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Walker

I am so thankful for Larissa because I honestly don’t know what I would have done without her right now. She has been keeping me as calm as possible as she continues to keep an eye on Littlefoot’s progress, doing her best to keep my beautiful girl comfortable. I have never seen a horse labor so hard before, but I just know that I need to be in here with her because she keeps looking for me. I have my ranch-hands doing the rest of the work around the ranch while I stay in here.

I normally wouldn’t devote myself to be here for as long as I have but with Littlefoot, I know there is no way that I would be able to concentrate out there and make the best decisions for her. If Larissa needs my help, I need to know that I’ll be there to help her. I know that I do need to be someone that she can count on and not just be thinking about myself. I try not to think about it too much because nothing bad has happened yet, but I do want to be in case it does happen.

Larissa is sitting across from me, reading a book that she had brought. Every now and then, she checks on Littlefoot’s progressand decides where we’re going from here. I am so thankful for her; I don’t know how I would ever be able to thank her in the long run for everything she has done for me. So, I decide to just make small talk.

“So, your father called me today.” I murmur, making her look up at me, “I can’t say it was a pleasant conversation because he wants to marry you to one of my sons, but I promise I won’t let him.”

I see the annoyance in her eyes, but she tries to mask it with a smile, “that’s okay, thanks for letting me know. I’m sorry that he has been bothering you so much about me getting married. I don’t know how to keep telling him that I’m just not interested right now in getting married. I want to marry out of love and not just because my father is pushing me to do so.”

I just nod in agreement, feeling for her, “I know. Your father is definitely a stubborn man and can’t take no for an answer.”

“You’re telling me.” She grumbles, giving me a look that definitely tells me she is really annoyed with her father, “you’re lucky that your father just lets you do what you’re going to do because mine wants to dictate everything. I love him, do not get me wrong there but there are times that I can’t stand him, and I wish that he would just leave me the hell alone. He has made it clear time and time again that he does not respect me, and he doesn’t want anything to do with me besides to make my life a living hell. I think that if he started to treat me with more respect, I would be keener on letting us have the relationship that he wants but the other side of me just can’t stand him right now. I know that you had nothing to do with it, but I seriously don’t know why he can’t just let me make my own decision.”

“I completely understand what you mean by that because it wasn’t a conversation that he should have been having with me.” I murmur, hoping that I didn’t just unleash the beast right now, “but I do think that he wasn’t trying to be malicious or evil. I justthink that he believes he knows what is best for you and isn’t going to let anyone else tell him any differently. If it were up to me, I would just tell him how it is and if he doesn’t like it, he can kiss my ass. Either which way, we’re going down a hard road right now and I know that it’s not going to be the path that we need to take right now.”

“I don’t know why he can’t just trust me to make the right decision.” She complains a little bit more, but I don’t mind it because it’s actually quite cute, “I could be the worst kind of girl and he would still end up treating me better than he does now. My sisters were vile and vindictive woman and he told me that I needed to just grow up and learn to live with it but now, he keeps trying to tell me who I can and can’t date. Hell, I could probably date you and he would find some reason to be happy about it because he’s just shipping me off.”

I’m surprised that she would use me as an example, but I have to admit, I’m not complaining, “I think your father has just had it hard and doesn’t really know what he is saying. I wouldn’t take it to heart, Larissa, because in the long run, he’s still your father. I might not agree with his methods, but I do know that he has your best interest in mind. You can trust me there.”

She doesn’t look too sure about that but ends up nodding, “yeah, I know. It’s just frustrating when he just doesn’t trust me. It’s like he thinks that I don’t know how to make a proper decision for myself when I have been doing it for as long as. I can remember. I’d like to think that I’m not going down a bad road right now but it’s becoming clear to me that either which way, we’re going down a path that I’m not so sure we will make it out of.

I reach out without thinking about it and lightly place my hand on hers, making her head jerk up as she stares at me, wide-eyed, “I understand completely what you mean. After what has happened to me, I kind of feel like the world has been turningagainst me and not allowing me to make the right decision. In the long run, the only person that you can end up relying on is yourself and I know you can do it, Larissa, because I have faith in you. We all do. You have done a lot for me and this ranch without asking us to pay and sometimes it does feel like I’m taking advantage of you even though you have offered. You’re just… You’re amazing and whether or not James can see that, don’t ever let it bother you because you just have to know that no one is ever going to look down on you because you’re amazing.”

I have never given a speech like this in my entire life, and it does make me feel a little good about myself. I feel proud almost and when she gazes back at me, I’m unsure of what I’m seeing in her eyes, but it feels great. I just smile softly at her and hope for the best, praying that she doesn’t think too much about it.

The next thing I know, she’s moving closer, straddling my lap as she wraps her arms around my neck. She pulls me closer, making me go incredibly still because I have no idea what is about to happen. The next thing I know, her lips are on mine in a soft, beautiful kiss that has my heart racing.

What the hell?

Chapter Five

Larissa

I could be ruining everything right now, but I seriously can’t bring myself to care. I’m aching for him right now; something having been spurred inside of me to want him even more. I don’t know what kind of power he has had over me, but this man just knows how to push the right buttons, making me think that maybe I had been overthinking when I worried about what he thought of me. It’s obvious to me now that he thinks highly of me, but I don’t know how much. But when I saw his beautiful smile and kind eyes, I couldn’t help but to just kiss him.

Screw the consequences.

Our lips move together in hesitant unison, making me notice that he is kissing me back but he’s not rushing it. His big hands linger on my waist, as if he is debating on pulling me closer or pushing me away. I can’t help but get my hopes up, making me think that maybe he does want me as well. I know that I might be getting my hopes up for nothing and this could end in disaster, but I hope it doesn’t lead to that. I feel this fire brewing inside of me, a tingling sensation that would love to have him buriedinside of me the first chance that we get but I don’t want to sound like a horn dog when I do so. I just hope that he is okay with this.

I lightly grind my hips, making him automatically stiffen at the sudden touch. I just smile to myself, loving every moment of this because I honestly have no idea why I hadn’t done this sooner. It might be a bit crazy but with him not pushing me away, my hopes keep lifting up and I can’t help but want more. I have been wracking through my brain, letting my tongue dance with his, tasting how exotically sweet he is.

Oh fuck, how did I not want more of him? How did I hold myself back?

I press myself against him even more, my nipples brushing against my bra, already painstakingly hard. My breathing is a little erratic, honestly feeling like I could go crazy at any moment. But the next thing I know, he is pushing me away, making me whine with disappointment as I look at him like he had just kicked a puppy.

“Why did you push me away?” I ask him, hoping that I didn’t do anything wrong, “don’t you like this?”

He’s looking at me like I had just grown two heads, “of course I like this but why are you kissing me? I… I don’t quite understand. I didn’t think that I would be your type.”

I just giggle, shaking my head back and forth, “don’t be a dummy, of course you are my type. I have really liked you for years, but you never saw me. Now you have and that makes me want you even more.”

“I am old enough to be your father.” He whispers hoarsely but he isn’t really trying to push me away, “just what are you thinking, Larissa? You do know how much he would try to kill me if he knew what was happening here? You’re a beautiful woman, there is no doubt about that, and I don’t want you to think otherwise but I don’t believe this is a good idea. I don’twant you to get hurt and I have this bad feeling that this would just end up hurting you.”

“It won’t hurt me unless you’re trying to hurt me.” I disagree with him, smiling softly at him and hoping that he can see on my face just how much I mean that, “I really like you, Walker, I always have, and I don’t give a damn what anyone says about it. If they have a problem with it, then they can just kiss my ass because I’m tired of doing everything that everyone else wants me to do. I want to do this for ME and me alone. Will you have me, Walker?”

He's just staring at me now as if he is trying to process everything that I’m saying. I know there’s likely the chance that he won’t want anything to do with me since our relationship has solely been based off a mutual respect and connection for one another. It did end up driving me crazy every time that he would talk to me the way he would because I just knew that if I didn’t do something now, I was surely going to regret letting him walk away from me and I can’t have that. No, I can’t have it one bit and I’m going to make sure that he knows it as well.

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