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When the water begins to cool off, I drain the tub and wrap my robe around me. I walk to my room and turn on the Christmas lights I have hanging over my bed, then I get dressed in some warm jammies. I get my wine glass from the bathroom along with my phone and see that it’s almost nine, which gives me about an hour before Miles is supposed to call. I suppose I could text him and tell him that I got home earlier. Should I? I don't want to keep him waiting when I am free now. I’m suddenly really anxious. I down the rest of my wine, pour another, and sit on the bed with my legs crossed. I grab my phone and send him a quick text. He might not even see it until later. Who knows?
Lizzie:I got off earlier than I thought, so I am already home.
?I put my phone down, reach for my laptop, and look over the manuscript I’ve been writing. I smile because I really like how this story is progressing. I was stuck for so long, and then almost instantly, my writer’s block was gone. The words just began to pour out of me. I think it has something to do with Miles, which seems crazy because I barely know him. But he inspires me, and the hero in my story might possibly resemble him. I chuckle to myself thinking of writing about Miles when my phone begins to ring. I look down and see his name. My heart begins to feel like it’s going to beat out of my chest. I answer the phone, “Hello.”
“Hey there,” he says.
Oh, his voice is so sexy, it just makes me want to melt. I can’t help but have this huge, silly grin on my face. I’m so gladhe can’t see me right now. “How was your day?” I ask.
“It was good and busy. I had several meetings back-to-back today. How was your day, Lizzie?”
Man, oh man, the way he says my name. It just rolls perfectly off his tongue. “I can’t complain. We did get some interesting books in at the bookstore, but none were first editions, which is what I look for almost immediately. And then my shift at the restaurant was slow. We weren’t busy, and I was able to get off earlier than I thought. Then I froze on my walk home. Ha-ha”
?“You walked home, alone?” He sounds upset.
“Yes, I do every day. I don’t live far, so it isn’t a big deal. I should have worn a thicker jacket today. I didn’t realize it would be so cold tonight. I think I was a popsicle once I got through my apartment door. I definitely need to check the forecast tomorrow.”
“Lizzie, it’s not safe to walk alone at night, especially in New York. I will send Thomas to fetch you after work, so you don’t walk home anymore.”
“Wh-What? No. That’s not necessary. Really. I do this all the time. It’s not a big deal. Besides, I’m not taking advantage of your driver. He should be home with his family.” I can’t even believe he offered his driver. It’s not like I’m a teenager. I’ve done this route so many times, I could do it with my eyes closed. I really don’t know what he’s getting so upset about. I’m certainly not going to use Thomas! Geez, that’s the kind of thing the women he was talking about would do. I’m independent, and I have been for years.”
“Lizzie,” he growls, and his voice sounds like a warning. “I’m not letting you walk home alone at night. If you won’t let Thomas drive you, then I will come pick you up. Plus, it will give me an extra reason to see you.”
“You’re not letting me?” I ask because, surely, I heard him wrong.
“Please be reasonable. You’re with me now, and I don’t like the thought of you walking. Please allow me to help. I didn’t mean I’m not letting you; it wasn’t the right wording. I would just rather know that you are safe and taken care of.”
“This seems like the sort of thing the women you spoke of, that you attract, would expect from you. I’m not like them, and I don’t want anyone to think that’s why I’m with you. It’s not. I have never had a problem before with walking. I don’t mind it, really.”
“I know that’s not why you are with me.” He seems to be getting upset with me, and I don’t really know what to do. “I want you safe, Lizzie. I want to know if you are safe. It doesn’t matter what other people think. They can talk to me if they have a problem, but I want to do this for you. Please, allow me to ensure your safety.”
I really don’t want to fight with him. Yes, I have heard stories about women being attacked at night, but not in this part of town. I do see where he is coming from. I just don’t want to become dependent on him. I know he’s worried; I can hear it in his voice. I don’t want to be the cause of that. I guess if it’s him picking me up, then it won’t be as bad. Like he said, it would be another excuse to see him again. I sigh audibly and I know he can hear it.
“Miles, I don’t want to take advantage of you. I know that you are a very busy man. But if it would make you feel better, then we can try out the ride and see how it goes. I do not want to be a burden by any means, and I could just as easily order an Ub-.” Before I can finish, he responds.
“It’s settled then. You can send me your schedule for the restaurant, and either I or Thomas will be there waiting to take you home. This is important to me, Lizzie. Thank youfor allowing me to do this for you. And you could never be a burden. Anyways, enough talk of that. I want to know more about you. Tell me about your family.”
Ugh,the dreaded “family” question. Obviously, it’s unavoidable; but how much should I tell him? “Ah, my family. Where should I start? I was born and raised in Savannah, Georgia. I have one sibling, a brother named William. He is nine years older than me. I suppose I was sort of an ‘oops’ baby. He is married to his high school sweetheart, and they gave me two beautiful nieces, whom I don’t see nearly enough. My parents,ugh, got divorced when I was twelve, and it was very unexpected and a difficult time. My father remarried almost immediately and wanted me to go to law school, so I could work in his firm one day. Since I didn’t go that route, he refused to pay for my college tuition. Fortunately, I had a 4.0 GPA and got awarded several scholarships, but I still had to take out student loans. We had a huge fight because he paid for my brother’s tuition but not mine. That created a larger chasm between us, which fostered an even more intense relationship. So, when I visit back home, I mostly avoid contact with him. My mother, on the other hand, has always been there for me; and I try and fly down to see her several times a year. What about you? Tell me about your family.” I hope I didn’t say too much. That just all came tumbling out of my mouth. It’s more than I tell most people that have known me for a while, so it’s strange that I just spilled everything like that.
“I’m sorry to hear about your parents. I can’t imagine what that was like for you. I guess I also don’t know what it’s like to not have the approval of your father. I was groomed from an early age to take over the family company. I always knew where I would be going to college and what I would be studying. I haven’t really thought about what I would have done if the choice was up to me. I do enjoy publishing. My parents were high school sweethearts, much like your brother and his wife. They were happily married right up until hehad a heart attack last year. It was so sudden; no one got to tell him goodbye. I think that’s what I regret the most. I was at a meeting, and I had my phone off; by the time I got to the hospital, it was too late.” He takes a long breath, then continues, “And you know I have a brother, Sebastian. You met him at the club. He is three years younger than me, so we were always causing trouble when we were younger. My mother and I are remarkably close; she lives just out of the city. I try and visit as often as I can because I know that she is lonely.”
“I can’t imagine losing a parent that way. I’m sorry your family had to suffer through that. I’m sure he would be very proud of the work you are doing with the company,” I remark.I hope that he changes the subject because I would rather not go into details of my childhood. I know I’ll have to tell him at some point, but I’m not in the mood to go through that trauma in my mind.
“Thank you for saying that. Sometimes I wonder if I am filling his shoes. He was exceptionally successful, and I haven’t scratched that surface yet. I really want to prove to the board that I should be there, as an asset, not just because it was my father’s company.” He pauses for a moment. “I’ve actually never told anyone about my concerns with the company. You make it so easy to talk to you.”
?“Wow, that’s a remarkably high compliment. I could tell you the same thing. I feel like I have known you longer than I actually have. It’s strange, yet comfortable. You know how I was telling you that I was drafting a book?” I ask.
“Yes, I remember you saying you were having trouble with it.
I smile that he remembers. No other man in my life has cared for this passion I have. “Exactly. I was at a point where I thought I might be better off giving up; but since I met you, the words have been pouring out of me like a waterfall. Maybe youare my muse.” I chuckle. Then I feel heat creep up my cheeks. I shouldn’t have said that. That was too much information, right? Now, he is probably going to freak out.Lizzie, you must put a filter on that mouth!Then I quickly add, “I guess maybe that wasn’t the right thing to say. I’m just meaning, I think my writer’s block has finally broken,” I let out an exasperated breath.
I hear him smile as he says, “Why would my being your muse be a bad thing? I believe I would be a great muse. Even if I do say so myself…” He lets out a loud laugh, and I suddenly feel like he is making fun of me. However, he then adds, “Lizzie, it’s a compliment. I’m happy that I’ve been able to help. Seriously, I haven’t been able to get you out of my mind these past few days. I know how quickly this seems to be happening, but when you know, you know. I can just feel it and would love to read what you’ve been working on.”
“Oh, I have actually never let anyone read anything I’ve written, except for assignments in college, and especially not you, being in publishing. I guess I don’t take criticism very well. I’ll be crushed if you think it’s terrible. I also wouldn’t want you to lie on my behalf and tell me it was good.” I sigh. “I guess it’s a tricky situation. While we are talking about my book, I just want you to know I’m not going to submit my manuscript to your company when it’s completed. I know you would help it get to where it needs to be, but I want the writing to do that on its own. Do you understand? It has nothing to do with Knight Publishing, I mean, you are the best in the country. I just don’t want any special treatment. I have something to prove to myself. I just… don’t want anyone to think I’m getting special treatment from being in a relationship with you.”
He’s silent for a moment, and I regret even bringing up his company. What if he was waiting for me to bring up my book in relation to his company? What if he thinks I’m lying,and I’m just like every other woman that wants handouts? But on the other hand, I don’t want to offend him by not submitting it. Ah, this is an exceedingly difficult situation. I run my hand through my hair and try to take a deep breath.
After a moment of silence, he finally speaks, “Lizzie, first and foremost, please believe me when I say that I know, in my soul, that you are not like the other women from my past. I know that’s where part of that comment came from.”
