Page 1 of Hot Mess Momma


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Prologue

I didn’t set out to be a single parent. I set out to be the best parent I can be, and that will never change.

IwatchasCurtisgives me one last lingering look before he gets in his car and drives away. I know that will be the last I see of him. My heart sinks into my stomach, watching him leave, knowing my soon-to-be-born baby won't have a father in her life. I never thought this was how my life was going to turn out. I don't regret one second of my baby. When I found out I was pregnant, seeing those two pink lines first came fear, then such a deep love. The love I already felt for my baby, knowing that I would do anything for them. So seeing how he could walk away from her is something I'll never understand. I gave myself that day to cry and to feel the pain, then I picked myself back up, knowing I had to be strong for her. So I went through the late-night cravings, setting up the nursery and feeling my baby kick alone. I knew it would be just me and my baby taking on the world, with the help of my two best friends. When my water broke at 6 am, they were there through it all. They brought me food and stayed with me all day until I was ready to go to the hospital. Just thinking about getting registered makes me laugh.

When the nurse asked if we were together, Tessa put a big smile on her face while nodding her head and said, yes, we are in a love triangle while they both took hold of my arms. I wanted to strangle her. The poor nurse eating this up asked how we conceived, and Mia spoke up and said with a turkey baster with the straightest face. I wanted to kill them both, but ended up laughing because only those two would say something so crazy. After I checked in, I was finally led to my room and given the wonderful drugs, and four hours later, my baby girl Savannah was born kicking and screaming. The first time I got to hold her in my arms, I finally knew what true love was, knowing I would always put her first. I will make sure she knows I love her daily. Picking her back up when she falls and pushing her to be the best she can be. I know it will not be easy, but nothing in life is, but I know getting to watch my baby grow and be happy will be the greatest reward in my life.

One

90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lay down again.

Iblowoutabreath while giving myself one last glance in my mirror. Looking back at me is someone who doesn't feel the confidence that I need this morning. Black pencil skirt, red silk top, my long brown hair curled to frame my face, and a light amount of makeup. I'm trying to go for confidence, and as if I have my shit together. I don't, but fake it until you make it, right? Today is my second interview with Bradford Hotels. I had my first one on the phone with Mrs. Harper, and we ended up talking for two hours like we were old friends. I will work for Mr. Bradford himself. He owns the hottest hotels and spas around the country. I know I can do this job. All those nights I lost sleep putting myself through school to get my diploma. Though I don’t have the experience yet, but I'm a quick learner.

I was top of my class. If I get this, it means more security for Savannah, and that's my goal in life to make sure I can be the best mom she needs. It hasn't been easy being a single parent, but I wouldn't change a thing. My baby girl is my world. All the sleepless nights, crying myself to sleep, thinking I'm going to mess up her life, were all worth it just to see her smile at me every day. Hearing her tell me she loves me and her hugs is what I love the most. She may only be five, but she's so smart and sweet, and I know no matter what she wants to do with her life, I will stand by her side, cheering her on. Savannah has only asked once where her daddy was, and that was the hardest conversation I've ever had to have. There was no way in hell I was telling her he didn’t want her. So I told the only lie ever and made him out to be someone he wasn't. He had to leave the country, and he could not come back. Every day I make sure she knows I love her and that she is wanted, that she is my precious little Angel. I'm pulled out of my thoughts by Savannah, running into my bedroom with Tess and Mia hot on her heels. They will watch her for me today while I go to my interview since she doesn't have school today.

“You look pretty, momma.” She looks up at me, giving me her big, beautiful smile.

I push back her hair, smiling down at her. “Thank you, baby. You be good for Aunty Tess and Aunty Mia, okay, and then when I come home, we can order some pizza and watch a movie.”

She jumps up and down, clapping her hands together. “Yay, thank you, momma.” She runs out of the room to go back to playing.

I look up at my two best friends and see them smiling at me. “So, how do I look? Does it look like I have my shit together and not the hot mess momma I normally am?” I laugh because it's accurate. Right now I'd rather be in a pair of leggings with an oversized sweater than this skirt.

“Girl, you look amazing,” Tess says while Mia nods her head in agreement.

“You are going to knock them over, and they will hire you right on the spot. You've got this girl. Now you better go, so you aren't late. Don't worry about anything. Everything will work out. Have a little faith.” Mia says while they both come over and give me a group hug.

I walk over to my heels and slip them on while grabbing my purse, phone, and keys, making sure I have everything I'm going to need. Walking out of my room and into the living room, I walk over to Savannah and kiss her on her head. “I love you, baby and I'll see you later.”

“I love you too, Momma.” She turns back around to watch her favorite movie, Tangled. I swear I have seen all the Disney Princess movies so many times I even sing the songs now when they come on. I walk towards the door and turn back around one more time, knowing I need to get this job. Failing isn't an option.

“You've got this, momma. We will be here waiting with the pizza and wine when you get back,” Mia says, making me smile. I swear I don't know what I would have done without the two of them.

I nod my head and walk out the door, towards my car, and get in, punch the address in the GPS and pull out of my driveway. Thank god traffic is light as I make it there with twenty minutes left. I park in visitors' parking, make my way into the building, and head for the security desk.

“Hi, I'm here to interview with Mrs. Harper at one.” My hands start to shake, my nerves making their presence known.

He slides a book towards me. “Please sign in, and here's your visitor's badge. The elevators are to your right. Just take them up to the 20th floor.” With shaking hands I sign my name and grab the badge before heading towards the elevator.

I make my way up each floor, and I swear it's the longest I've ever been on an elevator, or maybe that's just my nerves thinking it's taking forever. I finally reach my floor and blow out a rough breath and make my way off. Walking towards the receptionist's desk, she’s already greeting me with a warm smile, making me less nervous.

“Hello, you must be Ms. Edwards. I will let Mrs. Harper know that you're here. Can I get you anything to drink while you wait?” She has a bubbly personality that I love.

“Hello and thank you. I'll pass on the drink. Thank you.” A coffee would be nice, but with how nervous I am, I'd more than likely end up wearing it with how bad my hands are shaking. I just take a seat when a woman in her 50s comes out with a big smile on her face walking toward me. I stand up as she reaches me.

She sticks out her hand for me to shake, making me feel at ease. “You must be Ms. Edwards. It's a pleasure to meet you. Why don't you follow me, and we can start.”

“It's nice to meet you, and thank you.” I follow her to a back office, and she indicates the chair she wants me to sit in.

She shuffles a few things on her desk before looking up at me. “I have to be honest here with your lack of on-the-job experience. I was a little apprehensive. But I have a feeling you're exactly what Bradford Hotels needs. You got excellent references from your last job and your school. So I would love to offer you the Personal Assistant position for Mr. Bradford. The job won’t be easy, but I know you will do well. Here is the package. Look it over, and everything that needs a signature is marked.” She hands me over the envelope, my hands shaking.

To get my emotions under control, I have to swallow a few times. “I got the job?” She has a big smile on her face.

“You did, that’s if you still want it.” She raises her eyebrow at me.

“Yes, thank you. You do not know what this means to me.” I give her the biggest smile, so grateful she is willing to take a chance on me. She hands me a pen as I pull the documents out of the envelope, my eyes bugging out at the salary and full benefits page. I will never have to worry again with this dollar amount. Never wonder if I'm going to have enough to keep the heat going, enough food in the house for Savannah. I sign the last of the documents and hand them over. I knew talking to Mrs. Harper during our phone interview she was someone I was going to like. We bonded over being single parents, and the interview didn’t go how I expected at all. She put me at ease. She looks everything over to make sure I missed nothing and looks up, smiling.

“How is your little girl doing? Savannah, was it?” She places the papers in a file and gives me her full attention.

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