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He tugs on my leg, my feet slip on the muck, and I fall flat on my ass. The hose flies out of my hand, it turns off instantly as it darts across the stall, and I, too, am now soaked in pig shitopposite him. Groaning, I sit up, yanking my headphones out of my ears. I move to strike but stop when Alpha stares at me in complete shock.
“Haven, what the fuck?” He grunts, shaking his hands from the shit dripping off them.
I bite my lips together, trying hard not to laugh at his shit-covered body, but it’s no good when I take in his appearance. “Well, you startled me.”
He sits taller, a slow smirk appearing on his face. “Did you shoulder-drop me into pig shit?”
I burst out laughing, picking up a runny pile and throwing it at his chest. It slams into his shirt, and he glares at me. “You did not just fling dung at me.”
Shrugging, I go to pick up some more, but he lunges at me, pinning me to the ground of the pigsty. Nacho and Taco move over, snorting beside us making me giggle. I don’t make any move to push Alpha off me before he leans in close. “You stink,” he whispers.
I snicker. “Not as much as you.”
Alpha presses his lips to mine, his tongue sliding into my mouth. He lets my hands go, and they instantly slide up under his shirt, needing to feel him close to me. Then he presses his hard cock against me, and I moan into his mouth. But as quickly as he starts, he pulls back, reaching for my headphones. “Whatisthis shit you’re listening to?” He pushes off me and moves to stand.
I try to snap the headphones off him, but he grins, nodding. “Is this the Backstreet Boys?”
“It is,” I answer, impressed that he even knows who they are.
He snorts out a mocking laugh. “Not what I imagined you would listen to. This is awholeother side of you.”
“I’m like an onion.”
“What? You make me cry every time I come near you.”
I punch his arm. “Har-fucking-har, I walked right into that one. No. I have many layers.”
“I’d like to take those layers off right now.”
“I mean, really?” I glance down at the state of us. “We’re literally covered in shit, and you’re thinking about sex?”
Alpha grins, moving in closer, wrapping his arms around me. “I think about sex with you constantly.”
“Well, I can’t blame you. Iamamazing. But I need to finish cleaning up here first and check up on something. Rain check for tonight?”
He furrows his brows, pulling back from me. “This thing you need to check up on… does it have anything to do with why you’ve been snooping around the clubhouse?”
My eyes widen while I stare at him. “I’m sorry. What?”
He steps back from me, folding his arms over his chest. “I saw you earlier. Hiding behind the Chapel stairs, listening in on my VP and Maverick’s conversation… you wanna tell me what that was all about?”
I take another step back from him, now folding my arms over my chest. “They were having a private conversation, and I needed to talk to Maverick. I was waiting for them to finish so I could go talk to him. Not that it is any of your goddamn bus—”
“It is, though, Haven. Itismy business. This ismyclub. These aremypeople. What happens with them ismyresponsibility.”
“Right. But I’mnota part of the club. I’mnotyour people. It doesn’t matter that I’m just trying to fucking help, does it? How aboutyoustop trying to pry into my fucking business!”
He jerks his head back. “This attitude is because I told you about the embassy and what happened to Poppy, right? You avoiding sex, your defensive attitude, the way you attacked me when I got in here.” He runs his hand through his hair, letting out a long exhale. “You don’t feel safe around here anymore, do you?”
The misery in his eyes, the regret, and the turmoil all tell me I shouldn’t do this. But I know this is the best way to keep him safe right now, even though this will hurt us both. I need to take his cue and roll with it. “Yes. I can’t look at you the same. I thought you were this strong, brave hero. Turns out you’re nothing but a fucking mass m-murderer!” My voice shakes, breaking at the end with a lack of conviction.
Alpha’s entire demeanor changes—his forlorn eyes stare, deep wrinkles etch into his forehead, his breathing becomes fast and frantic like he’s about to panic. I want to reach out to him, grab him, tell him I was lying, that none of that bullshit I spouted at him is true. But before I can, he turns, storming out of the barn, while my heart splinters into a thousand tiny shards all over the ground, drowning in the pig shit mess I have just sunk us both into.
I wasn’t sure how deep I was in with Alpha until this very moment when I feel every atom inside of me exploding at the seams. Cracking my very foundations. I let myself fall to pieces as soon as he’s out of the barn. I drop to the ground, my head in my hands, bursting into tears. Nacho nuzzles into me, clearly sensing I need some love, and I hold onto her, knowing that at least someone is still on my side.
Even though my heart is broken, and I feel completely lost, I know I have no choice. I had to get rid of Alpha and his pressing to figure out what’s going on. And sitting in the middle of the pigsty covered in shit isnotgoing to get me any sort of answers. Nor is wallowing in self-pity going to get Alpha the help he desperately needs and deserves.
I give Nacho an extra hug, then stand, grab my headphones, and make my way for the loft.
