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“Uhhh,” I say with a nervous giggle. I shrug. “I don’t really know, if I’m being honest. Things have gotten more intense. I like him. Is that weird though? So soon afterbreaking my engagement—the engagement whereCamwas the best man?” He’s shown me how to stand on my own two feet. I like being my own person, creating my own life with my own friends and responsibilities. I didn’t realize how trapped I felt with Bryan until I was set free. I’m eating up my independence.The new Jordan don’t need no man.
“Okay, I want you to take that whole mess out of the equation. For now, pretend Bryan didn’t exist and Cam was a stranger you met on the street. Now how do you feel about him?”
A smile creeps onto my face. “He’s perfect.”
She smiles even bigger than me. “That’s your answer. Don’t let the public drama fuck with what you and he share privately. If you like him, you like him. And it sounds like you’re the first person Banks has ever gotten close to, which means he definitely feelssomeway about you.”
Micky makes it seem so easy.
“We’re in a weird spot. I think he wants more, but I’m not ready to make the leap. Does he even realize what he would be giving up? You’ve seen him, he keeps women like secrets.”
She scoffs. “But you’re essentially living together. So what’s your endgame?” she asks, turning up the TV and switching the channel to the game in Vancouver.
There are times we look at each other and I see the strong attraction in his eyes. The closest he came to acknowledging it was in the boathouse. He’s never been in a real relationship before. What if he decides it’s not for him and wants to continue to play the field? I’d be left crushed and alone. I reacted poorly, but this is a big deal—for both of us. It’s not something we’d be able to dip our toes into and walk away from unscathed. If I take down that barrier between us, I’d fall hard, and it scares the hell out of me. Cam is my bestfriend. He knows me on a level deeper than I’ve allowed anyone else to go.
“You’re right. Unfortunately, I acted like an idiot over Thanksgiving. I pushed him away when I should have pulled him closer.”
Her nose scrunches. “Why the hell did you do that?”
I cover my face. “I don’t know, I panicked or something. It was so stupid.”
Doesn’t mean I can’t undo it.Shit. I don’t want to wait too long and lose the opportunity. My hands fall to my sides. “No. You know what? I’m gonna tell him. Tonight. After his game, I’m going to call him. Fuck this no-talking bullshit.”
“Hell yeah!” Micky holds her drink out to cheers with me. Yeah. This feels good. I will get it all off my chest, and he can take it or leave it. But not knowing feels so much worse.
“Ooh, we need snacks!” Micky hops up and hurries to the kitchen to grab a bowl of popcorn.
There’s a subtle bass in the floor from the live music below us at Sugar and Ice, the cocktail lounge Micky owns. “Hey, how’s business, by the way? Sounds like it’s hopping downstairs.”
“It’s going really well! We’re partnering with Citra brewing, and they have a couple guys who have been awesome mentors for me.”
“That’s so great! Sounds exciting.”
“It is! What are you doing for work?”
I sigh and lean back, folding my legs in front of me. “Nothing yet. I’ve been thinking about volunteering with Safehouse, Cam’s project, until I figure it out. I gotta get out more.”
She nods. “Well, what do you like to do?”
I cringe. “I’m trying to figure that out. Most of my life has been a certain way. My hobbies werechosen for me,” I say, thinking of all the equestrian and piano lessons. “And now I’m late to the party trying to find myself. After the engagement ended, I realized I’ve never really been in control of my own life. So I’m looking for something... new. Something fulfilling that benefits other people. It’s gotta feel right, ya know?”
She swallows her drink and nods. “Absolutely. Sugar and Ice is my baby, and if I didn’t have it, I’d be lost. Speaking of, do you want to go out tonight? I mean, if you want, we can go downstairs and get free drinks,” she says, pointing at the floor.
I purse my lips and cock my head to the side. “Are we still doing brunch with the girls tomorrow?”
“Bottomless Bloody Marys.”
“Nah, let’s stay in and watch the game.”
She holds her fist in the air and grabs the remote, turning on the pregame show. “I’m secretly relieved you said that.” She ties her hair up into a messy bun and rolls her eyes. “The finance bros tend to take over Thursday nights, and they’d be trying to suck our dicks all night.”
I laugh and take another sip of my sparkling water. Cam’s headshot splashes on the TV as the hockey analysts discuss his new role as captain. They talk about him like he’s the team wildcard, and maybe he is, but they don’t know him like I do.
Once the game starts, I smile. Every time he makes a swift pass, steals the puck, or outmaneuvers another player by quickly switching directions, I’m left in awe of his skill and ability to anticipate moves of other players. He’s talented as hell.
Micky decides we need to up the ante and whips together a few cocktails. They’re delicious, and before we know it, we’re three drinks in, and it’s not even halfway throughsecond period. My whole body is fuzzy and warm. We’ve become more belligerent and animated as the game goes on. The Lakes are in their element.
“Fuck yeah!” Micky yells, holding her hand out to me.
