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“Hey, you okay?” I ask, setting the bag of chicken down and stepping towards him.
“Yeah, of course,” he lies. He tries for another smile but it’s not convincing. I’ve known this guy way too long to not be aware when he’s trying to hide something that’s bothering him.
“Talk to me,” I say, stepping closer still and resting my hands on his chest. My eyes widen when his start to fill with tears. Shit. “Babe, is it your mom?” I say. He shakes his head and wipes at his eyes.
“What then? You know you can tell me anything. Did I do or say something to upset you?” He shakes his head again, more forcefully. His chest rises under my hands as he sucks in a breath.
“God, I hate crying,” he says. “I feel like such an idiot.”
“Hey,” I say, “look at me.” He does, and I kiss him softly. “Tears are never wrong.” I stroke my fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck. His eyes close and he rests his forehead against mine. He’s trembling.
“Cooper.” I’m aching for him. “Please talk to me.”
“I think I might have had a panic attack before you got here,” he says. He’s gripping my hips so tightly I’m pretty sure there will be bruises, but I don’t ask him to stop. If it helps him stay grounded, I can live with a few bruises.
“What do you mean?” I slide my hands up and down his arms.
“I’m such a fucking screw up, Wes,” he says, and my heart rate spikes. I shake my head. “I almost didn’t ask you to come over after my mom suggested it because I was so ashamed ofletting you see our apartment. It’s such a dump. And I hate that I can’t take you out, but I just can’t spend the money right now, and I didn’t want you to pay for it again, so I didn’t want to suggest it. I thought of getting together at your place, but the idea of leaving my mom alone made me sick, especially if it was just to save face in front of you. And I couldn’t keep that up forever anyway. I had to let you visit me here at some point. But I’m so embarrassed at what a poor job I’m doing of taking care of my mom, and I got so worked up over everything that I almost canceled on you, but I didn’t want to hurt you or have you angry with me. It was all I could do to shower and dress. And now I’m having you cook dinner for me in my own home and I feel like such an asshole.”
“Baby,” I whisper. “Fuck, I’m so sorry you had to go through all that.” His shaking subsides at my words and he relaxes as my arms wrap around him. “It’s okay,” I say as he sniffles. “You’re okay.” God, Cooper. My Cooper. I hate seeing him broken like this. I want his smiles and laughter back, his teasing grins and his bright, warm eyes. “Please don’t worry. I don’t mind cooking for us. You know I love cooking, and I should have thought of how much you hate it, and your mom being sick. I could have brought something and you wouldn’t have had to worry about any of this. You have so much going on, baby. I want to be here for you. If me making dinner tonight is going to make your life easier, I’m honored to do that.”
Cooper lifts his head and my chest clenches when I see the tears drying on his cheeks. I reach up and wipe them away, and he gives me a soft smile that I know is genuine this time.
“Thank you,” he says, stroking my cheek in return. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”
“Nothing,” I say. “And you’ll never have to. I’m just here, because you’re you. And I love you.”
He chuckles and wipes away more tears. “Shut up or you’ll make me cry more,” he says.
I smile. “For the record, you have nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about. You are doing the very best you can in really difficult circumstances, and you are doing an amazing job. You don’t have to have a fancy apartment to impress me. I just want you. You are the best person I know, Coop.”
He tenses and his gaze shifts away from me, but before I can ask what’s wrong again, his phone rings.
“Oh, it’s Riley.” A smile spreads across his face as he answers it and puts it on speaker phone.
“Hey, Riles, what’s up?” he asks, leaning over the counter.
“Hey, Coop,” she says, a smile in her voice. Then her tone becomes more serious and I’m covering my mouth to keep from laughing as she continues. “How are you? You’re back, right? From the week with Wesley’s family? Did you survive? Wesley wasn’t a total prick was he? I’m so sorry you had to do that. Please don’t hate me. I just really thought you guys could help each other out –”
“Hey, Riley,” I say, smiling as I look at Cooper, and we both chuckle.
She screams and there’s the sound of brakes squealing and a car horn honking. “Fuck, Wesley?”
Shit. I didn’t know she was driving.
“Yeah, it’s me,” I say, grimacing.
“Well, thank you for telling me you were there and that I was on fucking speakerphone, assholes. You almost killed me.”
“Sorry,” Cooper says. “You okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” she grouses, and then, “wait, Wesley is there? With you? You guys are together, in the same place, when you don’t have to be?” Her voice is rising in anticipation and we laugh again.
“Yes, Riley, we’re in the same place of our own free will. No one bound and gagged us or paid us,” Cooper says.
“Oh my god.” Riley sounds breathless and on the edge of her seat. “Please don’t be messing with me. Are you guys? I mean, did you...?”
“We’re back together,” I say, and she squeals so loudly we both cover our ears before we hear, “Hey, fuck you, asshole, my best friends just got back together after a fucking decade so excuse me for getting a little distracted.”
