Page 25 of Stand and Defend


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“If she’s your dog, how come she doesn’t live with you?”

“Bryan is allergic.”

Huh?“Bryan’s not allergic.” Apparently, he’s got all kinds of secrets. “He had a bloodhound growing up.”

“What?!”

I know we were best friends and all, but Bryan’s treated her beyond shitty.

“You didn’t know that?”

She shakes her head near my shoulder and mumbles something about him being a motherfucker. “That’s good to know.” There’s a hint of anger behind her words, but it’s not aimed at me.

“Are you a cat or dog person?” she asks.

“Dog person. Cats don’t have eyebrows, and it freaks me out.”

“You’re weird.”

“You’ll never unsee it.”

The first stoplight we hit, she keeps one arm around me but uses the other to brace against the gas tank instead of falling into my back.

“Look at you, already knowing where to put your hands.”

“I’m a natural.” She pretends to flip her hair back.

I grin. “All right, you still have one more, so make it good.”

She groans. “Don’t let it go to your head—if it gets any bigger, we’ll tip over—but probably this. Going for a ride.”

“Great, right?”

“Yeah, it’s pretty awesome.” The light turns green, and we take off.

There’s a lull in conversation, but it’s not awkward. After a moment, she breaks the silence.

“So, are you going to hold my hand for the rest of the ride or...?”

“Huh?”Fuck.I look down and my thumb is absentmindedly stroking her gloved fingers, the ones pressed to my stomach. I pull my hand back.How long has that been going on? Before the stoplight?“Oh.” I laugh it off. “I’m used to fucking the girl who rides in your spot, must be a habit... Okay. So, no diet. Wanna grab some food? I ate earlier, but I’m always extra hungry after a game.”

“Sure, I could eat.”

“You pick.”

“Tacos?”

I smile. “A woman after my own heart.”

“I told you, Cam...” She pats my stomach, and my abs tighten. “You’re not my type.”

7

My hands are pressed over my eyes as I sit hunched over on the white U-shaped sofa in our condo. The cushions aren’t even cushiony. It’s like poorly upholstered concrete. I never liked this couch.

After the bike ride, I gained some clarity about Bryan’s and my relationship. He wasted my time, my energy, I’ve defended his problematic behavior to our friends so many times, and he humiliated me at my own bachelorette party. When I hear the click of the deadbolt, I sit up and take a deep breath.This is it.

He saunters in, holding his keys in his fist over the kitchen island and opens his clenched palm to let them hit the marble with a harsh clank. He continues his slow stride until he’s standing at the edge of the living room and kitchen. He sighs. “I’m sorry for what happened.”

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