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I huffed out a laugh and writhed on his lap a little. "I'll give you anything you want right now, if you'll just let me have you right here on this bench!"
He laughed, his deep voice rumbling through me as his arms slipped around my back to hold me against his chest. "Hungry little thing, aren't you? But I'd rather wait until after we are magically bonded to take you the way you deserve—to fully cement the physical bond. Besides," he stroked his hand over my back in soothing circles. "You're distraught. You've had a trying day. I wouldn't want to be accused of taking advantage of your fragile emotional state or some such nonsense."
I growled into the fabric of his shirt. "Fragile state. What a load of shit." Groaning, I sat up to look him in the eye. "Why are you so upstanding? Why are all of you such considerate assholes?" I demanded.
Adder raised a brow as he stroked my hair back from my face. "Oh? Did someone else leave you frustrated tonight as well, my little halfling?"
I scowled, embarrassment and frustration warring inside me. "Mirri," I muttered.
Adder threw his head back and laughed. His eyes glinted in the light of the waxing moon. "Of all of your mates, I would not have expected Mirri to be the one secretly seducing you, then playing games without the rest of us knowing."
I sighed and slithered off his lap to stand on the garden path. "He said the same damned thing you did. That I'm apparently too emotional to make these sorts of decisions." I arched a brow at him. "Of all my mates, I'd think you would allow me some unattached release."
He smirked at me as he stood. "Clearly, we need to get to know each other better, my little halfling," he said as he leaned down to whisper in my ear. "Because I don't do 'unattached'. I become very attached. Be sure you understand exactly what it means to be mine." Then he straightened and headed back up the path toward the house.
I shook my head at him, then lurched into motion when I remembered that I probably shouldn't be loitering around outside alone after dark with someone trying to murder me. Adder held the door open for me and ushered me inside. Then he sketched a courtly bow and headed down the hall toward the stairs, as if he was completely unruffled by the entire encounter.
I pressed a hand to my chest, over the fluttering sensation there. All this temptation and denial couldn't be good for my poor heart.
Chapter 20
The next morning over breakfast, Adder and I completed the initial magic-assisted part of our mate bond. While the others had all been bound to me after the tournament at the bonding ceremony back in Astra, he had refused the kiss that carried the priest's blessing. But luckily, the priest part wasn't as important as the magic and the intent. Fife's magic skills were enough to recreate the bonding oath. In fact, the cleric had laughingly shared that he had performed many bonding ceremonies back in his home territory while he traveled around providing healing and other services to the citizens under his mother’s care. My intent and Adder's were enough for him to complete the ritual.
It was awkward having one of my mates perform the ceremony to bond me to another of my mates when they had some sort of romantic relationship between them. I did my best not to focus on that part. But when Adder bent to press a maple syrup flavored kiss to my lips to seal the bond, I couldn't help but recall what he'd said last night, how he'd threatened to “punish” me while Fife watched.
Fife showed absolutely zero concern. As if this was all just an everyday occurrence and not a potentially complex and fraught interaction. When it was done, he kissed my cheek, patted Adder on the back in congratulations, and glided off to claim the last of the bacon for himself.
I felt Adder's dark eyes on me as I watched Fife and wondered how he could be so cavalier about everything most of the time. Was this just more pretending on his part? Was his cheerful hum as he finished his breakfast just another mask? Or was he truly that unconcerned?
Adder had squeezed the nape of my neck, then moved off to snatch the last of the spiced pears before Fife could devour those, too. The two of them argued over the fruit, but all I could see was the affection between them. It might not be obvious to anyone else, given Adder's cold demeanor and imposing expression, but it was there all the same, some subtle softening in his dark eyes and the lines of his chiseled lips when he looked at Fife.
They both seemed completely fine with the idea of each of them having a relationship with me. But I had to admit, I was struggling to be as calm about their relationship with each other. My insecurities were getting the best of me.
After breakfast, I shook off my romantic concerns and forced myself to focus on work. The construction of the mountain pass was now complete, and I had a meeting with the supervisor of the project today to inspect things on the Larkwood end before I signed off on the project. The first shipment of mage dust was also being sealed up and prepared for transport to the capital today. The "pending" changes to my territory were no longer pending. They were here. It was surreal. Although I knew this day would come, it had been a distant idea for so long that it was hard to accept that it was real. And in the back of my mind, I also had to be ever-vigilant and on the watch for assassination attempts or sabotage. I didn't have time to wonder about my mates' relationships with each other.
But later that day, as I headed toward the stairs to get ready for the upcoming meeting with the construction supervisor, I passed by the study at exactly the wrong time for my poor, insecure little heart.
Movement caught my eye as I approached the open door, making me pause on my way by. I knew Mirri would be there, surrounded by books and eagerly stuffing as much knowledge about Larkwood into his head as possible, or tracing social and political connections as he tried to figure out who might be trying to kill me. Maybe I should take a moment to say goodbye and steal a sweet kiss or two before I went off to talk business with the gruff male who oversaw the building of the mountain pass?
My feet stuck to the floor, and I slowed to a halt out in the hallway as I saw that Mirri wasn't alone. Fife was sitting on the big wooden desk, leaning over the book Mirri had been reading. Fife's expression was mischievous as he said something I couldn't hear. Mirri's blush was visible from outside the room, but rather than shoving Fife off the desk like he might if he was simply being teased, Mirri reached out and brushed a hand through the cleric's silky black curls, a soft expression of exasperated fondness on his face.
I pulled myself away from my lurking and continued on my way. It might just be simple, platonic affection I had witnessed. But my gut instinct said it was anything but. I did not want to see what happened next.
Maybe it wasn't just Adder. Maybe all of my mates were secretly in love with Fife. How in the world would that work for us? For me? How could I ever hope to compete with Fife's level of beauty and perfection? There was just no way. This all had to be some cruel joke. Surely the trouble-maker spirits of old were having a good laugh at my expense.
Once I reached my room, I changed into something a bit more suitable for riding. Bach knocked at my door just as I was finishing up, and I tried to set my worries aside for the time being. I joined him in the hall as I tied up my hair.
"Ready to go have a look at the future of travel for the people of Larkwood?" he asked me with a smile.
I nodded, and we headed toward the stairs. "Ready as I'll ever be," I told him. "Honestly? I'm nervous, more than anything." I knew that the mountain pass was a good thing for Larkwood, and it was long overdue. It would not only aid in trade and allow for more visitors from outside the territory, which would bolster our income. But it would also benefit the people of Larkwood, who had family and friends living in other territories. They could now travel much faster to Astra, Zora and the biggest ocean ports. But despite all the benefits, there was still some small part of me that was afraid of change, afraid this would be the death of the quiet, independent home I had known for so long.
I recalled my conversation with the king and queen back at the palace before the end of the tournament. I had promised that I was ready to stop hiding away in my distant territory and playing small. I had realized I needed to get more involved in the duties I had previously skirted around or shunned altogether—things like keeping closer tabs on the political situation and interacting more with the whole of Elfhaven, building relationships outside our territory for the good of everyone involved. These first small steps toward expansion were a move in that direction. It was time for me to honor my promise and become an even better steward. Even if I already mourned the peace and quiet.
Bach squeezed my shoulder encouragingly as we reached the ground floor. "I think it makes sense to have at least some healthy concerns," he said kindly. "If there is one thing I've learned from helping my parents with my family's estate, and from watching Fife's mother run her territory, it's that things don't go perfectly all the time. There will always be unforeseen complications. But a little confidence goes a long way. Even if you don't exactly feel it at the time. You just have to project confidence and have faith that you can handle whatever problem arises." His blue eyes met mine and his deep voice was full of conviction. "You aren't alone. No matter what comes up, we'll handle it. Together."
I took a deep breath and nodded. He was right. I couldn't live in fear over every little advancement or change. What kind of steward would I be to my people if I was always fussing over what was going to go wrong, rather than focusing on our growth? I could see myself maturing through this, and I knew it was a good thing.
His words also made me wonder about his family. His parents had obviously instilled their son with the skills and confidence to meet challenges head-on. And he seemed to speak fondly of them. Maybe one day I'd get the chance to meet them. But I didn't let myself get my hopes up too much. We only had year together, after all. The sand in the hourglass was falling faster than I ever would have imagined. And I wasn’t sure Bach would even want me to meet his parents, if he intended on dissolving our bond and leaving the moment the year was up.
