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“Well come on, Sweets. Destruction desires to be rained down on our victims.” I took her hand. “Let’s hunt some LoveBubblers.”
Episode 8: Pedigree
“Daniel.”
I slammed my hand on Dan’s desk, sending a crack through the center of it so intensely that the man gulped and went rolling back in his swivel chair.
“Oh good god!”
“No. Not god. It’s me. Prince of Vamp—”
“You broke my desk!”
“Don’t obsess over pointless things, Daniel. I have questions.”
“My phone, my keyboard, my coffee, my—”
“Are you a hacker, Daniel?”
He blinked bland blue eyes at me. “W-what?”
“A hacker. Do you hack? Have you hacked? Will you be hacking?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about!”
He bent over in his chair to begin gathering his piteous office supplies and I pointed.
“Give me that stapler, Daniel.”
“This stapler?”
I glared at him. “The only stapler...in your hand.”
With a tremor, he placed the device in my open palm.
I flipped it in my hand. “Did you know that I love putting little holes in things? Hm? I do it all day. I’ve been doing it for a thousand years. And if you don’t confess what you know, Daniel...I’ll take this simple little stapler to your simple little forehead. Now do you understand?”
Dan, wide-eyed behind his glasses, inhaled slowly. “...No?”
He knows nothing. I straightened abruptly and left his cubicle. “I’m keeping the stapler.”
In the file room, I leaned against the door frame. “So far, no culprit, Sweets.”
“Same on my end. Though I made someone named Mario cry over his hot pocket in the breakroom.”
“Mario would have cried in the breakroom whether you were there or not.”
“Really?”
“He cries every day. At 2:13 sharp.”
“Why? No. Don’t tell me.”
“I’ve never been curious enough to find out.”
“Well...it’s not fucking Mario. And it’s no one else on my list.”
“Same.”
