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He’d said it teasingly, but her face fell and he knew he’d fucked up. “Sorry.”
“I was kidding,” he said gently, but the smile she gave him didn’t reach her eyes. “Abb?—”
“Next question?” she interrupted.
He wanted to pry, but knew he had no right to. So instead, he just took a deep breath and moved on. “You don’t have to decide this on your own,” he began, and her brows pinched together. “What exactly do you want out of this?” He waved his hand between them, watching her carefully. He didn’t want her to have another panic attack, but he was about to have one if he didn’t get at least a few answers.
“What do you mean?” she breathed.
His eyes dropped to her lap, finding her twisting her hands together. He wanted to reach out and stop her. He wanted to reassure her. Let her know it’s fine, she didn’t need to have all the answers. He just didn’t want to fuck up.
“We said fun,” he said cautiously. She kept her face carefully blank. Too blank. “Is that still what you want?” Her lip slid between her teeth as she looked around the tiny diner.
“Yeah,” she said, her voice high-pitched. “Yeah. Just some fun. That’s it. Nothing more. Not for me. What about you?”
Somehow, he didn’t believe those words. “Maybe,” he drawled. “Maybe something more.”
“More?” Her eyes widened, her face slightly flushing.
“Eventually. If that’s something you’d want.”
She was nodding before he was even done speaking. “Like, my real Daddy? Not pretend? And we can see each other? And have sleepovers? Could I put glitter in your beard? Paint your nails? Oh, I know! What about?—”
She stopped talking as he began laughing, her face flushing a bright red. “We can do all that.” He shook his head, still smiling at her. “How about this? We start off slow—” She groaned, long and loud, and he rolled his eyes. Seriously, so dramatic. “We start off slow?—”
“How much slower can we possibly go?” she cried. “We’re moving slower than snails!”
“No sex,” he continued, ignoring her outburst. Her mouth snapped shut, her face going impossibly redder. “Not yet. We need to figure out limits. And what you said about me being your Daddy?” He subtly looked around, making sure no one was close enough to hear.
“Will you be? Please?” She began bouncing again, looking like an eager little puppy.
“You don’t know me,” he murmured. “You might not want me once we get to know each other better.” She scoffed.
“Like that would ever happen.”
“Abbie—”
“And if it did, we could just end things. Go our separate ways. Easy peasy, right?”
Yeah.
It would be so easy to just leave her.
“The whole reason I posted that listing was because I wanted a Daddy,” she said quietly. “To be honest, I don’t have a lot of friends. Well, any. I don’t have any friends. And…I don’t know. I read these books about these Daddies with their Littles, and it just seemed so nice to have someone like that, you know? I’m tired of being alone all the time. So I thought posting would let me meet my Daddy. And then you replied, and we started talking, and…” She shrugged as she trailed off. “I just wanna try it. And if we hate it, then we can just be friends.”
This was the most serious he’d ever heard her. When they texted, she was still silly, never taking anything seriously. And last night, even though she was anxious to talk to him on the phone, she wasn’t like this. Even when she had a panic attack, he didn’t think she was this serious.
He took a deep breath. “That’s what you really want? With me? You’re not just settling for me because I’m the first one who replied?” She shook her head.
“I’m not a dummy,” she muttered.
“I didn’t say you were.” He smoothed his fingers over the table, wishing he was touching her instead. “I just want to make sure you want this.”
“I do.” She rested her hand on his knee, and his dick twitched.
Not now.
That would be a disaster.
