Page 13 of Only For You


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We arrived home witha truck full of baby furniture and equipment, bags and bags of clothes and linen, and one very hungry baby boy. The little guy had slept on and off for the three-hour round-trip to the baby supply store, but according to Heather’s schedule, he was due a bottle fifteen minutes ago, and he wasn’t shy about letting us know it.

Mum had generously bought a couple of the big-ticket items, but my savings account had taken a hit. I tried not to think about what couldn’t be helped, but I’d spent the last twelve months stashing away every last cent to expand my business, and I wasthis closeto realising my dream. As the costs had tallied up at the register, I’d begun to wonder if agreeing to Birdie’s plan was worth the risk. What if the gamble didn’t pay off, and I was left with more debt than I already had? What if I couldn’t deliver all the things I’d agreed to—the repairs, the set-up, the food, the beer, the service? Raising a kid wasn’t part of the plan, and it hadn’t been considered in the figures. I couldn’t work my arse offthe way I had been the last twelve months, and I couldn’t extend my opening hours without worrying about childcare first. Fuck. I couldn’t makeanydecisions now without thinking about how they’d impact Seb.

Mum had gone straight home after the shopping spree, wanting to wait for Ray and tell him about Seb in person, so Abbie and I were on our own. Once we were inside and Seb was guzzling happily on a fresh batch of warm formula, Abbie looked around at the state of my place. That was the same moment my eyes darted to the clock on the wall. The morning was gone, the afternoon was slipping away, and I had to open the bar in less than four hours. There was no way we’d be able to clear out the spare room and build the furniture in the time we had. Not alone, anyway.

As if she’d read my mind, Abbie pulled her phone from her back pocket. “You want me to text the crew and ask them to come around?”

Seb noisily finished the last mouthful of milk and started to squirm, and I sighed with resignation. I wanted my mates to meet Seb and know he existed, but I wasn’t looking forward to having the conversation. I didn’t know it was possible to want to share a piece of news as badly as you never wanted to say the words out loud.

“Yep. We’re going to need them. Just keep the message vague for now, okay?”

“No problem.”

As the tap-and-whoosh of an outgoing text message sounded from Abbie’s phone, I tucked Seb against my body and started pulling things out of the shopping bags. When I found the fabric baby carrier, I tried unsuccessfully to unpack it with one hand until Abbie laid a blanket down on the floor and then took the baby from me.

I pressed my lips together as she deposited him on the floor, then stood back to give him a little room. He looked so small and… kind of abandoned.

“Is he all right down there?” I gestured to one of the boxes stacked near the front door. “Should we put him in the bouncing chair thing instead?”

Abbie glanced at the box, then back at Seb and set her hands on her hips. “We could, but I think this is okay too. He’s been in a chair all day, and I’m pretty sure babies are supposed to spend time kicking their legs or whatever.”

Seb stared up at the ceiling for a moment before squealing and twisting his body. I worried if it was normal for him to want to curl up so tightly, but then Seb tucked his legs and flipped himself onto his stomach, and I exchanged a startled look with Abbie.

“Is he old enough to be rolling like that?”

“How the fuck should I know?” Abbie rolled her eyes at my disapproving frown. “What? When his first word is ‘fuck’, then come at me. Until then, I reserve the right to use the word when required.”

“That was not required,” I muttered, returning to the fabric baby carrier. I lengthened a few straps to get it to fit over my shoulders and back, then slipped it onto my front. The fabric sagged in the middle even after I tightened it, so I pulled on a different set of straps. It was lopsided then, and when I couldn’t get the clips around my waist to connect, I swore under my breath and snatched up the instructions.

“Not required,” Abbie murmured, and when I scowled at her, she clicked her tongue and planted herself in front of me. “Oh, come here.”

She tugged at the carrier, and I focussed on the top of her blonde head as her familiar coconut fragrance filled my nostrils. I let my eyelids close while I breathed it in, wrapping myselfin the comfort of her closeness, and my nerves began to settle. I wasn’t all that frustrated about this stupid baby-wearing sling thing. Things were moving so fast and changing before I could understand them, and wrapping myself in a fucking baby harness was just one challenge too much.

Abbie made a little noise as she frowned at the carrier. I watched her fingers dance across my arms and chest as she readjusted it and smiled a little when her hands jerked with irritation. I loved the feel of Abbie’s skin on mine. She touched me like she owned me—never asking first, never hesitant or shy or unsure if she should. I’d always loved the way she did that, and if all the years we’d known each other hadn’t dulled the thrill, nothing ever would.

When she was satisfied with the results, Abbie smoothed my shirt underneath and gave me an approving nod. “Done.”

I tugged at it to settle it better across my chest. “Thanks.”

I scooped up Seb from the floor and tried to slide his legs through the spaces in the carrier, but he got a little stuck. He protested, wriggling and whining, and Abbie clicked her tongue as she adjusted the straps again.

“Is he going to fit?”

I grunted as he finally slid into place. “He’s solid, that’s for sure.”

I preferred holding him like this—less chance I’d drop him—and once Seb was secured, Abbie stepped back. She had a small, amused smile on her face.

I spread my arms and turned around to give her a proper look. “What do you think?”

“Very cute.”

I gave her a crooked smile—the one that made the dimple in my right cheek pop. “Me or the baby?”

“What do you think?” I opened my mouth, and she smacked her hand over it. “Don’t answer that. I already know what you’re going to say.”

I grinned wider against her palm as she fought a smile. My eyes dropped to her lips, full and pink with a shape I could draw with my eyes closed. For the millionth time, I wondered where Abbie and I would be today if she’d ever let me kiss those lips, but she hadn’t. Probably because she already knew the answer.

I’d have found a way to fuck us up.

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