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“He doesn’t destroy his past like that.” Her voice sounded as hollow as the chamber that had opened up in her belly. Dull, winding shock was beginning to fill it.
She’d seen poorer areas than this. But this washis. Where his roots had been laid, where he’d grown up. This secret part of him had never been meant for her eyes, and now that she was seeing it, she felt hulled out and lightheaded.
“No, he clings to it. No matter how much it hurts him.”
“Like he’s clung to you?”
He didn’t spare her a glance. “Ready to go in?”
“Yes.” She grabbed the handle and got out into a light misting rain.
Figured. It never rained in Southern California, except when it poured. That would start any time now. She could hear distant thunder crackling in the sky.
Though that could’ve just been her nerves.
A quick look around revealed Nick’s beat-up sedan tucked against the curb farther up the block, right behind Ricki’s rusted out pickup truck. He’d offered to buy his sister a new one so many times, but she’d refused.
So they drove equally rundown vehicles, in spite of being able to afford any model they wanted. Well, Nick could afford it, which meant Ricki could as well.
“Come on,” Simon said, hunching the collar of his jacket against the rain as he strode up the uneven sidewalk. She followed, slipping her hands into the pockets of her suit jacket. She hadn’t taken the time to change, and her pale yellow suit fit in here about as well as the sun in the middle of the night.
Shedidn’t fit, and she had a feeling Nick would be booting her out in no time flat.
They climbed the short flight of steps and walked across a porch with more than a couple of rickety boards. Simon reached out to steady her when her heel notched in a gap between the wood before opening the screen door and rapping twice on the door inside.
It took approximately thirty seconds for Nick to yank the door open and glare out at Simon. He didn’t even appear to see her. “What do you want? I told you not to come.”
“Yeah, well, luckily I don’t listen to you.” Simon stepped aside and gestured to Lila. “Though I don’t understand why, she loves you and she’s worried about you, and since apparently you never bothered to tell her where you grew up, she called me. Are you going to shout at her too?”
He glanced at her and his expression softened for such a brief moment she almost thought she’d imagined it. Then his amber eyes hardened like a chunk of some priceless mineral that couldn’t be corroded by time or the sharpest implement. Completely immovable. “My sister’s finally sleeping, and I don’t intend to argue with you tonight.”
“So argue with me instead.” Lila nudged Simon aside and laid her hand on Nick’s chest, intending to shove him into the room if she had to. But he gave way easily and let her pass. Not so with Simon, however.
His arm came up to block the door. “I haven’t needed you for the last seven months. I sure don’t need you now.”
“Glad to hear it, but guess what?” Simon smiled thinly. “Not leaving. So unless you want to wake up Ricki and all the neighbors, you’ll move that arm and let me inside.”
She expected him to argue more. It was Nick’s way under the best of circumstances, and this was far from that. Instead he just moved out of the door and stalked into the narrow, cramped living room. He aimed directly for a short glass that contained clear liquid on the coffee table and knocked it back in one swallow.
“My dad liked whiskey.” He slammed the glass back down, his gaze remaining squarely on Lila. “Now that’s two things you didn’t know about me. How bad of a shithole I grew up in and that the closest I can get to him on the night he died is to get fucking lit on his drink of choice.”
She gasped. Simply couldn’t help it. Questions sprang to her mind but somehow she kept them off her tongue. Like why hadn’t he told her, if in the note if not via phone call? Why hadn’t he leaned on her, just a little?
Why was anger always his default, no matter what?
Somehow she resisted asking them though. She moved toward him, hesitating only a second before she slid her arms around his waist and pressed her face into his neck. The comfort he gave her just by being the same solid wall he always was, smelling of leather and smoke and sin, was immeasurable.
She only hoped her presence gave him some as well.
He reached up to cup her head, his fingers tangling in the hair she’d forgotten to pin back up once she’d taken it out of its restrictive bun. And he turned his cheek against her head, pressing as close to her as she was to him. “I’m sorry,” he murmured, too softly for anyone else but her to hear.
Eyes burning, she nodded. She wasn’t sure what he was apologizing for, but it didn’t matter. She forgave him for everything. “I’m sorry too,” she said back just as quietly.
Simon’s footsteps on the creaky floor broke their moment. “I’m sorry, man. I didn’t—I didn’t realize he was gone.”
Nick gave a quick, sharp nod. “I didn’t tell Lila, so no, you wouldn’t have.”
“His heart?”
