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“I think it would be a lot of fun to go with you,” I say. “I’m already comfortable around you, it would be less scary with you by my side.”
“Does the prom scare you?” he asks.
“Just the thought of everyone watching me,” I say, shivering.
“Maybe you’re worth watching,” Austin says quietly.
I’m not sure how to respond. My voice sticks in my throat and I can’t find words.
“Just let me know what you decide,” he says. He climbs down my porch stairs and disappears up the street, before I can even react.
I fall against my front door and stand there for a minute. What is happening to my life?
***
As I try to sneak past the kitchen and make my way upstairs, my eye catches Mom’s office door. All I’ve heard since I could walk is that being prom queen is my legacy. I step back down the stairs and tap lightly on the door. I can still hear Mom’s excited voice from the kitchen, plotting my future. But I knock anyway. No answer. I push it open slowly. The room is dark and empty. I shut the door behind me and flip on the light. I walk over to the shelves where Mom’s crown sits on a silk pillow beneath some glass. Resting across the glass is a blue sash with the words “Prom Queen” in gold. I reach up and feel the silky material between my fingers. Could this really be my future? It feels so foreign to me.
Beside my mom’s crown is my grandma’s crown and sash. And next to that, is my great-grandma’s crown and sash. I think great-grandma’s sash was black once upon a time. Now it looks more like a dingy grey color. A framed picture of each woman in her prom dress, taken the night of her crowning, stands proudly beside each set. I stare up at all of them, standing perfectly in a row. I feel like they’re looking down, judging me, saying I’ll never be good enough to join them. I never knew either of these grandmas, but I know their expectations for me.
I pull out my phone and point it toward the crowns.
“Hey Steve. This right here is my legacy.” I slowly scan over the three sets of crowns and sashes. I slow down and hover over each picture.
“Forget the last hundred years of trying to fight for rights and progress. Forget about how smart I am. Forget about myskills and talents. This is what’s most important to my family and my school.”
I turn the camera around to selfie mode.
“It all boils down to looks and popularity. Will I be beautiful enough to follow in the footsteps of the women before me?” I shrug. “I don’t know, Steve.
“Both my grandma and great-grandma were just housewives. Winning the prom queen title was the highlight of their lives. And my mom went to college, but all she does is teach and coach cheer to snotty teenagers. No wonder she cherishes her time in high school. Her life hasn’t gotten any better since then! I hate that this is where my value lies; purely in my looks. It doesn’t matter that I’m smarter than my mom. It doesn’t matter that I’ll probably be more successful in life than she is. It all boils down to this moment and this time. Do I have what it takes to win this glorified beauty contest? Because if not, then my life will be meaningless. At least according to the last three generations of women in my family. But no pressure.”
Chapter Five
“Emma, are you in here?”
I quickly end my video and shove my phone back into my pocket. Mom and Dylan enter her office and look at me expectantly. “What’re you doing?”
“Oh, you know, just communing with my destiny,” I say, pointing to the crown-lined shelf.
Dylan snorts softly. But Mom completely misses my sarcasm. She bounces on her toes, her eyes shining. “Isn’t it exciting?” she squeals.
“Sure is,” I give her a thumbs up.
“You need to go change,” Mom says, remembering her mission.
I look between Mom and Dylan. “What, why?”
Mom ignores me and turns to Dylan, “Take your sister with you.”
“Where?”
“To Henry’s party tonight.”
“Henry Cho?” I ask, remembering our awkward encounter in the gym. “How do you know about it?”
“How do younot?” Mom retorts.
“It’s okay, Mom, I don’t want to go. I have tons of homework this weekend anyway. I’d rather stay here,” I say. “Besides, Henry and I aren’t exactly friends.”
