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“What are you doing with this?” I only notice Rafaella's presence when she announces herself, by asking.
When I turn my face towards her, I see that in her hands there is another copy of the newspaper and some magazines. It doesn't take me long to understand what happened.
“The Don didn't forget this, did he?” My friend bites her lower lip.
“It's just gossip.”
“What do they say?” I ask, and she doesn't answer me. “Come on, Rafaella! What do they say?” Rafa extends the newspaper and magazines she was holding towards me. I practically rip them out of her hands, but I regret it the second my eyes read the cover of the first magazine.
‘The most expensive company the grape magnate has ever paid for?’
“They're insinuating that I'm a prostitute,” it starts as a murmur, but turns into a dry laugh when I think about the exorbitant amount the other newspaper said my clothes cost.
They have no idea that the pieces covering my body are worth much more than my life. I lower my head and close my eyes, concentrating on putting my heartbeat back in place. It seems like no matter where I go or what life I live, some things don't change. I open my eyes.
“Did you know about it?” I ask Rafaella, hurt feeling my chest. I don't care if they talk. I don't care that the mansion's maids left their gossip magazines behind on purpose, just so I could read them. But I care that Rafaella knew and didn't tell me. “You knew about this and didn't tell me?” On a rare occasion, Rafaella's face flushes.
“I didn't know how to say.”
“You could have just used the words.” She closes her eyes briefly before placing her hands on her hips and running her tongue over her lips.
“Sometimes, Gabriella, I just don't think it's fair on you to bring you even more into our world than you already are.”
“You speak as if I had another option.”
“You have. You have the privilege of being able to simply not know things.” My face smiles, but it's not because I find it funny.
“I will always prefer to face the darkness with my eyes open, Rafaella.” I look down at the newspaper and magazines in my hands. “Even though it doesn't change the fact that I can't see anything.” I pause, looking at her. “You're my friend.” The last words come out quietly.
“I'm sorry,” she says, looking embarrassed after understanding what I meant. I nod before handing her thepapers. Rafaella accepts them. “You should tell the Don.” Now my unwilling laugh is even louder.
“And say what? That the maids are bullying me because they think I'm sleeping with him? I don't think so.”
“Then tell Luigia.” She offers the option and, immediately, the memory of the night the housekeeper brought me to this wing invades my mind.
She told me she was sorry. When I asked why, Luigia didn't answer me, she knew what would happen. She might not have been able to predict the details, but she knew what people would think and she knew there would be nothing she could do to stop it.
“She won't be able to change what people think. It would just be pointless.”
“I'm sorry,” Rafaella says, and I nod.
“Excuse me,” I ask, needing some time alone.
It's a small price to pay, I remind myself, and it makes me think that maybe I should start enjoying the perks more, because I don't know how long they'll last. I don't allow myself to think about it too much. I take my cell phone out of my pocket and stare at the screen, not immediately knowing whether to make a call or send a message.
Finally, I conclude that hearing Vittorio's voice might change my mind. So, I type just the words:
Gabriella:Can I go out?
CHAPTER 32
________
Vittorio Cataneo
Paolo parks the car in front of the house and, as I look through the glass to follow the security inspection, my eyes are drawn to the unusual figure, sitting on the edge of one of the windows on the second floor, on the left side of the mansion, my wing.
Gabriella's eyes are lost somewhere below, she doesn't look at the front of the house nor does she seem to notice that five cars have just parked on the gravel driveway so close to her. The window is closed, so I know she can't hear anything. What is she seeing? That's not the first question I've asked myself about her today.
