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By the time we were done, I didn’t recognise the space. It was a little boy’s bedroom.Mylittle boy’s bedroom. All white and grey and pale blue, smelling like soap and baby lotions, stocked with piles of nappies and wet wipes and jumpsuits, a pram tucked away in the corner.
Maybe the sight of it should have freaked me out, and part of me did wonder how the fuck I’d found myself in this situation, but mostly I was relieved that there was one thing I could cross off the list of things I needed to get done.
Fifteen minutes before I needed to head downstairs and open the bar, I waved my mates off with promises of free drinks and a lifetime of favours, then stood in the middle of the quiet loft with Abbie at my side. Seb was tucked into his bed, sleeping in something other than the car or someone’s arms for the first time that day.
As I scooped up my phone and keys and prepared to leave, an unexpected heaviness settled in my stomach. I’d spent the afternoon not thinking much about the fact that I’d have to leave Seb to go to work, but now that it was time for me to go, it felt weird letting him out of my sight. I glanced over Abbie’s shoulder to Seb’s closed bedroom door and hesitated.
Abbie crossed her arms and jutted her hip, looking up at me with knowing eyes. “We’ll be fine.”
Would they? Abbie knew nothing about babies, and I was about to leave her alone with mine for at least six hours. As quick as the doubt came to me, I pushed it away again. It wasn’t fair. Abbie knew at least as much as I did, probably more, and I trusted her.
Worst case, I was only a flight of stairs away.
“You’ve got the feeding and sleeping schedule?” I asked.
She pointed towards the kitchen. “It’s on the fridge.”
“And the baby monitor—”
She lifted a glowing screen towards me, lights flashing on the side. “Fully charged.”
“Right.” I scratched my cheek, the coarse shadow reminding me that I’d forgotten to shave that morning. “Just call if you need anything.”
“I will.” She turned me around and pushed me towards the door.
“Or just bring him downstairs if you have to.”
Abbie opened the door and gave me an exasperated look when I didn’t walk through it. “I won’t need to, but okay.”
“I’ll send up some food from the kitchen around dinnertime.”
“I appreciate that. Thank you.” She shoved me hard enough to move me half a step into the hall. “Nowgo.”
A mewling sound escaped from the monitor in Abbie’s hand, and my heart lurched. Both Abbie and I paused, our eyes locked on the buzzing green lights. A long second passed, then a few more, but Seb was silent.
“See?” Abbie didn’t look so certain anymore, but she set a hand on my chest anyway and tried to push me the final step through the door. “Everything is fine, and I’m perfectly capable of taking care of a baby for one night. Now get out of here.”
I cocked a sceptical eyebrow her way, and she poked her tongue out at me. She meant it to be playful, but it was so fucking sexy.
“I’ll go if you call meDaddyagain.”
Abbie froze with a hand on my pec and pressed the tips of each finger a little harder into the muscles. She gazed up at me, eyes wide and lips parted, and my pulse thundered. Her eyes dropped to my mouth, and her teeth caught her bottom lip, and there was no mistaking the sexual tension now.
If Abbie were any other woman, I’d have slipped my hand behind her neck, slammed her against the wall, and rolled my hips against her so she knew exactly what she did to me. But this wasn’t any other woman. This was Abbie, and I’d never get a second chance at our first kiss. If I tried that shit on her, I’d probably end up with a knee to the balls.
Slowly, I turned so we were chest to chest. I reached for the hand at her side and brushed her fingers with the backs of mine. “Abbie…”
She shoved me into the hall with a grunt. “Go to work.”
The door slammed in my face, and I stood in the hallway looking at it for a good thirty seconds, wondering if I should storm back in and just freaking kiss her.
And wouldn’t that prove what a fucking idiot I was?
I adjusted my pants before jogging down the stairs to the bar, reminding myself why Abbie and I had gone ten years without ever crossing that line.
Because sex was the only thing I was good at. Because sex was all I had to offer. Because sex would change everything, and neither of us had ever wanted that.
Jesus fucking Christ, this had been the longest day in the history of the fucking world.
