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“There aren’t many hills I won’t die on, and this is one of them. We had a deal.”
“Your safety is more important than any wild hair you got up your ass.” His voice carried across the room, breaking the tension, and she sighed. He was beating himself up about everything.
“Zhair, will you take the tack over to the back pasture? Then meet me at Ursula’s stall. I think me and the wet blanket need to have a come-to-Goddess meeting.”
“Damn. I have to leave? It was just getting good.”
She waited until the door slammed behind Zhair before she moved behind Nassau, pressing the front of her body to his back, and wrapping her arms around him.
“You feel so good, Nas.”
The way he felt wasn’t his fault. It was hers.Hewas trying to do what was right, and that was on her. She had no right to get pissy with him.
She didn’t know where this clarity came from, or when she started acting like an adult, but something about his presence calmed her, especially when she was touching him. This, this right here was the pro side of mates. The balance they provided in your life, and she knew just how right everyone was.
“Do you want me to leave? Do you want me to go back to Aisling? You say the word, and I’ll go. Right now.”
She held her breath as she said the words softly, her stomach clenching as she waited for his response.
“I want you safe. That’s not with me.”
“You’re the only one who makes me feel safe.”
His hands closed over hers, overlapping where she held him around his waist. “You shouldn’t. I can’t stay focused around you. I should have listened in the beginning and stayed away. There’s no one and done with you.”
She closed her eyes, her cheek still pressed into his back, and inhaled his scent. He couldn’t look at her, couldn’t face her.He was blaming himself, beating himself up. Guilt washed over her, and she squeezed her eyes shut.
The words to tell him, the words to confess, formed on her lips, but disappeared when he twisted to face her, picking her up and setting her on the table in front of him. It happened so fast;she didn’t have a chance to look at his face before he buried it in her neck.
Her wolf howled, then whimpered, unable to connect to his wolf without her scent waking him. She felt Nassau’s longing, his frustration, and she stroked the back of his neck, running her hands along his shoulders until she heard his voice, hoarse, but pleading.
“Stay.”
She cupped his face with her hands, pressing her forehead to his before kissing him and feeling his lips move under hers. When they broke free, she ran her fingers over his chest, smoothing the two braids that were always there. She had an urge to unbraid and free his hair, to see it spill over his shoulders while he fucked her. But it’s like he knew what she was thinking, and took her chin between his fingers, lifting to stare into her eyes. “Zhair’s waiting.”
Reluctantly, she pulled away, aware of his hands on her hips, thumb rubbing circles in the crease of her thigh. “You have to stop touching me then.”
He smirked, then slid her to the ground, before giving her one last kiss and pulling away. She missed his touch immediately, and she opened the door before looking back. He already had his back to her, working on the rope he was repairing.
“I feel it too, Nas. You’re not alone.”
She turned away, making her way to the other side of the stables where Ursula’s stall was. Her heart raced, and there was a small part of her that wanted him to beg her to stay, not just today, but forever.What scared her was that she would. Every day, she was getting weaker, and she knew if she told him, she might never leave.
Chapter 23
Monday, November 22
8:15 a.m.
His eyes lingered on her ass as he watched her walk down the corridor, making sure she got to Ursula’s stall without incident. He wouldn’t chance it again.
Everything Axel had said to him was the truth. He had been given responsibilities—to keep her safe, to keep their pack safe, and to catch the stalker. It was one thing to fuck her, but to put that before all his other obligations was unacceptable.
But because he couldn’t control himself, and because he couldn’t think straight or focus with her around, he had left her vulnerable to another attack. He should send her back to Aisling, where they wouldn’t let her out of their sight. He was selfish in wanting her to stay, even for a few more days, but he couldn’t seem to say no. He couldn’t shake his need for her.
When Axel had said she would go home this morning, without a goodbye, with no way to contact her, he had been so defeated. He didn’t even know her cell phone number.
But he knew every inch of her body, the meaning of every subtle movement she made, every time her mood changed, or when she was up to something. He had felt her anger today and known his words would piss her off.
