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After Camila left to go to her apartment one floor down, LJ was antsy. He kept looking around the apartment, and it pained me to see he was uncomfortable. I called Janine and told her to find a place fast. I didn’t care what it cost.
“How about you?”
She looks up. Her eyes and nose are red from crying. I can’t imagine the pain she must be feeling. The pain and confusion her son is feeling at having lost his father at such a young age.
“I’m…”
“I know, Aura. I’m here if you need me.”
Her lips are pink and full. I’m drawn to them, but I need to get a grip on my attraction for her. She’s grieving, and the last thing she needs is a man trying to take advantage of her. She loves Lane. Enough that she forgot about me. Enough that she gave him a son.
“Thank you, Kalum,” she says and walks inside the room next to mine.
She didn’t answer my calls or texts. I looked for her at school. I slept in her bed until the smell of her was gone. After a while, I accepted she was never coming back. I accepted she chose Lane, and I lost her forever.
New York is the city that never sleeps. At all hours, there are people on the streets. Police officers patrolling. The lights in the building never shut off. Just like my mind when it comes to the woman currently sleeping in the next room.
My glass of brandy is almost empty. The ice melts like the wall I have built around my heart because of Aura. The only woman I could ever see marrying. The only woman I could ever see having a life with. Children. And she’s taken. Unattainable.
I look around at my apartment, and I could see it through their eyes. The marble over the electronic fireplace. The sharp edges of the glass coffee and dining table. The chrome gleams from the base of the leather chairs. The white carpet on cold marble that needs to be dusted every two days, or it will create a film, turning it gray. The white carpet that’s steam cleaned every month.
My eyes focus on the six-foot canvas hanging on my wall near the dining table of a naked woman. Pink nipples and the curve of hips drawn with an expert hand. I had it commissioned by an artist in the art district. The image of Aura naked in my arms haunted me for so long that I had to get it out of my head but not her face. It would have been obvious if I had.
It’s three o’clock, and like most nights, I sit in the armchair and stare out the window with the view of the city, and every so often, I look at the painting, drinking a brandy, and think of another life. A life I could have had.
Placing the cup in the sink, I hear a whimper. I pause, wait a few seconds, and there it is again. I close my eyes, and I’m eighteen again waking up in my bed to the sound of the girl haunting my thoughts. My dreams.
The hallway is dimly lit by the lamp I made sure to leave on in case Aura needed to wake up and tend to LJ in the spare room. He is in a strange house away from everything he knows after losing his father. I’m sure he has trouble sleeping.
I’m about to pass the spare bedroom, telling myself I shouldn’t, but her sobs break me. I push the door slowly, and Aura faces away from me on her side. She sighs, and then her body trembles as another sob wracks her small frame.
My knees touch the edge of the bed, and I tell myself not to do it, but I can’t. I can’t leave her like this. Crying and alone.
When I pull the comforter gently, she turns to face me. Her cheeks glisten from her tears. She’s been crying for a while. There is a huge wet spot on her pillow.
“Kalum,” she whispers in a trembling voice. “What…”
Her eyes go wide when I slide next to her in the queen-size bed. I’m shirtless and in my Tom Ford pajama pants, but I couldn’t care less. I’m not here to take advantage of her. I’m here to hold her. To comfort her.
“I’m here, Aura.”
She sits up on the bed, and a sob escapes her throat. I wrap my arms around her and pull her to my chest. The smell of her hair hits me, and I’m back in my parents’ house holding her when we were teenagers.
“I-I miss him, Kalum,” she says in a trembling voice. “I miss him so much.”
My nose stings because I miss him too. He was a good man. A good friend even if he had what I wanted. He didn’t deserve his life to end the way it did.
“I know, Aura.” I close my eyes. “I’m here for you… I’m here for you both.”
She wraps her arms around my neck, and I hold her tight, hearing her grieve for the man she loves. While my heart is rattling inside my chest in the storm of emotions I buried years ago. Emotions that started with infatuation covered up by vexation, not knowing if it was love. But our storm was beautiful, destructive, one of a kind.
It was ours.
It was us.
30
AURA
