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“Did he seriously compare you to heavy machinery?”
“No. He just told me to stay away. And he’s right. I shouldn’t have even attempted this already. It was stupid to think that this could even work out when I know that I wasn’t meant for a pack or alphas at all.”
“You really think that?” asked Shelby. “You think that for the rest of your life, you are never going to have an alpha or alphas and you are going to be this individual of academia like your mother wants for you. Because I’m sorry, girl, you’re smart but you’re miserable.”
“What?”
“You’re doing amazing and beating me in most classes, don’t get me wrong,” said Shelby. “But are you happy?”
Happy. Was I happy?
My omega wanted to sob inside of me. No. I wasn’t happy.
Not even a little.
It must’ve shown on my face.
“Yeah. So why are you doing this to yourself? I know your mom wants this for you.”
“I want this too.” I said, “I want to succeed and make something of myself.”
“Why is making something of yourself more worthwhile here than it could be doing something else you love or taking care of your mates? It’s valid, Vera. I know it’s such a taboo thing to say especially in the wake of omega rights and everything, but it doesn’t make what you want or desire any less valid even though you were given this path. No matter what this Silas super-hot hockey alpha said?—”
“He told me that he was going to tell Leeson and Jacob that I was using them because of my heat coming up.”
Shelby stopped talking, mouth hanging open. “And you think they’ll believe that?”
I shrugged. “It’s their head alpha.”
“So?”
“So,” I said, trying to find my reasoning. I just couldn’t stand it if they even believed that kind of thing. I couldn’t stand the idea of Leeson and Jacob hesitating over me for even a moment.
“Are you seriously going to let this alpha-hole ruin your mates? You seemed happy, even for a short time when you spent time with them or talked about them.”
“I didn’t talk about them that much.”
“Only all the time.”
Was I getting that bad?
“You should call them. Tell them what is going on. I’m sure they won’t freak out,” said Shelby. “They took the same ridiculous designation classes we did the first year. They should at least understand the omega alpha birds and bees lecture of what happens every so many months…”
“You don’t need to go into it.”
“Thank god. Thank you.” Shelby sighed. “So, you’re going to get over this melodrama and call them?”
I thought for a second. “Maybe. I will. I don’t know. I need to go to my biology lecture soon.”
“I’ll walk with you.”
Once I was dressed in something that resembled clothing, we finally headed out across campus. It was dark and dreary out already and the lights started to come on as students pushed upumbrellas to stay out of the drizzle. My sweatpants stuck to my knees throughout the entire biology lecture I had already read the other day.
By the time it finally ended, my eyes were heavy, and I closed my laptop screen from where I was squinting at the light.
“Vera. Would you mind staying and coming to my office for a moment?” Ms. Meyers called from where she was gathering up her things.
I gave a small smile and nod as I gathered my things. As I moved towards the aisle, another body collided with mine, knocking into my shoulder.
