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Suddenly, the knowledge that there were beings out there who could actually make me forget things—whole memories, whole chunks of time—filled me with a sense of dread unlike anything else. And there was one standing right in front of me.
I hadn’t felt like this when I’d figured out what was really happening down here. I hadn’t felt like this when I’d watched Ethel turn into a giant lizard. I hadn’t felt like this when my entire understanding of the world and how it worked got turned on its head. Because I’d had Holt to keep me grounded, to ease me through it, to make it all seem not so scary.
But the possibility of it all getting ripped away from me now was utterly terrifying. It felt like longer, but it had only been a few weeks since we’d met. What if Holt had changed his mind? What if he’d decided the risk wasn’t worth it?
What if what we’d been nurturing together over the last few weeks wasn’t enough?
For the first time in a while, ugly and bitter thoughts swamped me. I hadn’t been enough for Marcus. I didn’t care about him now, but some things stayed with you. Some moments in life scarred you, even once the people who had inflicted those scars became meaningless and unimportant.
I was still boring and milquetoast and painfully uninteresting compared to Holt and his world. Maybe he’d decided it couldn’t possibly work between us, that we were too different. Those differences hadn’t felt wrong to me. They’d felt more like two pieces from completely different puzzles magically slotting together. Fitting perfectly. Creating a new picture.
But maybe Holt didn’t see it that way.
I didn’t realise Axel had left the room until Holt crouched in front of me and clasped my hands in his, worry filling his eyes.
“Babe, what’s wrong?” He gazed up at me, brows pinched in concern. “Tell me. Did something happen at work?”
I swallowed and shook my head, forcing a wobbly smile onto my mouth. “No, I’m okay.”
“You’re not.” Holt looked even more worried. He raised our clasped hands and pressed kisses over my knuckles. “Please tell me.”
“I just…” My mouth was dry with anxiety, but… I didn’t want to pretend with him. I didn’t want to hide anything from him. This had all started with us sharing all our secrets.
We’d always been entirely honest with each other. If it was coming to an end now, I wasn’t going to do nothing and let it just slip away by shielding myself from him.
“I just got really nervous when I saw Axel in here,” I told him hoarsely. “Especially after that text earlier… when you said you wanted to talk to me about something…”
Holt stared up at me blankly for a few moments before understanding dawned and made his eyes widen.
“Oh my god.” He stood and pulled me out of my seat, then crushed me against him in a tight embrace. “Oh my god, no, Taylor. No, no. Never. That’s not why he’s here. I would never—I can’t imagine anything fucking worse than making you forget all of this. Me.”
I sagged against him in relief, suddenly feeling overwhelmingly guilty for even entertaining the idea.
“I’m sorry,” I croaked into his neck. “I just panicked. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry.” Holt sounded a little choked. He pulled back and cupped my face. “Shit, I’m sorry. He just turned up a little while ago to see how we all were. I didn’t even think to warn you that he was… Fuck.”
“It’s okay,” I said quickly, clutching his suit jacket. “I just… jumped to conclusions.”
Holt leaned in to kiss me, then mumbled against my mouth, “I don’t ever want you to forget me, Taylor.”
I let out a shaky breath. “Me neither.”
“In fact…” He released me and stepped back, his eyes looking a little glassy as he cleared his throat and tugged on his waistcoat. “I actually… What I wanted to talk to you about was… I want to offer you a job,” he blurted in a rush, cheeks staining a darker grey.
I stared at him in utter shock. “What?”
“I want you to work for Goliaths. As our marketing manager. I want you here with me.” He was still blushing, fiddling with a button. “You have amazing ideas, and you’re… you… you’re too good for HotSex Corporation, babe. I’ll beat whatever salary they’re paying you. I don’t care. Demand anything you want. I’ll pay it.”
“I…” I was struggling to catch up. “What?”
“I’ve been getting an office ready for you,” he continued anxiously. “My neon guy is making a sign for it, which, yeah, maybe I should’ve waited until you’d actually accepted, but—”
“You’re offering me a job? Here?”
“Yes,” he said hoarsely, gazing at me with big eyes. “If you want it. You don’t have to accept. I just—”
“Okay,” I said, a huge grin slowly spreading across my face. “Okay. Yes. If you’re serious.”
