AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I ran a hand through my hair. "I get that. I do. But I did what I had to do during the tournament. I couldn't tell anyone the truth. All I could do was do my best to keep Raven team in the running until I could reveal my identity. I didn't have any other choice!"
He just gave me that sad look again. "I believe you think you didn't have a choice. But that doesn't make the whole situation any less painful. In the end, we were misled. You let us all fall in love with you, then rejected us when we would have given up everything for you. Then you flipped our entire world upside down by announcing you were the Prize, and we were to be yours. We keep losing our footing, don't you see? It's hard to know where we stand with you now, if this is your last secret, or if we will once again find ourselves the butt of some grand joke or caught up in some game we don't know the rules of. And for some of us…well, trust doesn't come easily. And once lost, is nearly impossible to regain."
I opened my mouth to tell him about the queen's spell, but he stopped me, putting a hand on mine, where it rested on the table. "Don't," he said softly. "Don't argue. Don't justify. Just give us time. You owe us all that much, at least."
I clenched my teeth. Fine. It seemed even the reasonable member of the group didn't want to give me the chance to explain myself.
He must have seen the anger in my expression, because Mirri pulled away, taking his warmth with him. "I might seem like a soft touch. But even I'm not immune to feeling used," he murmured. "The only difference is that I know lashing out in anger or sulking in silence won't help anything. So, even if I'm still mad, I'll talk to you again tomorrow. And the next day. And the day after that. Until we work things out. Good night…Katrina."
I watched him walk away, not sure if I felt better or worse.
As I finished my drink and made my way to my room, I felt a bitter resolve hardening inside me, anger replacing my sadness, armoring me against the hurt. Not once had the men of Raven team asked me to explain my actions. They weren't interested in hearing my side of things. And I wasn't going to beg them to listen. They could come to me when they were ready to see my side of things. Until then, screw them.
"Screw them!" I muttered aloud, slamming the door to my room, then leaning back against the portal as I struggled to get my boots off. "Males are ass-faces," I said with a slight slur as the full force of all the alcohol I'd consumed finally hit me.
Balefire padded over to me in his creepy, needle-toothed black cat form and rubbed against my shins, prompting me to pick him up. "We don't need them," I said as I buried my face in his silky fur. I flopped onto my bed with the pooka in my arms, lulled to sleep by the comforting prickle of his long claws kneading my shoulder.
Chapter 2
The next day dawned foggy and gray. Which was just fine because it suited my mood and kept me from getting sunburned while we rode. If everything went as planned, we would ride all day and reach the base of the mountains this evening. The tiny village there would afford us one last opportunity to sleep in a proper inn. Then it would be camping and small way stations until we reached the other side of the mountains.
I didn't speak to my mates at all, resentment still simmering in my gut. Jasper rode beside me for a time, and I told him all about the mountains that surrounded my home territory and the adventures I'd had there as a child. But the fog and the glaring of his employer seemed to have permanently dampened the gregarious redhead's mood. So, I spent most of the day riding in silence.
I tried to mentally prepare for what would need to be done once I reached home, cataloging all the duties that had been neglected in my absence and deciding which tasks would need my immediate attention upon my arrival. There were people covering things for me while I was gone, but they were only doing the bare minimum, the things that absolutely couldn't wait. There would be other things that needed catching up now that I was back, and probably a stack of official items that needed my signature or attention specifically.
It's probably a good thing I have a shiny new group of bonded servants to do my work, then, I thought bitterly. Hopefully, one of the men was good at filing papers and writing business correspondence. Those were my least favorite jobs. And the assholes behind me deserved a little boredom. I suppressed a wicked grin and spent an hour or two happily planning all the horrible, tedious tasks I would assign to Raven team as punishment for their behavior.
It was a pleasant distraction. Until I felt the first drop of rain.
I stared down at the offending droplet that glistened on my hand. Then I sighed and turned to rummage around for my cloak, which had a minor dampness-repelling charm worked into it. More rain pattered down as I wrapped the cloak around my shoulders and tucked it in around my legs. I yanked my hood up in the hopes that the stiff brim would keep the rain from dripping into my eyes. The garment would help, certainly, but it wouldn't keep me completely dry. Damn it.
I glared ahead at the steely gray clouds. I wanted to be home as quickly as possible. Rain would only slow us down. I knew it was unreasonable of me to expect the weather to be perfect for the entirety of our journey. But I wasn't in the mood for this right now.
Currant dropped back to ride beside me, her own waterproof cloak wrapped around her, and her hood pulled up. "What would you like to do, my lady? We can stop and set up camp, try to stay dry until it passes. Or we can press on, knowing we'll be wet and miserable, but with the promise of a dry bed and a bath at the end of the day."
I huffed, and she gave me a wry smile. She knew how impatient I was to get home. "You can always ride in the carriage," she informed me. "Then you'd be dry and keep up the pace. That is why we brought the thing with us in the first place."
I eyed the fancy carriage that trundled along behind us. It was a silly convenience, but one that the royals had insisted on. We'd be leaving it behind when we reached the base of the mountains, but it was an option for one more day. I would feel like an ass, though, if I was all cozied up inside comfy and dry while Jasper and the guards were out here in the damp and cold. My mates were another story, but I refused to think about them just now. They didn't exist.
"I'll ride for now," I told Currant. "Not fair to the rest of you otherwise. And we'll keep going. But if the guards truly get too uncomfortable and tired of this, let me know and we'll stop whenever you say it's needed. I want to get home, but I don't want them to suffer for my impatience."
She nodded, her expression saying she respected my decision. "I appreciate your thoughtfulness toward your guardians. But no one will think less of you if you take to the carriage at some point. I'll agree to stop the travel when the guards are done in if you agree to take shelter when you need it. You're not a soldier, my lady. No one expects you to suddenly be used to traveling like one."
I returned her respectful nod, and she moved off to give her orders. With any luck, the rain would let up soon and the discussion would be pointless, anyway.
But it turned out that, too, was wishful thinking on my part. It seemed to be a problematic pattern with me lately, always hoping for the best, then being sorely disappointed. The rain stuck around, mostly an unending drizzle, with the odd blast of heavier rain and wind now and then.
I made it for a few more miserable hours as water seeped in around the edges of my cloak in uncomfortable trickles and soaked my uncovered legs. The wind had picked up a while back, and it chilled every damp inch of my body. Finally, I gave up my pride and went to speak with the commander.
"Carriage?" Currant asked as I urged Balefire up beside her on her griffon, before I even had a chance to speak.
I sighed at her cheeky grin. "Oh, shut up. Yes, carriage, damn it. You were right about my inability to weather hardships. Unless you and your people need to stop and make camp?"
She shook her head. "We'll pause long enough to let you get settled in your comfy ride, and pass around some fortifying potions and a flask," she said with a wink. "But unless it gets a whole lot worse, we'll probably press on to the inn. A proper bed and a bath sound really good right about now."
I nodded in agreement. She gave the order to halt, and I slid off Balefire's back. The pooka immediately shifted into a large black rat and scurried up my leg and into my jacket to get out of the rain. I snorted at him. "Coward," I muttered. "It's just a little rain."
I stiffly moved toward the carriage, hesitating when I saw that all of Raven team had dismounted and were waiting beside my haven. Bach opened the door as I approached and waved me in. Shoulders stiff and legs aching from all the riding, I clambered inside. I shucked my cloak as I went, so I could keep my seat as dry as possible, settling in and pulling a neatly folded blanket from a stack at the foot of the bench. I shivered as I draped the fluffy fabric over myself.
