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Austin stares off, and I go still.
I’m not at all used to people opening up to me. No one does it on Celestus. Why would they when I’d likely just insult them and make them feel awful?
I’d already done it with Austin. And yet…
“The doctors couldn't understand why none of the meds they gave me worked. Tranquilizers wore off in less than an hour. None of the mood stabilizers helped at all. Because nobody knew that what I needed was a pack. What I needed was to learn how to shift.”
I swallow against the hardening of my throat, eyes cast to the table.
“No. Don't do that. Don't you pity me. I don't want that. I'm telling you because you need to understand.” He flexes his hands before squeezing them into tight fists. “Today it’s Axe. Yesterday Enzo’s scent was all over you, and he’s the worst of them.” He stares at me, nose twitching and again judging whether he should continue.
He pulls a hand through his hair and glues his eyes to the table. “I can also scent how they affect your body.”
I curl my lip at the admission. “Damnit, Austin. Why are you sharing this?”
Austin shrugs. “It not something I can turn off, Dove. And I’m telling you because I know firsthand how dangerous they are.”
Despite the pit of discomfort wriggling in my belly, I don’t urge him for more.
“Trust me, Dove. They did some really awful shit to me our first year. Just keep your distance. I don’t know how demon mating stuff works, and I’m guessing you don’t either, given your upbringing. I’d hate to see them take advantage of the new demon girl just because she doesn’t know about her culture.”
He takes another breath, shrugs several times, and shakes his head.
“They will hurt you, Dove. And they’ll have fun doing it.”
I believe Austin, wholly. But I can’t make any promises where those demons are concerned. “I won’t get caught up with them any more than I have to.”
I fully mean that, although I have the feeling that how much I need to get tangled up with Axe and Enzo and the other heirs is far more than Austin suspects.
“Good. The packs and the demons are pretty evenly matched. I’m not trying to get my ass kicked because you didn’t stay away from them, Dove. Got it?”
My brain itches, and I clamp my tongue between my teeth.
Austin rolls his eyes. “I can see you’re trying hard to not say something. Better just say it before you explode.”
I stare at him, the words almost wiped from my tongue.
Almost.
No one has ever said that to me. When I get the benefit of a warning, plenty have seen me struggle to keep my mouth in check, but no one’s given me permission to just say it and get it over with.
Not even Sera.
It feels…
I don’t know how it feels, but the words fly out of my mouth. “I have to get close enough to get what I need.”
OK, that could have been worse.
Austin eyes me, scrutinizing my expression. “And what do you need?”
His question gives me another brain itch, likely one that will do way more damage than the first one. I bite the sides of my tongue, curling the tip backward for good measure.
“Jeez, Dove, just say it. You look like you’re about to burst.
My tongue unfurls, likely about to tell him why I’m here and who I am. As I open my mouth, I have a wild thought.
“I need to get my hands on their private real estate, if you catch my drift.”
