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I jolted to a stop, not used to my father calling out to me like that. Rayla turned at the door, silently asking with her eyes if I wanted her to stay. Warmth spread through my chest at the thought that I had someone to count on like this now. Giving her a small shake, I was confident that I would be fine on my own. She blew me a kiss before closing the door.
I swiveled around in time to see my father use his earth magic to make a chess board.
“You remember how to play this, right? It has been a long time since we have played, but I hope you have been keeping your mind sharp.” I didn't give any indication that his words had any effect on me, except for lifting my eyes slowly to his and raising one eyebrow. Who did he think he was talking to? He was the one that was out of commission for most of my teens and early twenties. He was the one that needed some brushing up.
He shoved the black pieces to me, and we racked up the game. I didn't know what his angle was, but I was now curious to find out. Did he want to run more of the lab projects? Maybe I could convince him to take the Houston Texas lab, while I took the Las Vegas lab. This way, we both could still work to our heartscontent but not be in each other's way. It seemed like a fair compromise. Also, Vegas had the newer tools.
Before I could even broach the subject, we had already set up the game, and he went first. White pawn to E4. I didn't want to fall behind, so I moved my black pawn to E5.
“You know why chess is the superior game?” I didn't answer, knowing he would do that himself. “I like that it shows you a man's character, not only about what they are willing to risk, but who they are willing to trust. Have they stacked themself up right? Relying on the right pieces. And what are they willing to sacrifice for the greater good? It's all valuable information on an opponent.” He moved a pawn to A3.
I nodded, calculating all the available moves in my head for the best outcome. I lifted my hand, fingers just about to touch my bishop to make my move when words I never thought I would hear spilled from my father's lips.
“I'm sorry, Falcon.” Raising my head slowly I didn't know what to think. Was this a trick? A ploy to win the game? To teach me a lesson? The sincerity in his eyes made me pause my thoughts, confusing me. When was the last time I saw warmth in my father’s gaze? Something other than calculation? The only time I could think of was before my mother died.
“I . . . .” I didn't know what to say. My hand fell on the table in front of me, my insides shifted at the now awkward situation, but I was at a loss for words.
My father looked down at the board quickly, eyes scanning, looking for something to do even when it was my turn, still. That's how I knew he was uncomfortable, too.
His voice grew heavy and low, filled with regret and sorrow. “You know your mother was my other half, my neutralizer. What they don't tell you is that once you bond, that internal string that holds you together never goes away, only remains dormant and gray. Always reminding you of what you lost, that you are not whole.” He lifted his hand, rubbing his chest like he felt it now.
It was hard for me not to feel a shred of sympathy, now that I had my own mate and bond. I know that if Rayla was gone, I would probably go crazy, feeling like this world wasn't meant for me anymore. That's how deep it went. She was too far burrowed underneath my cold exterior and entwined with my soul. It felt like she was meant to be there forever . . . and to think of that being suddenly stripped away from me . . . I could now understand his eternal grief.
My thoughts drifted to the four others, her other mates, and I knew that those bastards wouldn't let me do anything drastic. They would bug me to the ends of the earth, never giving me peace. My mind drifted further . . . but what if we had children? I could never shut my children out. They would be the only pieces of her I had left. The only pieces we had left.
“Then whenever I would look at you, I would see her face, a constant reminder that I failed. I failed my mate, my family. I . . . .” He looked away, shame clouded his face as he whispered, “I was useless. Even with all the smarts in the world, I was still nothing. So, I succumbed to my depression. I felt like that wasall that I was worth. To live in misery, reminded of how much of a wasted being I was . . . but then you got your powers, her flame.”
He took a deep breath, turned back toward me, eyes glistening as he confessed, “And I thought that I could start over. I might not be the father I would be with your mother by my side, but I could at least teach you to be an adult, to keep her flame alive, but by the time I was ready, you didn't need or want anything from me. I felt the best thing was for me to not stand in your way and let things run their course, watching you from a distance.”
Confessions and feelings were not my thing, but I couldn't hold back my tongue as everything I had buried deep under the snow of my cold heart came forward. “I may not have needed you, may have resented you, but deep down, I always wanted you around. I already lost one loving parent; I didn't need to lose another . . . even if he wasn't ideal.”
A sad laugh came from my father, and I was again stunned. Who was this man and what did he do with my father? And why did I not hate it?
“It's your turn.” He reminded me and I scanned the board again, making sure my next move was the one I wanted to make. I wanted to show my father that I knew where my place was in this world and who my strongest player was. I moved my queen out to H5, the right side of the board.
He stared at my queen, his eyes losing focus. "Seeing you and Rayla, I think I know where I went wrong. Made the wrongmove." His eyes lifted to mine. "See, Syris, Manic, and I chose to keep our wives out of the business. All of us for different reasons, but for me, I just wanted to protect your mother from all of this."
He fingered his knight as he continued. "I wanted her to be perched up so high, wanting for nothing. To be the soft, bright innocence to my cold, calculating ruthlessness, but now I realize it was just a pretty cage. One that set us both up for failure."
He moved it out, trying to prepare a defense against my queen, but the damage was already done. I slid my bishop out to the left of my pawn, giving my queen some backup, insurance for if he tried something roguish.
His voice dropped low, “Protecting your queen, I see. Didn't we just have this conversation?” He moved his other knight out, setting it up to take my queen in the next move, but there wasn't going to be one.
“No. He,” I threw my chin at the bishop, “was to grab your attention as well as have the queen's back.” I picked up the queen and moved her to F7, taking his pawn as I called out, “Checkmate.” He blinked, looked over the board again.
“The queen is your most powerful piece. She can strike and defend, she can win the whole game for you without you even touching your king, but she is the one most attacked. So, it's simple, you don't keep your strongest piece in the background just because it can get taken, no. You provide the best backup possible so that if she needed help, you had a piece ready.” Ileaned back, folding my arms against my chest with a cocksure smile.
My father stuck his hand out, and I just looked at it. What did he want me to do with that?
“The better man won today. I'm glad it was my son. I don't think I could handle losing to anyone else. At least you have the Winstale name.” His normal sure-of-himself attitude was back, but his eyes were smiling at me, and I knew that my father was changing.
I don't know if it's because we left Houston, where my mother’s home was, or if it's him hanging out with his friends again, but for once, I didn't feel the weight of the Winstale name all on my own.
“What’s he doing? Is he fucking okay?”
Lex’s voice snapped me out of my memory, and I glanced down at the board in front of me. “I’m fine. Just give me a minute to think.” I felt my eyes shift as I noticed that while most of these pieces were not in the same spot as before, one of the pieces had triggered my memory for a reason. The piece was set up exactly in the spot that I had won with. The queen.
My fingers twitched, wanting to move the piece in the winning spot, but they were all glued down in place . . . right?
