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WESLEY
It’s been a week since Cooper showed up at my doorstep, looking stressed and exhausted. His hair a mess and bags under his eyes, a crease on his cheek from the book he’d fallen asleep on, and he looked pale. I was worried about him. I still am. There was no way I was going to ask Cooper to take me out in his condition. The guy is barely functioning. What he needs is sleep. And even though our anniversary date hadn’t happened, I could tell Cooper felt terrible, and was trying so hard to make things work. I was disappointed when he didn’t show up for our date, but honestly I was more concerned than anything. He’s been burning the candle at both ends for a long time, and it’s just not working, so I did the only thing I knew I could do to make sure he got more rest, more time for the homework he needed to get done, and wouldn’t have to worry about feeling guilty when he couldn’t show up for me. That’s the last thing I want. He’s everything to me and I just want to make sure he reaches his goals. If that means less dates for us in the short term, I’ll handle it, and we can pick them up again after things settle down a bit.
He’s been quiet since then, though. He hasn’t communicated much at all with me the past week, outside of texts, and even that has been minimal. I’ve been trying to tell myself it’s because he’s busy, but it feels different than normal. His texts have been short and to the point, and they only ever come after I’ve texted him first. He hasn’t reached out to me at all. That’s just not like him. Even when he’s busy he at least sends me a message that says he misses me, or that he loves me, or some type of heart emoji or something to let me know he is thinking of me. But the whole week has gone by without anything, andI’ve been trying not to let my anxiety get the better of me. I hope he’s okay.
“Hey, Wesley, can we talk?” I hear his voice behind me as I’m standing at my locker, and I turn. Shit. He looks wrecked. Something tells me this isn’t going to be a good conversation, and combined with the inflection in his voice and the way things have gone the past week, I’m starting to panic. My heart rate picks up and I swallow.
“Okay,” I say quietly, and shut my locker, before following Cooper to a bench outside where we sit, our backpacks between us.
“Look, I uh,” Cooper starts running his fingers through his hair, and his eyes won’t meet mine. I can feel my throat closing up and my chest constricting. With each word he speaks the nausea starts to build and my head spins. “You know things have been kind of crazy for me lately, and well...I just...with everything going on, and with how full my schedule is, and looking at the future, I think it’s best if we break up, give you a chance to find someone better suited for you.”
Fuck, I can’t breathe. I don’t know if I am more hurt, angry, or confused. What the fuck is going on? Cooper wants to dump me? Now, after everything? And he’s making it sound like it’s some kind of gift? Like he is doing me a fucking favor instead of tossing me aside like we haven’t just spent the last three years together? Like we haven’t spent a lifetime together? Slept together, confessed our love for each other a million times and talked about a future together? I sit there, silent for what seems like an eternity, before Cooper speaks again.
“Wes?”
“Yeah,” I say, clearing my throat. I do my best to make sure my voice doesn’t sound as wrecked as I feel. “Sounds good, Coop.” I don’t want to be with someone who clearly doesn’twant to be with me. I am not going to cry. I’m not going to beg, or plead, or grovel. I’m better than that.
I get up and walk away. I make it to my car before I break down, sobbing.
And even though we have four more weeks of high school left after that, that’s the last time I ever speak to Cooper.
CHAPTER 13
WESLEY
“I don’t want this trip to end,” I say softly as we lay together that night, holding hands across the bed.
Cooper gives me a soft smile and strokes my cheek. My eyes flutter closed at his touch. “Neither do I, my love,” he says. “Neither do I.”
But it does end, and three days later we are hugging everyone else goodbye as Cooper, Natalie, and I pile into my car and head back home. I stop in front of Cooper’s apartment with a hollowness in my chest I can’t suppress. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I am having the hardest time ever saying goodbye and letting Cooper walk away. As if I do, I might never see him again. As if the last week might not have really happened and I will wake up to find that it has all been a dream. That I don’t actually have him back.
Natalie steps inside to give us some privacy, which I am immensely grateful for because I’ve suddenly become a blubbering mess. Tears sting my eyes and I cling to Cooper’s hips with what might be considered a death grip.
“I don’t want this,” I say. “I don’t want to go back to normal. Work, and real life, and never knowing when I’m going to see you next. I just got you back. It’s like I’m losing you again. I’m…I’m terrified to let you go.”
I move my hands to wrap around his neck and he picks me up. My legs circle around his waist as tears slide down my cheeks. I feel foolish and ridiculous, but I can’t help it. His nose nuzzles my ear. “I don’t want to go back to normal either,” he says, softly, and I feel his stubble scraping against my cheek before he pulls back and looks me in the eyes. “I won’t lie, I’ll be working a lot. I have to make ends meet around here, but I will make time for us. As much as I can. I promise. And I’ll call and text you. I swear. I’ll do everything I can to make this work. I can’t lose you again.”
I nod and kiss him deeply. “I could stay and just let you carry me around wherever you go. You know, like a little dog in your purse, kind of thing. I’m so small no one would even notice,” I tease, wiping at my tears.
He smiles. “I would totally go for that,” he replies, “if you were a dog, and I had a purse.”
I smirk at him. “This conversation just got really weird.”
He chuckles and presses a kiss to my nose before setting me on the floor again. I hate it. Not being in his arms, but I know I need to go. I tell myself that it’s going to be okay, that I will see him soon. Then I give him one last kiss before I head back to my car and drive away.
I haven’t been home for more than two minutes, and have barely kicked off my shoes when my phone buzzes. I can’t help smiling when I see that it’s a text from Cooper.
Cooper: Missing you already, baby
Me: Missing you more
Cooper: I’m exhausted and so is mom, but she said we looked like love-struck idiots saying goodbye and it was the most pitiful thing ever, and I should have you over for dinner tonight since I don’t go back to work til tomorrow
Ilaugh and wipe tears from my eyes. Natalie is wonderful and hilarious. There’s a pang in my chest when I think of her, the love she has for Cooper, for us. I can’t imagine how hard it will be for him when she’s gone.
Me: Are you sure?
Cooper: Yes, I’m sure. I just need a nap first. But I want to see you
