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Finally, it’s like a rubber band snapping inside of me and the waves of pleasure crash into me. I shout his name as he pumps. His rocking slower, he empty’s himself into the condom before pulling out.
He kisses me gingerly and goes to clean up. I lay there, my heart beating loudly in my chest, out of breath and feeling worshipped. I think my heart is starting to thaw.
Is this how it feels to be loved?
No, it’s just been a while since I’ve connected with anyone like this. A few orgasms that make see stars does not mean I’m falling for Theo.
He returns from my bathroom, a goofy grin on his face, before bounding into bed with me. Still fully nude he pulls me close to him, spooning me. He kisses my head.
I can’t help but think how perfectly we fit together in this moment. He makes me feel warm and safe.
And loved.
In the silence between us, as we catch our breath, I wonder if I’m starting to have actual feelings for Theo.
Nonsense, it’s just been a great dinner and an even better evening.
It’s nothing serious. It can’t be.
Somehow, as if we spend every night together, we both drift to sleep, naked in each other’s arms.
Theo
I wake to the sound of a coffee grinder. I stretch and realize I’m in Marie’s bed. Her bed smells like coffee and oranges. I notice the clock says seven and wince. Much too early for me. I scan the room for my pants before remembering we left our clothes in the living room.
No reason to be shy now.
I shrug and get out the bed. As soon as I stand, I see my clothes neatly folded and laying on the chair in the corner of her room. Her little book nook. I imagine her curled up, reading a book, all cozy in her room. I wonder if she blushes when she reads her romance books.
I put my clothes on, opting to leave the sweater off for now. I don’t bother to button all the buttons on my shirt. I join Marie in her living area. She’s dressed in a pair of maroon shorts and a grey shirt. She’s breathtaking with her tousled hair and her rosy cheeks.
“Good morning.” She pours coffee into two mugs and gestures to her dining table.
“Good morning.” I kiss her cheek before taking the mug from her hand. “Thank you for the coffee.”
“It’s a hazelnut blend from the roastery. Hope you enjoy it.”
“I don’t think I’ll enjoy anything as much as I enjoyed last night,” I murmur, letting the coffee’s sweet and nutty aroma fill my nostrils.
“Last night was spectacular.” She sips her coffee and we sit in comfortable silence. As if we do this every morning.
I find it hard to think of something witty to say. I want to ask her out again. I want to see her more, to spend another night together. But I don’t know what she expects. What she wants. All I know is how I feel.
I want to follow where my heart is going, but my ever-watchful gut stops me. I want to kiss her goodnight and talk about the future together. But it’s too fast. Hesitancy grips me, as if shaking me violently, trying to get me to sort my feelings out for once in my life.
I want this woman, but my past isn’t even the last hurdle.
I can’t fall in love with a woman who lives in a beach town when I fly back and forth between Canada and New York. Not to mention my book tour. I’ll be living in hotel rooms and drinking stale coffee for months. That’s not a great way to start off a relationship.
Marie is unlike any other woman I’ve met. She’s honest, hardworking, determined, and passionate about her career.
It’s sexy as hell.
But she’s not the type of person that would drop everything to join me on a book tour where we’d spend more time on plane rides than with each other. Between my book tour and the movie, there’s no way I would give any of that up to stay here. It’s a predicament I never thought I’d find myself in, I’m going to need help untangling all my thoughts and feelings.
Thank goodness I meet with Jake soon. Of all our friends, I didn’t anticipate him settling down. Hopefully he can give me some direction. For now, I’ll keep these feelings to myself. Hidden from Marie.
We finish our coffees, chatting about my plans for the week. I tell her I’m meeting with Jake to catch up. She tells me to stop by the roastery sometime this week for coffee if my Airbnb doesn’thave any stocked. This moment feels so natural, as if we wake up and have coffee every morning.
