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He chuckled, caressing her head and rocking her gently on his lap. "Maybe that's the wrong word. Miserable would be more accurate. Every single day, I'd look at your pictures and remember the smell of your hair, the way you felt in my arms, talking with you as we walked on the beach or hiked. I've missed you more than I ever thought possible. I must've pulled up your number three or four times a day to call, then always chickened out."
Lucy sniffled and wiped her eyes. "I missed you too. But where do you see this going, Mason? What do you want?"
She sat up and frowned at him, a worry line between her forehead.
His breath shuddered. This was his moment. He had to lay it all on the line. Show his cards. Shoot his shot.
"I want to love you until the end of time. I want to wake up with you every morning and cuddle you every night. I want to talk to you, see your face, hear your laugh, and make you happy all the days of my life. I feel like I've known you forever. I love you so much, it's like I've always known you. You're my heart, my whole world."
Lucy's face scrunched up in confusion. "What about your job and protecting the rest of the world? How are you going to do that and be with me? Your job is your everything."
He smiled and cupped her cheeks, peppering kisses on her face. "You're my everything, little bird. I'll find balance between the two somehow. But if push comes to shove, you take priority. Do you want me to quit the Marshals and join the Crimson Creek police force? Because I will, if that's what it takes to be with you."
"What? No, Mason, the Marshals is your dream job. I'd never ask you to give it up."
He kissed her lips softly. "You're so selfless, Lucy. But all I'm asking is if you'll give me the time to see where this takes us. If you'll give us a real, fighting chance to make it. I'd like to marry you someday, but if that's not something you want—"
She looked down and hunched her shoulders. "I'd like to get married someday, and while I don't want you to give up the Marshals, I do have concerns. Long distance relationships don't work out. I might not have ever had a boyfriend, but even I know that."
He stroked the hair away from her face, but still she didn't look at him.
"That's what they say. But long distance might be what we need to get to know each other more. Maybe we need late night phone calls and video chats, real conversations to find out exactly what we are to each other."
She shook her head, a tear falling out of one eye. He reached up and swiped it away, cradling her face in his hands. His chest ached to see her pouting and miserable. He desperately wanted to see her smile and be happy and loved.
"Hey now, it's alright. There won't be that much long distance now that training is over. Sure, I'll have a crazy schedule. But I shouldn't ever be gone five months in a row again. The extent of long distance will probably only be a few days at a time. And only then if I need to spend a few days on protection duty or hunting a fugitive. Is that something you can live with? Just a few days without me?"
Lucy rubbed her temples and sighed. "Mason, I'm not Amanda."
He snorted. "Why are you so fixated on her? You're right. You're not Amanda and thank God for that. Amanda and I would've been yelling at each other by this point in the conversation. But not with you. Contrary to this specific conversation, we've always been able to talk through things. You're different, and we work well together."
She finally looked at him, her brown eyes haunted. "Is that why you're here? Is that why you want to date me? Because we work well together?"
He shook his head. "No, not just that. Shit, I'm fucking this up, aren't I?"
Will called out. "Little bit, yeah."
Caroline giggled, and Ray grumbled, "Y'all are jumping around topics like they're hot potatoes."
Helen just sighed dramatically, but Mason didn't look away from Lucy. He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, trying to gather his thoughts and think rationally. It was hard to do when she was sitting on his lap, distracting him with her beauty and looking so adorable.
"Ok, let me just lay it all out, huh? Let's do this interrogation style with yes no answers. So Amanda wanted me to have a different job, right?"
She narrowed her eyes cautiously and nodded. "Yes," she drew out the syllable.
He continued. "Do you think you can live with my job? The danger, the unpredictability?"
She rolled her eyes and said, "Yes, I'm proud of your hard work and your new job. You're my hero, Mason. Don't you see that? I would never ask you to give up your job. You love it so much and giving it up would make you miserable."
He nodded, sighing as a weight was lifted from his shoulders. He kissed her softly, treasuring her for seeing him for who he really was.
"It would slowly kill me, Lucy. It's part of the reason I was dreading being stuck behind a desk for the Rangers. I need to be out there helping people."
She placed her palm on his chest, and he sucked in a breath at the gentle touch. His hands caressed her back slowly, wrapping her up in the safety of his arms.
Then she smiled, and it was like the sun came out from behind a cloud on a rainy day. That smile gave him hope, and his heart raced.
She said, "Exactly. I admire that about you so much. If we are going to start dating, I need you to talk to me at least once a day, preferably more if you're gone. It's been shit to not talk to you all these months. I think I could handle us being separated if we were still talking. Yes or no. Can you talk to me at least once a day?"
