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He finally smiles a bit. “If I could, I would, Ms. Chahal.”
“Not even if I get super bratty and push you into it?”
He chuckles. Thank god.
“Pity, it’s worked with other activities before,” I joke, trying even harder.
All is not lost. We have some days left. There is a chance to be light again, and for a second, that’s all I want. But then Huan gives me something way more valuable. He gives me his faith.
“I believe in you, Komal,” he says. “You know your relationship with your mother best. And you know yourself best. All I know is”—he bumps his shoulder into mine, trying to be casual, which sucks—“you are capable, stubborn, and deeply calculating in the best way. You deserve everything, so figure out a way to give yourself everything. We can workshop it, too. I don't know. Pretend to have the conversation with me. Use me.”
Use me.
Those words sound a lot like,I'm here supporting you.
Tears prick my eyes. I furiously scrub at them with alarm, wiping away their existence. “Allergies,” I tell Huan before he gets carried away and thinks I’m gooey for his words, even though I am.
“Looks like you need a tissue,” he says. “A lot of them.”
I poke his arm. “Watch it or I’ll makeyoucry!”
“Make me cry… Is this your way of confessing a new kink to me? Have you got some more desires you wish to explore?”
“In your wildest dreams, Huan Li.”
He softly presses his shoulder against mine. “Rest assured, you always feature in those, Komal Chahal.”
I lean into it. “Don't you mean nightmares?”
“Of course. You are quite terrifying.”
“Grr.”
“Frightening.”
And just like that, we are back. It feels comfortable—and I don’t want to be out here where I have to worry and watch around me. I want it to be only us again.
“Let’s go back to the hostel,” I tell him. “I wish to demonstrate my feelings for you.”
“Are you promising there will be a performance?”
“Depends. How well do you tip the performer?”
“In my experience, my performer is never satisfied by just the tip.”
I’m fighting back a laugh. “You are the worst.”
“I thought you said once that I was perfect.”
In my head I think,You are.
Out loud, I say, “You’ve got memory issues, Mr. Li.”
TWENTY-SIX
Turns out we don’t have multiple days left in London. The next night was our last, and I didn’t know it. But before any of that happens, we are in our hostel room.
Huan backs me into the wall as his lips consume the side of my neck. The spot is erogenous fire, and I’ve got no idea how he knows. But if I had to guess, I would say during one of our earlier sessions, a thumb there made me gasp. Or his tongue. Or, really, any part of him.
