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I feel my jaw trying to form words. “You… How did you come up with that so quick?”
“I do have my own company.”
“A landscaping one. How do you know about websites and stuff?”
“Business management and tech classes were a requirement for my degree.”
“Cade says you have a degree in flowers and trees.”
Now it’s Deacon’s turn to roll his eyes. “Cade says that because I specialized in Landscape Architecture. But I also majored in business so I could run my own company.”
That’s… actually kind of hot.I always liked the rugged, outdoorsy side of Deacon, but until today I’ve never seen the intelligent side. I didn’t know it existed since his bar conversation skews toward hobbies that include hurling himself down a mountain as fast as possible and picking up women.
“So, pretend for a minute I want to try this idea. You'd help?” I drag my finger along his collarbone.
He catches my hand and holds it in his. “I could introduce you to the people that could help.”
“That’s not you?”
“No.” He kisses my knuckles before letting go of my hand. “So, is the badass bitch thing why you’re suddenly so forward?”
“What?” I blink, not entirely following his train of thought.
“Tiff, for years you’d shoot me a look when you thought I wasn’t paying attention, or maybe gave that pretty ass an extra swing, but it was all so subtle I wasn’t sure I was seeing it. Then a few weeks ago you asked to suck my cock, this morning you asked to watch me beat off, and you put your mouth on me when I wasn’t looking. I’m not complaining.” He threads his fingers in my hair, holding my head so I can’t look away. “I just want to know why. What changed?”
I trap my lower lip between my teeth, stalling for time. How do I admit I was drowning in loneliness, feeling lost in the only place I’d ever called home? Or that I’d always had forward thoughts in my head, about him, I just didn’t have the courage to act on them until a bump on the head made me brave enough to push the limits. It gave me an out just like…The New Year’s kiss. He never did explain that, did he?
“Why did you kiss me that night?” The crease between his brows tells me he’s not sure what I’m referring to. “New Year’s. You kissed the breath out of me. Why?”
His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows. “I saw an opportunity and I took it.”
“Why?”
His blue eyes seem to get even bluer as he opens his mouth, shuts it, and opens it again. “I felt like it.”
“Well, there you go.”
“What?” The crease gets even deeper.
“The night you took me home I saw an opportunity. Being stuck here in this cabin is another. I’m taking advantage of it, like a badass bitch would do.” It’s not a lie, it’s just not the whole truth about my motivation, or the direction of my thoughts.Thathe still isn’t ready to hear.
“Tiff, I get wanting to have a career you love instead of a job that pays the bills, but you don’t need to reinvent yourself…”
“I’m not. I’m doing whatIwant instead of what everyone else expects. I hope I can do that in Katah Vista, but if not...”
Deacon’s lips form a thin line as he nods curtly, then slides me off his lap. “I’m going to make dinner.”
Chapter 17
Deacon
IfeelTiff’seyeson me as I preheat the oven, but I can’t bring myself to turn around. If I do, I’m afraid she’ll see the truth, and that won’t benefit either of us.
Fuck, this is a mess.
I never should’ve asked her why she’s become so bold. I should’ve known she’d somehow turn it back on me.
It’s bad enough she knows I’m attracted to her, but if she realized it’s more than that… If she knew how the thought of her leaving makes me physically unsteady… What we’re doing is bad enough, she can’t know I have feelings for her, or she’ll never walk away when our time is up. And as much as I dread that thought—dread the idea of seeing her with anyone but me—it’s the only possible outcome.
