Page 5 of Hot Mess Momma


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I can feel a tear slide down my face because, for the first time in my life, I have someone who gets my fears. “Then I want to try, Evan,” I whisper out.

He places another kiss on my forehead and graces me with a big smile. “I'm so fucking happy, baby. Thank you for trusting me with both your hearts.” He bends his head like he is going to kiss me.

“Evan, you're missing the good parts. Flynn is taking Rapunzel to the Snuggly Duckling.” Savannah brings us out of our bubble, making us both laugh and pull back.

He winks at me. “Well, we must not keep Princess Savannah waiting.” He grabs the pizzas while I grab the plates and drinks, and we head to the living room. I place the plates down and plate up some food for her.

“Thank you, momma.” She takes a big bite, smiling at me.

“You're welcome, baby girl.” I sit down beside her while Evan sits down on the opposite side of her. We eat, laugh, and have a great time. As the movie progresses and she has had enough to eat, she leans into Evan as if she's seeking warmth and safety. It's almost like she can sense it from him. He grabs the throw blanket on the back of the couch and covers her up with it. When the sad part of the movie hits and Savannah cries, Evan wipes her tears away for her, making my throat clog with emotions.

Evan looks down at her with a soft look on his face. “Why do you watch it if it makes you sad?”

“It’s only sad for a little. Then she finds her mommy and daddy again living happily ever after with them and Flynn how it's supposed to be.” She shrugs her shoulders as if the answer is obvious. I know Savannah is missing the father figure in her life. I can only do so much as one person hoping beyond hope that I’m doing everything right for her.

It was always my fear watching as she grows that I'm never going to be enough, and I think anyone in my shoes would feel the same. The movie ends, and Savannah lets out another yawn, signaling that her bedtime is coming up. I think I'm just going to put her in my bed, just in case she needs me tonight.

“Savannah, why don’t you say good night to Evan and go hop in my bed? And I’ll be in soon. You can sleep with me tonight.” I push her hair from her face, placing a kiss on her head.

“Okay, momma.” She turns to Evan and wraps her arms around his middle, hugging him, shocking not only me but him as well. “Good night Evan. Will you come back to watch more movies with me tomorrow?” She looks up at him with so much hope in her eyes. He turns to look at me to see if it's okay, and I nod my head with a soft smile on my face, wanting to get to spend more time with him as well. It seems I'm not the only one taken by Evan.

“I’ll be back tomorrow, I promise.” He places a kiss on her head as she gets up. “Good night Princess Savannah.”

We both watch her walk away down the hall with her Funny Bunny, as she calls it. She has had that pink bunny since she was a baby, and it goes with her everywhere. I get up, grab the plates, and I can hear Evan coming up behind me. He wraps his arms around me, bending his head, breathing in my scent, and placing a kiss behind my ear, making my body shiver.

I turn around in his arms, and the heated look in his eyes makes my panties wet. He looks from my eyes, down to my lips, and back up again. I know he wants to kiss me. I nod my head slightly, giving him permission, letting him know I want it just as bad as he does. He bends his head and lightly brushes his lips against mine once, twice before he digs his hands in my hair and really lets loose, stealing my breath away. He nips, licks, and sucks until all I can do is hold on and let him take what he wants, and I'm willing to hand it all over to him. The way he dominates my mouth has me wondering how he will dominate my body. He slows down the kiss until we both pull apart, the both of us breathing heavily. He places another kiss on my forehead and wraps me in his arms.

“I’m going to go and let you get some rest, but I will be back tomorrow. If you need anything, just let me know, and I will be right over. I don't want you to worry about work. Take the rest of this week off and take care of Savannah.” He reluctantly pulls out of my arms, fighting, wanting to stay just like I wish he would. I wish he didn't have to leave, and the fact that I'm attached to him so soon should scare me, but I will not let the fear stop what I want.

“Evan, I honestly didn’t even think of work. Are you sure that’s okay? I mean, I just started?” I worry my bottom lip with my teeth because I still need this job. He pulls my lip free and kisses it softly with a feather-light touch.

“I promise your job will be there when you come back in. Savannah is more important right now. Everything else can wait. I will text you in the morning. Come lock up.” He takes my hand, and we walk to my front door. He steps out onto the porch and turns to look at me.

“Goodnight, baby. I will see you tomorrow.” He bends his head and kisses me so softly, making me sigh.

“Goodnight, Evan. I'll see you tomorrow,” I whisper out as I watch as he gets in his car and pulls away, wishing that he would just come back. Tomorrow can’t come soon enough.

Five

“I will drink you under the table!”... I whisper to my coffee as we hide from the children.

Iwakeupfromthe most amazing dream ever of Evan and I getting married. We were just getting to the part where we said I do. Right when he’s about to say it is when I feel someone poking my nose and the sound of giggles making my lips twitch. It reminds me of when she was smaller and would come into my room in the morning, but she would hover over my face, not making a sound, wanting me to wake up. Somehow I always felt it in my sleep, and it would scare the crap out of me when I would open my eyes. Thank God she no longer does that, because I'm pretty sure I've gotten grey hair from that. I try to lie as still as possible, so she doesn't know I'm awake just yet. Opening my eyes just a little, Savannah quickly lays back down, pretending to be asleep, but she’s got a big smile on her face, so she’s not fooling me. I close my eyes slightly again so I can still see her getting ready to poke me. Once her hand is close to my face, I open my eyes, making her squeal with laughter. I tickle her side, making her laugh even more. Seeing her so happy after getting hurt yesterday warms my heart.

She snuggles till her head is laying on my chest, and I run my fingers through her soft hair. “Good morning, momma.”

“Good morning, baby girl. How are you feeling?” Looking down at her pink cast is a reminder that things could have been so much worse. I hate to see her in any pain, and I would gladly take it away from her if I could.

“It only hurts a little today. When can I take it off?” She asks while snuggling deeper into me, and I know she will nap most of the day today. Every little move she made last night made me wake up in case she needed me.

I kiss the top of her head. “I'm sorry, baby, but it's going to be a while before it comes off. When we go into the kitchen, I'll show you on the calendar. What do you feel like having for breakfast?”

“Can I have chocolate chip pancakes, please?” She smiles up at me as if I would tell her no. I swear she could live off of pancakes if I let her.

I laugh at her hopeful look. “Sure you can. Why don't you go downstairs and watch some TV, and I will be there in a few minutes after I get dressed?”

“Okay, momma.”

I help her down off the bed and watch as she walks out of the room, heading for the living room. I get up, head for the bathroom, and do my morning routine. Brushing my teeth and washing my face, I throw my hair up into a messy bun, not even bothering with any makeup. I quickly get dressed in a pair of black leggings and an oversized sweater and call it a day. I honestly don't have the energy to look any better. Besides, if Evan truly wants to be with me, he needs to see what he’s truly getting into with me. I was never one who really dressed up unless I had somewhere to go. When I'm home and have no place to go, I go for comfort.

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