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Tutting at myself, I check what the phone is desperately trying to notify me about. It’s a message from my calendar.
Damon agreement ends today.
Oh.Right.Of course.
That whole contract thing with Damon was supposed to conclude today, according to the terms we laid out when we signed the thing.
Well, isn’t that crazy...
I must’ve completely forgotten to delete that upcoming notification when everything with him went...haywirea few weeks ago. When I decided never to speak to him again.
I overheard Damon and my dad’s conversation that night five weeks ago when he rocked up to my family house unannounced. My dad had lied to Damon at the door - I was actually there, at the house. I was standing by the stairs, out of view of the man. I clearly heard Dad telling him that I never wanted to see him again.
It was the truth.
And it also kinda...wasn’t.
Ever since that night, Damon has kept true to his word – like he always did – and he hasn’t even attempted to contact me in any way since then. It has been complete radio silence from him. He clearly respects me enough not to intrude or step on my wishes.
But I have to admit there is a part of me – buried deep inside – that doeskindawant him to reach out.
I would really love to hear that deep, silky voice of his one more time...
And sometimes, I doubt myself. I question if leaving Damon that night at the brewery fire was the right thing to do. Sometimes, when the world is quiet and I’m left on my own, I spin through a whole range of thoughts about what happened. Was I overreacting by leaving? Was that me defining my boundaries, or just me being selfish?
Do I really want him out of my life forever?
But then I remember seeing Damon lay into that man as the fire raged around them. His fists flying. His anger. The violence on display.
Yeah, it was the right thing to go. I told him I didn’t want to witness violence. That was a deal-breaker, and he knew that. And he still broke it.
He can't expect to come crawling back to me, thinking everything will be fine. He crossed that red line, and even I am smart enough to realize that it'll only happen again if I let him back into my life. I’ve seen enough posts on social media to know that men who break one non-negotiable will only break others.
In the weeks since he rocked up to Dad’s place trying to get back with me, I’ve tried my best to forget about Damon, and all the memories we made together, and focus instead on that last night when it all fell apart. That night at the brewery fire. I focus on how Damon broke his word on that night and committed an act of violence in front of me, despite my protests.
I have really tried my best to forget him.
Since then, I’ve gone back to college. I’ve moved back in with Olivia at the dorms, back in my old college bed. Just like the time before Dad told me about his debts and I had my heart broken by Luke.
Like the time before I met Damon Penmayne.
And now I am back in class, studying like a good student for once in my life.
Well, that’s where I am meant to be heading to - back to class. I’m crossing the CRU campus when that reminder on my phone goes off in my hands.
Being a good student has come with feeling good about myself, but it also has its downsides. The last few weeks have beenboring. Like, realrip-your-hair-outboring. I was swept up off my feet into a gangster’s world in a sudden strange whirlwind and now I’ve thudded back down to reality with a real crash on my butt.
Sometimes, in the dead of night, when it feels like the whole world is asleep except for me, I allow myself the momentary indulgence to think about Damon. I think aboutgiving him a second chance, and what that might mean. But I know you can’t change a man like him: a man with violence embedded in his heart and in his history. My own heart has been broken too many times to dare risk it all again. I don’t know if my little heart could take it.
I clutch my phone in my hand and continue my march across campus. I’m about to reach the main door of the lecture hall building when I am stopped dead in my tracks by none other than Luke.
Ha. Talking about broken hearts…
“Jesus,” I exclaim, surprised at the sudden appearance of the man I’ve come to fear in the last few weeks.
Damn, Ava. Why are you so awkward?
My ex grins at me.
