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“She is. Even when she was a newborn, she was so calm and happy, she slept straight through the night without any trouble. I think she sensed I was desperately trying to keep it together,” I add wryly. “So she decided to give me a break. Not that it was easy, but… I got through OK, with my family.”
“Reeve,” he says, nodding, and I glance over.
“Oh crap, what did he say?”
“Nothing,” Josh replies. “…much. He was just being a good brother,” he adds, and I can imagine how that went.
“I’m sorry. He’s protective,” I sigh. “Of the both of us.”
“Good. You’re worth protecting.”
I pause. Josh is still strolling, taking in the scenery, but the quiet note in his voice makes my stomach do an unfamiliar flip.
“So, you’re heading back to LA after the wedding?” Josh continues, still sounding casual.
I nod. “For a few weeks. Then we’ll be moving to North Carolina, for pre-production on Reeve’s next movie. It’s shooting in a cute town in the mountains,” I explain. “So we’ll probably set up a home base there for a few months. Lottie’s school is one of those performing arts places, packed with actors and musicians,” I explain. “She dials in remote most of the time, and does all these enrichment science camps.”
“East Coast, then,” Josh says, and I swear I see a smile.
“Yup.” I reply. “You?”
“Yup,” he echoes. “For now, anyway.”
Before I can ask what he means, Lottie comes rushing back over. “Did you see the cocoons?” she asks. “There are hundreds of them, under that tree.”
Josh goes to look with her, and I’m surprised to find my heart beating faster, a curious mix of anticipation and nerves in the pit of my stomach.
Hanging out with my kid, asking about our future plans… this doesn’t feel like ‘vacation fling’ territory anymore.
But making it something real…
The nerves turn to panic as I watch them together; Josh’s head bent to listen to Lottie, looking patient, and perfectly at ease.
I’ve been single for so long, I haven’t had to seriously reckon with what it would mean to open my life to someone.Ourlives. Because it’s not just my heart that would be on the line here, but Lottie’s feelings, too. And if she bonded with Josh, started to rely on him being around, and then it didn’t work out…
I gulp. Suddenly, it feels like there’s a new weight pressing down on my chest, a whole mess of expectations and hopes and quiet, secret longing. Am I even crazy for considering a future? What if I’m overthinking this for nothing, and Josh is just making polite conversation to pass the time?
I force myself to push the questions aside. I came here to have some fun and relax, I remind myself. Josh was only ever supposed to be a temporary distraction, a way to blow off some steam and feel like the flirty, non-mom version of myself again. But even as I run through all the reasons not to let my emotions run away from me, there’s one thought that lingers, louder than the rest:
What ifIwant more than just this week?
18
HAZEL
“So,is Josh going to be my new daddy?”
I nearly have a heart attack, whipping my head around to where Lottie is helping Ivy with her dress buttons, getting ready for the rehearsal dinner in my room. “What?!”
“Oh my God, your face!” Lottie howls with laughter, and Ivy giggles along, too.
“I told you,” Ivy gives her a high five. “Priceless.”
“That’s not funny.” I complain, and they grin.
“It is,” Ivy smirks.
“A little,” Lottie agrees.
