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I hesitated for a moment, hovering my fingers over the keyboard. I couldn’t let this go, not when I’d been putting everything into it. Either I pointed out his mistake and made him look stupid, or I didn’t and allowed myself to look stupid. Lose-lose. I took some deep breaths, trying to remember the meditation videos I listened to on YouTube whenever I was particularly anxious. They were usually about letting the calm of the universe wash away my bullshit or something. No dice. Some people ran away from confrontation, and those people baffled me. I had never been one to talk behind someone’s back; I would much rather talk directly to their face. In this case, I’d rather just tell my boss straight up that he was wrong. But that was exactly what had gotten me transferred to Melvin’s team in the first place.
I fired off a quick text to Heidi.New manager called us all idiots in an email. He said we’re all on notice because he can’t do simple math.
Uh-oh, she wrote back immediately.Watch your step.
It’s not like I have a future on this team either, I texted back.
That’s the spirit!she responded.Your positivity is inspiring. Keep your job, k?
I drained my cup of coffee and debated. Maybe it was the sight of my drool puddle on the desk that was the deciding factor. “I wish your name really was Hamster,” I muttered, then squared my shoulders and hit thereplybutton. I was careful not to include the entire team.
From: Indiana Aaron
To: Melvin Hammer
Re: New Reporting Tool
Mr. Hammer:
Thank you for your email. I appreciate you reaching out and would like to reassure you that the team’s goals have been met, even exceeded. This software is some of the best our company has produced, and I’m very proud of my part in it. The formulas in the database you sent are incomplete, likely due to an Excel error. I have corrected them and attached the new version to this email. Please feel free to follow up if you have any questions or concerns.
Best,
Indiana Aaron
Developer
Remote-Based NY Team
I read it over a few times, making sure not to imply guilt.Welp, here goes nothing, I thought, and hitsend. I’d probably get transferred again or fired, butsomeonehad to point out where the real problem was. Right? And, weirdly, again, that job seemed to fall to me.
I half-assed my work and tried to chill for the rest of the morning, waiting for a call. It didn’t come.
At about three in the afternoon, a message appeared in my inbox from a Mr. Melvin Hammer, and my heart skipped a beat.
From: Melvin Hammer
To: Entire Team
Re: New Reporting Tool
Hi Team,
I wanted to circle back after my last message to you this morning. It has been brought to my attention that any possible issues with our progress were due to mathematical errors and not on the part of the developers. Indiana Aaron clarified the situation and has also showed me that the team has in fact exceeded its monthly goal. You can all thank Mr. Aaron and log out early this afternoon to get a head start on your weekend.
All best,
Melvin Hammer
Manager, Artemis Team
I blinked. Well,thatwas unexpected. Relief washed over me. He’d called meMr., but there was no way I was correcting him more than once in one day. I’d let it slide for now. There was still a possibility that Melvin was being shady and would hold it against me privately despite his email, but that was a problem for future me. I grinned at the unexpected extra time and logged out of the database. I grabbed my phone and texted Patrick.
Schools out! “Mr. Aaron” corrected the boss and we got the afternoon off.
Is that you? Haven’t you learned not to correct your boss?he wrote back.Also, I can’t be friends with someone who talks about themselves in the third person.
Yes it’s me. And Ana would like to think our friendship is stronger than third person rhetoric.
