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I nodded, and he scooped me up and carried me effortlessly to the table, where a steaming plate of food awaited. The aroma of garlic and spices enveloped us, momentarily easing my anxiety.
"Thank you, Gunnar," I said. "This looks amazing."
"Are you okay?" Gunnar asked, concern etched on his face. "After the edging, you may experience a drop."
"It's not that. I just… I got a letter from the college. They're only holding my spot in med school for another week. I need to make a decision," I confessed, my heart racing. "I knew it was coming, but I thought I had more time."
Gunnar's face softened, and he reached out to brush a stray tear from my cheek. "Mira, whatever you decide, I'll support you. I just want you to be happy."
"Even if it means I have to leave?" I asked, my voice barely audible.
"Even then," he confirmed, his gaze never leaving mine. "You're going to Portland, not Mars. If you want to, we could still see each other."
"Why is it so intense between us?" I asked. "I feel addicted, even though it's mostly sex."
He smiled. "I think you learn a lot about each other quickly when you've been playing the games we play. You give yourself over to me in a way people in a vanilla relationship never would, you learn to trust me, to feel safe with me much sooner than someone who has just gone on a few dates."
"And you feel like you know me?" I asked, thinking he was right, that I may not have known his favorite color or favorite band, or all the other small talk you usually got on dates, but I knew deeper, more essential things about him.
He kissed my forehead, quiet for a moment. "I see more of you than you think, and by doing scenes with you, I perhaps see sides of you that you've never showed anyone. You're daring and impulsive, if a little anxious. Your mind is as brilliant as it is dirty. It's strange to me that people don't think they can get to know each other well during a sexual relationship. That one scene at the munch taught me more about you than ten awkward conversations at dinner."
"Okay," I said, grinning. "What do I love?"
He rolled his eyes. "Books. Butt stuff. Baked goods."
"The three b's!" I laughed. "And you love motorcycles. Masochism and..."
He held up a forkful of pasta. "Manicotti?"
I giggled. "You're sillier than I would have expected. And sweeter. You take care of me, and watch me with such an intensity, such an attention to detail. I suppose I can see why you're good at engines."
"Anything to make my girls purr," he murmured. "Do you need to talk about the college stuff?"
"I can't think about it right now. I just want to eat, then have you rub my back until I fall asleep."
There was worry in his eyes, but he smiled, nodding.
Gunnar
The first light ofdawn crept through the curtains as I woke, Mira's arm draped over me like a warm, possessive blanket. Her scent filled my nostrils, a tantalizing mix of sweet and spicy that made me want to bury myself inside her all over again. Heated memories from last night came rushing back, making my cock twitch beneath the sheets.
I shifted, trying not to wake her. She was so goddamn perfect for me. But the thought of losing her when she went back to med school gnawed at me. Could we make it work long distance? The idea made my chest tighten, but I couldn't imagine being thekind of person who would hold her back. She had dreams and ambitions that went beyond our little town, and as much as I wanted her to stay here with me, I knew I had to support her.
"Fuck," I muttered under my breath. It hadn't even been a month since she'd burst into town, but somehow it was impossible to imagine my life without her in it. Glancing at the clock, I realized that it was too early for the overwhelming sense of dread that had overtaken me. There was no going back to sleep now. With a sigh, I decided to just hold her close, cherishing the warmth of her body next to mine.
Hoping she might choose to stay.
I needed to tell her about her father, needed to come clean about what I was feeling for her, but how did I do that without swaying her decision? I didn't want to be the man who'd convinced her to give up her dreams. That wasn't what she needed — she needed someone who would stand by her side and encourage her, support her.
The persistent buzzing of my phone snapped me out of my thoughts. I reached for it, careful not to wake her, and glanced at the screen, frowning at the unknown local number that had called multiple times. An emergency? Slipping out from under Mira's arm, I quietly tiptoed out of the room.
I gently closed the door and swiped across the phone screen, answering the call. "Hello?"
"About damn time, Gunnar!" My grandmother's voice scolded from the other end. "Why are you ignoring your phone?"
"It's 4:45 am, Wanda. I had it on silent," I muttered, using the hair tie on my wrist to pull my hair up and out of my face. "Couldn't this have waited until morning?"
"Well, they only give you one phone call when you're in the slammer!"
