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She sobbed louder. "It's—it's not this. It's—it's not Malia," she hiccupped. He didn't say anything, just continued his soft movement on her back as the sobs peaked.
She let it out. There was no point in keeping it in any longer. The pain of her childhood, the reminders of her dad, it all came to a head and spilled over.
Her chest hurt as she sobbed. It was hard to catch her breath, and she began to hyperventilate.
Panic set in. She knew what would happen if she continued on this path. She'd black out, and that couldn't happen in the tub. But the more she worried about it happening, the more ragged her breathing became.
Then everything faded.
Chapter 31
Lucy's body went slack, and she slid under the water. He wrapped an arm around her and pushed her up. Her head lolled to the side, her eyes closed and jaw slightly open.
He patted her cheek with his other hand and frowned. "Lucy? Lucy, wake up."
His heart raced as he pulled her out of the bath and grabbed the towel. She started to slip, and he had to do some fancy juggling to keep her safe. Then he strode to the bedroom and laid her down.
He was just reaching for the phone to call for help when her lashes began to flutter. He leaned over her. "Lucy? Are you here?"
She took a deep breath and blinked wide, confusion on her face as she looked at him. "Where else would I be?"
He frowned. "You passed out. I'm not sure if it's a side effect of the drug or—"
She groaned and grabbed her head, then gasped at her nakedness. He tugged on the corner of the towel stuck under her, and she rolled and covered herself, curling into a ball on her side facing him.
She took a few deep breaths and rubbed her nose with a finger. "It—it probably wasn't the drugs. I just panic and then—" She shrugged.
He frowned and sat on the edge of the bed, his hand finding her ankle and just holding her tiny foot. He couldn't stop touching her. He had to reassure himself she was here and well.
She'd been incredibly quiet about the whole ordeal in the hospital and on the way home. He'd expected more outbursts, but the smart ass remarks in the tub meant she wasn't turning off her emotions. He could relate to that all too well. The struggle to process the trauma.
It had taken him months to process Amanda.
She stared blankly ahead, her expression kind of lost. His chest tightened and he stroked her foot. She jerked her foot, and her eyes sharpened as she looked at him. He smiled at her ticklish behavior and tucked the knowledge aside for later.
She shifted and sucked in a breath.
"Lucy?"
She looked up at him, as if he were a lifeline in the ocean. He wanted to protect her, keep her safe. Seeing her laying so pale on the hospital bed haunted him.
"Hm?" she asked, looking at him through those thick lashes. Pink swept her cheeks, and he breathed a sigh of relief. Her color was coming back, which was a good sign. When she'd blanked in the tub, she'd been as pale as she'd been in the hospital.
The blush on her cheeks was a good sign. It gave him hope that this wouldn't be a life-altering experience for her, and she'd go back to her normal perky self eventually.
What were they talking about again?
"You really should go to the doctor about the passing out panic attacks. That's not normal," he said.
She scowled and sat up slightly. "I told you. I've been doing this since middle school when my dad—"
Her eyes glistened as she trailed off, staring at nothing.
He reached forward and brushed the hair away from her face. "Your dad what?" he asked softly, hoping to draw her out as he settled on the pillows next to her and leaned on the headboard.
His chest hurt at the lost expression on her face. He knew that look from years of working with the Rangers. Trauma was trauma, no matter what happened, and her expression was one he'd seen countless times.
He settled on the bed, leaning against the headboard so he could keep stroking her hair.
