Page 88 of Evil Deeds


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I belong to myself now.

I climb inside June Bug and start the engine, closing my eyes and taking in every sensation of her, letting myself become one with her. I’m too strong to cut ties with the world, but I’m unmoored, my tethers to this town severed.

For the first time in three years, the choice is mine.

I pull out of the drive and through the neighborhood, past the Montgomery house, past the Dolce house.

I didn’t choose Royal. I didn’t choose the twins. I didn’t even choose Rylan.

When I reach the gate to the neighborhood, I glance to the right, the direction that would take me on the winding two-lane blacktop road north of town, where another road leads Colt’s house.

Butterflies swarm in my belly.Colt.

Every beat of my heart cries for me to fly to him. But I already chose Colt, and he chose someone else.

If that didn’t break me, I sure as hell won’t break myself.

I spin the wheel to the left, peeling out onto the road. My knee bounces as June Bug eats up the road into town, and then onto the ramp for the highway. A smile begins to tug at my lips—a real smile. I never have to fake a smile again.

Tonight, for the first time, I can do anything I want, choose anyone I want.

I am free.

Free to tear through the walls of my crushed cocoon, leave the twisted pieces of steel and shards of diamond in my wake.

Free to choose the one person I never did—me.

I know that should be enough, that I should streak onto the highway, add ten, and let June Bug fly. But even Thelma had Louise.

Being alone might make you strong, but I’ve had to be strong for too fucking long. If I choose me, if I let myself decide what I want, I don’t want to be alone. I’m tired of fighting for myself, of being the only person who cares. In truth, I’ve always been alone. I want someone to take care of me, to love me, to let me rest.

And I know exactly who that someone is—the only person who’s ever done that, if only for a week.

I turn the wheel, pulling a U-ey in the middle of the road. Another car honks, but traffic is light. I speed back the way I came, my heart beating so frantically I can’t breathe, as if a thousand butterflies have hatched from my heart to fly though my bloodstream.

I press my foot down harder on the pedal, smiling wider, a whoop of joy rising inside me. I’m going to do it. I’m going to tell him.

I owe him that much. After everything that happened between us, he deserves the truth. He deserves to know, even if he can’t remember.

Maybe, if he knew the truth, he wouldn’t choose someone else. Maybe once I tell him, he’ll remember. He’ll know I’m not just a bully and a bitch. That I’m someone worth loving too. And maybe, just maybe, when he finds out he risked everything and chose me before, he’ll choose me again.

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