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"What? Go back with them? I don't want to go back with them," he stated firmly.
"You have a baby on the way, O'Shea. You should be there for that."
"Ashton...do you not want me here anymore because of what happened?" he asked, his voice eerily soft. I swallowed the lump forming in my throat as tears threatened to form in my eyes. After weeks of him knocking down my walls, my defense mechanisms were quickly activating and taking over. My heart didn't want him to leave, but my mind wouldn't allow him to have the opportunity to devastate me. So I did the only thing I thought was left.
I took a deep breath and looked him in the eyes, my heart slightly breaking. "No," I said slowly.
He looked at me with a raised brow, a frown settling on his lips. "No...what?"
"I don't want you here," I said, barely above a whisper. His jaw tightened as he looked at me, hurt evident in his eyes. He looked away and nodded slightly.
"I see," he said tightly. He looked back up at me, searching my face as if he was waiting for me to change my mind. When I didn't say anything, he just sighed and walked away, entering his room and closing the door.
I closed my door, unable to stop the sob that shook through me. If this was for the best, why did I suddenly feel empty? Why did the thought of him leaving terrify me?
I moved over to my bed, stretching out and clutching a pillow to my chest. It was only a couple of days ago that we'd just been here together. I wished we could go back to the times were the only complicated thing was whether or not to tell him how I felt. I looked at the clock with wet eyes, watching as the numbers slowly changed until I drifted off to sleep.
∞∞∞
I jumped out of my sleep when a crack of thunder sounded. Rain pelted on my bedroom window, lightning brightening the sky before another crack of thunder followed. I slowly got out of bed and felt my way through the dark, feeling along the wall until I found the light switch. O'Shea. I needed to talk to him. I'd admit that maybe I was a bit too emotional earlier and probably should've given him the chance to talk.
Walking out of my room, I went to his door and knocked. "O'Shea?" I called out. There was no answer. Considering that nothing was on in the living room, his room was the only place he'd be. I knocked again. "O'Shea? Are you awake?" Still nothing. I pushed the door open and whispered his name again. After being met with silence once more, I turned on the light, dread filling me as I looked around the room. Everything looked as it did the night I'd set it up for him, empty and void of someone living in it.
My heart raced in my chest as I rushed over to the dresser and opened the drawers, only to find them empty. I yanked open the closet door and saw nothing but hangers. I looked around the room that no longer contained his things, slowly lowering myself on the bed as it clearly dawned on me.
He was gone.
And I had no one to blame but myself.
