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He shrugged, then pointed excitedly. "Oh, rabbit berries!" I followed him over to a bush of the sweet-tart, nutrient rich fruits and held out the cooking pot for him to fill. He happily picked the oversized berries as he answered me. "Bach is a good man. But he has a very strong moral compass. He thinks he has to behave perfectly at all times, as befitting his station in life and his responsibilities to his family." He sighed. "It's not necessarily a bad thing. He's just a bit too hard on himself sometimes. And on the rest of us, when he's really serious about something."
I processed that, finding that it fit perfectly with what I already knew of the big highborn male. "He's passionate about what he believes in," I said finally. "But sometimes that can be…inconvenient."
Mirri grinned up at me from where he crouched next to the path. "I have a feeling you know from personal experience."
I shook my head at that. "You have no idea." I couldn't tell him that sometimes I suffered from the same ailment as Bach, back in my normal life as the steward of Larkwood.
The suffocating pull of the magic around me was getting difficult to ignore, and I suddenly ached with the urge to move, to run. Or dance, or shout at the heavens above.
Mirri must have felt it too. He stood, then reached out and drew a finger along my cheek, the touch sending a warm thrill of his sunshine and fire magic through me. "I think I have some idea," he said in response to my earlier statement. "I've seen how hard you work to ensure that the queen makes the best possible match for her Prize through this tournament." He paused, as if gathering his courage before soldiering on. "But maybe you find yourself a bit more invested in the participants than you anticipated? Maybe you're so selfless that you’ve been denying yourself what you truly want?"
Chapter 33
Maybe you're so selfless that you’ve been denying yourself what you truly want? Mirri's words echoed in my lust-fogged brain. What I wanted at that moment was to close the distance between us and taste the fire on his tongue. I closed my eyes at the shiver of need that flashed through me.
Damned moon. Damned ancient forest. Damned tournament. And damned pretty men and my own inability to remain impartial.
Mirri's touch continued, one finger lightly drawing down my neck to my collarbones and swirling there, trailing the warmth and comfort of his magic. It differed from Fife's magic—less intense, less sharp and dangerous, but somehow just as tempting.
I opened my eyes and met his molten gold gaze. "Do you always call out other people's faults that way?" I managed, my tongue feeling clumsy as I uttered the words.
Mirri's smile widened. "Mmm, I may have been accused of being a bit too perceptive a time or two."
I didn't bother trying to lie–at least not about that. "Well, it is rather impossible to stay impartial when there's one group of males who keeps catching my attention again and again. They're all beautiful and kind, brave and strong, and their heads and their hearts are in the right place. Raven team would make perfect mates for someone in a position of power."
Mirri frowned. "Would we? I'm glad you have such a high opinion of my team. But I worry about what will happen if we win. I used to think we had no chance. And even now, I'm not sure. But…what if? We would all be bonded to a stranger for life. And none of us are so callous as to ignore that obligation once we are bound."
I watched his kind face play through a mixture of emotions, and I was struck again with the urge to blurt out all my secrets. If only I could. Mirri looked so torn. I suspected that he felt that this whole situation was his fault, since they had joined the tournament to escape his family. But also…I realized maybe he was just plain scared.
They knew nothing of the person they would end up bound to if they won. They knew nothing of what that relationship would be like or how it would affect the deep bonds they already had with each other.
I could hear what Mirri wasn't saying. "You're afraid this might be the last true taste of wild freedom your team has before your fates are tied to another," I whispered.
He met my eyes, hesitated, then nodded. "I am."
It was a logical feeling. I had felt the same way before the tournament started. That was how I ended up at that inn with Bach, after all. I had wanted to love freely one last time, before I was forever bonded to a bunch of strangers.
"Raven team is going to win," I murmured. It surprised me that the queen's devious little spell allowed me to say that. But there it was. "I've done everything I can to ensure it. And you've all done the rest." I set the pot of berries aside. It was my turn to touch his cheek, to try to ignore the tingling in my fingers from the contact as I tried to ease his fears. "I promise you, it won't be as bad as you're imagining. If you'll allow it, it could be…an amazing future for all of you. You don't have to spend the evening with me out of desperation. Your freedom will not end when you win this tournament."
His eyes locked on mine, searching, maybe looking for some sign that what I said was the truth, and not just empty words uttered to placate him. "You can't know that for sure," he whispered.
I shook my head. "You're right. I can't. But I'm as certain as I can be. And I'll tell you what I told Fife," I said, the rising tension and magic inside me growing by the second, urging me to indulge. "I can tell you without a doubt that there will be no punishment for sharing the night with me. There will be no mark against you. My employer would not judge us. Nor would the Prize. In fact," I said with a wry smirk, "she would tell us to enjoy ourselves and everything will work out fine."
He chuckled and reached up to place his hand over mine, pressing my palm to his cheek. "I'm trying not to be as bad as the others," he admitted with a wry look. "But I'm dying to kiss you right now."
I huffed a laugh of my own. "Then you should probably do it. Better that than running naked through the forest hunting deer with your bare hands or something like that, if I do say so myself."
He shook his head, releasing my hand so he could step closer, his warm hands smoothing over the swell of my hips with adoration. "I love your curves," he murmured. "You look so lush compared to all those slender highborn ladies wandering around during our competitions. I could get lost in your softness for days."
Warmth coiled through me. Mirri himself was softer than the rest of the males in the tournament—strong, but with a layer of padding, without all that bulging muscle. I got the feeling from our previous talk about his gender, that Mirri was self-conscious of his body, but honestly, he had no reason to feel that way. He was gorgeous. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed against his solid frame, enjoying the way he felt in my arms. "I could say the same," I purred. "You don't look quite like the other competitors. But you're absolutely perfect, Mirri."
Soft lips caressed mine, slow and gentle, inviting, rather than demanding. I sank into the sparking warmth that surrounded me, losing myself in Mirri's aura of sunshine and heat. His affinity was fire. But it wasn't a roaring inferno. It was the blessed warmth of a hearth fire on a cold winter's day. My fingers curled into the waves of soft hair at his nape. When he bent to trail kisses along my throat to the upper swell of my chest, I slid my hands through his hair and wrapped them around his mismatched antlers, holding him close, urging him on.
He moved back to my mouth, robbing me of my grip on his horns, but I wasn't about to complain. One of Mirri's warm hands trailed upward to cup my breast and tease the nipple, and I moaned into the kiss.
But a moment later, I pulled away, gasping. I glanced down between us in the dim light, but I couldn't really see much in the shadows there. "What was that?" I asked, breathless and utterly lacking any tact.
I might be moon-addled and magic drunk, but I was pretty sure I wasn't hallucinating. Something had just vibrated against my stomach.
