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“Our Heavenly Father,
Thank you for this day that you’ve brought us all here for.
Our being alive is a testament that You are not done with us yet, and we pray that Your path for our lives continues to become clear so that we may follow it and do Your will. We thank You for Samantha, who works tirelessly for the animals, and I pray that we find room in our hearts and homes for the precious creatures You created that are looking for a second chance. That are looking for a family of their own.
May we find them that, Lord.
In Your name, Amen.”
The church filled withAmensafter his prayer, and everyone began standing. I half expected a run for the door to get to the shelter, but everyone stiffly walked in a polite single file. The Pastor didn’t stand at the exit doors today shaking hands and kissing babies, but instead, stayed up at the pulpit.
Judy wanted to say goodbye to him, so she told me to wait while she tiptoed up the stairs to talk to him. He leaned in and gave her a short hug. They were both smiling, and she must have said something funny because he was suddenly busting up with laughter. I smiled at Judy, not even needing to know what she said; she was just a joyous person that everyone loved.
When she returned, I waited expectantly for her to fill me in, as she always did.
“He’s really worried about the animals, too,” she said.
As I looked around the room, I could feel that everyone was solemn and wondering what they could do.
“He and Julie are going over to the shelter later. He said they would pick me up to tag along.”
“Oh, that will be fun! Tell him to post any news on the church bulletin website so I can see if they adopt anything.” The thought of adopting a pet sent me into flashbacks of the aggressive small dogs my mother always rescued.
“Shall we go to the Bistro?” I changed the subject, taking our minds off the pets. Judy shook her head to my surprise.
“I want to, I really do! I love our lunches. But Pastor Bill and Julie are picking me up at noon, and I need to change my clothes.” She motioned to her lavender polyester pantsuit and shiny beige shoes. She looked adorable in that outfit, but she was right, it was too fancy for rolling around with dog hair.
“Will you be alright?” she asked.
Her concerned look told me she really did worry for me, given that her social life was more active, and it dawned on me then that I relied on her company more than I wanted to.
“Oh, of course!! You know, I was considering going to that pottery cafe.” I had been considering that for the last three years, and now that I’d said it, I had to go or risk being a liar.
“That's wonderful, honey. Make me something pretty.” Judy beamed and we both felt better. Off she went in her shiny gold coupe.
As I climbed into my car, I looked over and saw Samantha sitting in the car next to me with her head in her hands. I was within arm's reach of her passenger-side window, so I tapped on the glass. She looked up, dazed, with tears in her eyes. She smiled at me and rolled down her window.
“Hi there. Can I help you?” She spoke as confidently as she did inside—as if she was still representing her work sitting in a parking lot, crying in her car.
“Oh. I’m good… I just saw you... Are you okay?”
There was a pause while she looked out her windshield, now clear from rain. “It’s just heavy, you know? I feel helpless.”
Looking at Samantha, I felt something tug in my heart.
“I just want them to find homes so that—” her voice caught “—nothing else happens.”
My mind went there—to the alternative, the writing on the wall. I didn’t know what to say, so I chose something generic. “I know they will find homes. Don’t worry, Samantha. You are making a difference.”
She smiled and thanked me, rolling up her window and starting her car. She waved as she drove off, as I still sat in the driver's seat of my car, the door ajar, and so was my jaw. I knew the desperation she felt, though unrelated. I longed for a partner. I longed for love.
But what am I feeling right now? Surely, it was not thedesirefor pet ownership, was it? I just wanted to dosomething.Could I have a pet? Technically, yes. But I had never had one of my own or even considered it. The very idea overwhelmed me. Sure, I grew up with dogs, but my mother had always been the one taking care of them. The deeper I wondered just what my hesitations were, I felt like they all went back to my hopefully near-future husband. What if he was allergic to pets? Or worse, what if he already had a colony of hairless cats he was raising?
At that moment, I had a breakthrough that I hadn’t reached in all the years of my mother's therapy. My life had been on hold while I waited for a husband to come into it, but I’d grown so comfortable with the mundane routine that I wasn’tready to change it.
Wondering about pets I might have one day with my future husband; I pictured something furry but wasn’t sure what it might be. I did like animals, and I always enjoyed seeing them.
I had a friend back home, Ginger, with a cat that she was always gushing over. I recall that the cat was adopted as an adult. They loved it dearly; she sent me a photo the day they brought him home. Things were fine for a week or so. The cat was settling in as far as I knew, but Ginger was a teacher, and when she went back to school in the fall, she found it had startedacting outaround the house. She would come home to wet walls. She thought a pipe had burst in the kitchen, but upon further inspection, she realized it wascat urine.
