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“It just didn’t work out, okay?” he hisses, and then before I can even begin to comprehend what is going on, he’s standing up and walking away, his arms wrapped around himself and his head hung low.
“Cooper!” I call after him, jumping to my feet as quickly as I can and grabbing both our shoes. I run after him through the sand. “Cooper, wait!” But Cooper doesn’t wait. He keeps walking until I catch up with him and grab his arm. “Cooper, stop,” I say, out of breath.
Cooper turns to face me, and his dark eyes are filled with so much emotion my breath leaves me again. His whole body radiates grief, anger, and, if I’m reading him right, guilt, and shame. My heart shatters.
“Cooper, I didn’t mean...” I start. “I’m sorry.”
There’s a pause. Cooper doesn’t speak, so I speak again. “Look, I want you to talk to me, about anything, and everything, you know that. I hate that you are hurting and upset and I don’t know why, and I hate even more that the thing you wanted so badly and worked so hard for didn’t happen. But if you aren’t ready to talk about it, then that’s fine, too. I’m here when you are ready.” I stand on my tiptoes and press a kiss to his cheek. “I love you,” I say softly, running my fingers along the nape of his neck. “Always. No matter what. And there’s nothing you could say or do that will change that.”
Cooper sighs and leans into me. It makes me happy because I feel like he’s letting me bear his weight, his burden, whatever it is, in whatever way I can. “I’m sorry,” he says. “I didn’t mean to shout at you. I just...”
“It’s okay,” I say.
“No, it isn’t,” he replies.
“I mean, I forgive you.”
Cooper reaches down and tentatively takes my hand. “Can we maybe go home and get a nap in before dinner?” he asks. “I’m beat, and curling up with you in bed sounds pretty great right now.”
I smile. “Sure.”
And that’s exactly what we do.
That evening we gather around the fire pit in the back yard with the rest of the family, roasting marshmallows and making s’mores, laughing and sharing stories.
“You convinced him to jump off the roof?” Macy asks, looking at my brother with bemusement. “Why doesn’t that surprise me?”
Derick shrugs, smiling. “It didn’t take much convincing. I just told him he could fly because he was Superman. Not my fault the kid listens to me.”
“No, but it was your fault he broke his arm,” my mom chimes in with fake sternness. “You should have seen Wes in his cape, though,” she adds, turning to Macy and smiling. “He was adorable.”
“I bet he was,” Cooper says, giving me a big grin, and a wink, and I’m sure my face is bright red, but I can’t keep the smile off my face as I reach over with my foot and kick him.
“You two kept us on our toes, that’s for sure,” Dad says. “You and your sister. Good thing we had Cooper there to keep you in line.”
“Oh, right,” Derick scoffs. “Cooper was the one who started the food fight that destroyed the kitchen and took us three hours to clean up.”
“Oh, you’re just mad because I got mashed potatoes and gravy in your beautiful hair,” Cooper teases, reaching over and ruffling Derick’s dark locks. “You should be thanking me, I think they helped.”
Derick shoves him away and we all laugh.
“Wesley?” Mom says as the stories and laughter die down. “Why don’t you play your guitar for us, sweetie? And maybe sing a little?” She grins at me.
“Oh, I can’t,” I say, as everyone else chimes in with approval. “I didn’t even bring it.”
“Lucky for you, I brought one,” she says, a quirk to her lips.
“Mom, it’s been forever since I picked up a guitar,” I groan, as she moves inside. Moments later she is back out, carrying the guitar over and handing it to me, along with a pick.
“Play something nice,” she says, patting me on the shoulder, and then sits back down, looking at me expectantly, along with Dad, Derick, Macy, Natalie, and Cooper, who gives me another wink.
I take a deep breath, resting the guitar on my leg, and begin to strum. And as I do, I look at Cooper, and then I sing. The words from “Heaven” by Bryan Adams. It’s one of my favorites, and one that means even more to me, now that I have Cooper back in my life.
I hear Cooper’s hitched breath as the words leave my lips, and see his eyes widen in a way that says ‘what are you doing?’ I smile and keep singing as he shifts in his seat.
After the second verse Cooper has tears sliding down his cheeks, and he mouths the words ‘fuck you.’ I smile and keep singing.
By the time I’ve finished the third verse, Cooper is wiping tears from his eyes and his chest is heaving slightly. The light of the fire lights up his handsome face, and makes his chocolate brown eyes glow. His tears glimmer. I don’t know if I’ve ever felt more in love with him, seeing his emotions so evident on his face as he listens to me. I’ve never meant these words more. He’s everything to me. Everything I want, everything I need. And I hope I convey that with this song. How much he means to me. How much I need him, how wonderful it is to have him in mylife again. How amazing he makes me feel. How I’ll always be there for him, no matter what. My beautiful, wonderful, amazing Cooper.
