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It better be, for she’d accept nothing less than a catastrophe on the scale of the Melbourne City Council shutting down every café in the Docklands as an excuse for what he’d done to her.
He held his hand out and it wavered in a so-so gesture. “Considering I’ve spent the last six years thinking about you, wondering if I did the right thing, wishing there’d been some other way, I don’t think it’s all bad.”
“Let me be the judge of that.”
She sat back and folded her arms, resisting the urge to hug them around her middle for what scant comfort she could get.
His smile faded and crazily, she missed it. He’d rarely been serious when they’d first met, making her laugh every chance he got and it looked like nothing had changed. Ever since he’d waltzed into the café a few hours ago he’d been smiling, which explained why she could barely think straight.
His smile had been her undoing in the past; that, and his boyish charm, his sensitivity, his warmth, his passion…
Gulping a healthy lungful of air, she tried to focus before she did something nuts—like tell him it didn’t matter where he’d been or why as long as he’d come back.
“Go ahead, tell me. Give it to me straight, I’m a big girl, I can take it.”
Regret clouded his eyes as he reached across and held out his hand, silently imploring her to take it. But she couldn’t. Not if she wanted to remain detached long enough to hear him out and put an end to this foolish evening.
“I need you to understand why I left.”
“So you can ease your conscience?”
He withdrew his hand, crossing his arms in a posture mirroring hers, sadness ageing him beyond his twenty-seven years.
“This isn’t about making me feel better.”
“Then what’s it about?”
He pinned her with a direct stare, his eyes steely pewter in the soft candlelight from a corny red heart tea light burning low in the center of the table.
“Us.”
Camryn swallowed the lump of emotion lodged in her throat. How could one, tiny word hold so much pain, so many memories?
Us.
Cam and Blane against the world.
Young, impetuous, with the world at their feet: dreams to follow, places to be. Fun to be had, life to be lived to the fullest, the two of them egging each other on, the exhilarating surge of love a maelstrom that propelled them straight into marriage before they could catch breath.
Whether sharing a quiet cappuccino at the end of a working day or streaking toward the creek to see who’d jump in first, whether hiking to the top of nearby Rainbow Mountain for some private canoodling time or dashing after the first daisy he’d plucked for her as it swirled away on a warm summer’s breeze, it had been the two of them, laughing so hard they could barely breathe, loving so fiercely and vividly and profoundly intensely.
It had been like that right from the very beginning, the impetuous, precipitous, thrilling rush of loving this man. The breathtaking high of being a couple ready to take on the world together, to the lowest of lows as she’d plummeted into the depths of despair when he’d left.
Blinking to stave off the sting of tears, she focussed on a single crumb lying rather pathetically in her lap, all on its lonesome. Just like her.
Great. Now she was comparing herself to cake crumbs. Agreeing to meet him here wasn’t a good idea. She needed to get out of here before she broke down in front of him, showing him exactly how much he still effected her.
He must’ve anticipated her urge to bolt because he rushed on. “Those three months in Rainbow Creek were the best of my life. You were the best thing to ever happen to me.”
Her gaze snapped up to his, harsh and accusatory. “Then why did you leave?”
He had the grace to look aggrieved. “Because we were too young. Because we would’ve changed and grown apart. Because I wondered if you really loved me or were using me as an escape route out of town and a way to rebel against your parents.” His soft sigh of regret tugged at her heartstrings. “But mostly, because you would’ve put your dreams on hold for mine and I couldn’t live with that. You deserved better.”
“What?”
She shook her head, trying to clear it. She could’ve sworn he’d just said he’d left because of her, like he’d been doing her some great favor. Of all the lousy, stupid excuses…
“You left because ofme?”
