to their faces.
“Yeah, and?”
“She’s the only one who looks as if she doesn’t want to be there. She’s not even smiling. It’s more of a small grin.”
She continued staring at the picture, eventually letting out a sigh. “I wish I would’ve noticed the signs before,” she murmured. I put the picture back in its place and took her hand into mine.
“Don't blame yourself for the actions of other assholes. Shit just happens.”
She nodded and pulled away, walking over to the futon. After fiddling with it for a few moments, she pushed it back to where it was now a bed and waved me over. I walked over and lay next to her. “There used to be a tree behind the barn, but it knocked a hole in the roof one year during a hurricane. Dad just put a glass in it and said that it was God’s sign that maybe we needed a skylight.” She was quiet for a moment. “We used to lay here and look up at the stars, dreaming of what our future would be like and what would happen to us after high school.”
I looked over at her. “How did you see your future?” I murmured.
She sighed softly. “I thought I’d be happy with the love of my life. I imagined us growing old together, having a bunch of kids, and being happily married. He'd be a successful businessman, and I’d be an in-demand interior designer or something. We would’ve had this amazing penthouse apartment in New York or something and just live happily ever after.” She sighed again. “But sometimes things don’t always work out the way you want them to.”
“Yeah,” I agreed. “My mom used to tell me that sometimes things fall apart so that better things can come together.”
She turned her head to look at me, her gaze feeling as if she was looking into my soul. “Do you believe that?”
“I want to,” I admitted softly. “But now I don’t know anymore.”
She turned her gaze back to the stars appearing in the sky. “I like to believe there’s someone out there that will prove that belief to be true. Everyone has a soul mate.”
“Yeah,” I said. A burning urge to tell her how I felt about her ignited in me. Maybe it was the intimacy of our conversation or seeing how angelic she looked laying next to me. I could almost see a younger version of herself staring up at the stars, dreaming a dream that would shatter before her eyes and leave her heartbroken. Despite her failed relationship, she still held on to the hope that love was out there for her. It was hard to continue being pessimistic about love when a woman still believed in it despite her devastating break up.
“Even though it was devastating at first, I’m kind of glad things happened as they did,” she said.
