AllFreeNovel
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I pee with the door open. She doesn’t come in to watch, which is unusual, but I figure she is starting to trust me more since I’ve been mostly behaving. I mean, she doesn’t know I threw up today.
I come out of the bathroom after washing my hands and look in the mirror. I touch up a few smudges and put on a new layer of lipstick.
“I’m going to hang out on Wes’s bus after the show.” I say as she locks up the bathroom again. “I’ll be back by bus call.”
“You better be. Don’t make me go looking for you. I’ll have a sandwich waiting for you.”
“Yes.” I roll my eyes.
“You have a few minutes. I’ll meet you at side stage.”
“Okay.” I say as she walks out the door.
The pre-show panic is starting to take hold. I pull out my vial and do two small bumps. My heart is already racing, but I’m hoping the drugs will beat out the anxiety.
I can do this. I can do this. Ican’tdo this.
I double over, breathing heavily, as the room seems to double in temperature. I feel hot and can feel a bead of sweat form on my forehead.
There is a knock on my dressing room door, and it makes me jump. I open it, not sure who to expect, but see its Wes. He walks in.
“How was our set?” He asks. I just nod, on the verge of hyperventilating. “Are you okay?”
“I have trouble.” I say softly, trying to get control of my breathing. “Getting to the stage.”
“Okay?” He questioningly tilts his head to the side. “Why? You are amazing out there.”
“I’m scared of losing it like I lost everything else.”
“Losing it?”
“Like if I mess up out there and suddenly, I won’t have it anymore.”
“Won’t have it anymore?” He repeats questioningly.
“The safety of knowing they can’t touch me out there. They can’t dismiss my talent, but if I mess up out there, they will jump on it and rip me apart for it.”
“Okay.” He nods. “I got it.” He walks up to me and grabs me by the shoulders. “Abbey. You are extremely talented. Your voiceis better than any other I’ve heard. It’s original, and even if you happen to make a mistake up there, no one can take away the fact you have the voice of an angel. Mistakes happen. I made my fair share. I’ve forgotten the words to songs I’ve sung a hundred times. It happens, and it won’t ruin a thing. No one can take away your talent.” He tilts my head up so I’m looking into his eyes.
“Okay.”
“You got this.” He rubs my chin with his thumb. “If all else, play like it’s just me watching. I know that helped me tonight. I was so nervous to playFeeling Scars, but I just thought about you watching, and I got through it.”
“Thank you.” I say softly, and he smiles.
“I can talk about how great you are all day.”
I lean my head against his forehead, my lips inches from his now. I bite my lip to keep from kissing him.
“Best friends.” He says, looking into my eyes. “Now you’ve got a show to play.”
I nod, taking a step back. He releases my shoulder.
“Okay. I can do this.” I say, and he nods his head approvingly.
He pulls out his vial and does two bumps. I follow suit and do a bump as well. He picks up the bottle of vodka and takes a sip before passing it to me. I take a long gulp from it.
“Knock them dead, beautiful.”
