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Milan let out a long sigh and nodded. “I'm married.”
“What the fuck!?” TT shouted.
“It's not what you think.”
TT threw his arms up. “Of course! And the hits just keep on coming.”
“We're separated,” Ajay said in his defense.
TT frowned at him. “After you met me?”
Milan shook his head. “No, I left him two months before I decided to take this case. He cheated on me among other things. We were over with long before that. But finding out that he was cheating on me gave me the strength to leave him. Honestly, I don't know why I stayed so long. For some reason, I felt like I needed him. Needed him to help pay the bills, needed him to keep me company on those occasions when he wasn't being a complete asshole.” He paused.
TT crossed his arms over his chest. “Go on. I want to know everything.”
Milan nodded. “My mom died. I grew up in a few foster homes and not one was kind to me.” He released a soft sigh and ran his fingers through his hair before continuing. “That's why I wentinto the military as soon as I could. College wasn't for me, I was never good in school. But being a S.E.A.L.... doing that gave me purpose, direction. It was something I was good at. When I joined the DEA, I met Kevin. He was my superior and he wasn't completely upfront with me about who he really was. We got married and not three months after our wedding, I started to regret it, but thought I needed to fight to change him. Fight for what we had promised each other. I was the only one fighting and he wasn't my opponent. I had been fighting myself.”
“So, it's over between you two?” TT asked.
Milan nodded. “So fucking over. But that asshole won't sign the divorce papers. He refuses to let me go. One of the reasons I was so pissed today was because instead of my regular handler, my partner Mason, his ass showed up here. He grilled me and tried to win me back. I want nothing to do with him.”
TT's jaw was tight as he listened to Milan tell him about his past and the man who had made his life hell. “As long as it's over between you two, we can move forward, because I won't be a side dish.”
Milan smiled. “As if you could ever be anything other than the main course.”
“Fuck yeah,” TT said with a smirk. “Okay, why is the DEA looking into the Lords?”
Milan scoffed at that. “I mean, baby, one of our—their—snitches ends up dead in the same location where a Lord just happened to be raises a few eyebrows.” He made sure to use a term to separate himself from the DEA, because he already knew he'd be handing in his resignation papers as soon as he could. There was no way in hell that he'd continue to betray the man he loved or those he'd grown to respect.
“Dragon was cleared of that,” TT pointed out.
Milan laughed and gave him a side-eye. “I know that Dragon is an enforcer for the Lords. And after seeing him in action that day, I'm thinking he did it.”
“And if so, what are you going to do about it?” TT asked.
“Nothing. Just like I have been doing. None of this has been easy for me, Tim. I've had to go against all of my morals, my standards, because of how I feel about you,” Milan said.
TT snorted. “So, I guess you're lowering all of that just to be with me. A scumbag criminal and you're the upstanding police.”
Milan huffed. “That's not what I meant.”
“Oh yeah, it was. You fucking cops like to pretend you're better than the average person. Better than who you call criminals. At least I'm honest about what I am. Do you even realize how many cops want to get on our payroll? How many dirty cops infest every level of law enforcement? You can't go one fucking day without seeing some fucking pig breaking and abusing the law and citizens on some fucking social media app or the news. So, miss me with all that morals and standards bullshit. Why do you think there aren't any songs about 'Fuck the Fire Department'.”
“Well, there is one called '911's a Joke' which kind of takes a jab at all of us.”
TT smacked his lips. “Mainly, it was the police, though. Anyway, you get my point.”
Milan chuckled at the last part because it was true. He didn't know of many songs where the Fire Department was disrespected. “You're right. I can't speak for those officers, only myself. I believed in what I was doing. Believed that I was making the world safer.”
“But you don't believe that anymore?”
“I still do, I just know that's not anything I can do anymore. I can't be a DEA agent and your boyfriend.” Milan rose off the bed then and walked over to TT, slipping his arms around the man'swaist. He kissed TT's pec, then his nipple. “I will be turning in my letter of resignation once I'm out of here.”
“You're giving all of that up for me?” TT asked as he wrapped his arms around his boyfriend.
Milan nodded. “I didn't know how much I needed someone like you in my life until we met. Does it suck that you’re an outlaw and I'm a cop—yes. But my life won't be over if I'm no longer a cop. However, if you weren't in my life... It'd be a life that would leave me longing. I refuse to be unhappy any longer. I refuse to put everyone else's demands before what I need. I need you, Tim.”
TT gazed down into Milan's face and for the first time ever, he realized there was no veil. This was what the man looked like when he was completely exposed and he knew that he was telling the truth. He leaned down, kissing Milan. He wanted to believe him, had to. “What else do they know?” he asked, so he could get all of the details.
