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“Relax,” the stranger coaxed, planting a playful little kiss on the tip of my nose. “They can’t see anything. They don’t know who we are.”
I wanted to tell him it wasn’t them, but I didn’t say anything. I didn’t trust my voice. I might sob if I tried to speak.
He slid out and forced his way back in, then stilled on top of me. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I said quickly, my heart racing. I wanted to wipe my tears, but I didn’t want to bring attention to them, so I gripped his arms instead, my fingers wrapping around the thick muscles of his biceps. “Keep going.”
“Am I hurting you?” he asked. “You’re so fucking tight, and I know I got you ready. Why are you so tense?”
“Because…” I searched my mind for something to say, something one of my friends back home might have said. “Because you’re so big,” I said at last.
“Virgin, my ass,” he said, chuckling. “Now be a good girl and take all of me.”
He plowed into me, but when I whimpered, he lowered himself onto his elbows and started to kiss me again. His mouth was warm and skillful, and after a minute, I felt myself melting under him. When we stopped moving and started kissing, the guys at the door made some disparaging comments, called him a pussy, and then left, apparently bored with the show.
I wondered who I was with, who I’d let inside my body. I didn’t know the first thing about him—not his coffee order, his favorite beanie, or what shapes he saw in clouds. I didn’t know the color of his shoulders when they burned in the sun, or the flecks in his irises when he looked into my eyes, or the way the wordlovesounded on his tongue.
But I knew what he felt like inside my body, where no one had ever been. I knew he must be older, probably a senior, from the way he knew his way around my body and the things the other girl had said. I told myself I didn’t care, even though I was biting back tears again, this time not from pain. I told myself that it was fine if he was older. Even though he was big, he’d probably hurt me less than Rylan would have, being a virgin like me. And besides, I wouldn’t have many classes with seniors,so we probably wouldn’t cross paths much. I kept telling myself that, and then I pushed all the thoughts away and made myself get lost in his kiss.
The sensation of his lips was comforting and right, like being home, but dominant at the same time, as if he was completely in charge, offering me the freedom to let go. In the darkness, for this moment, I could. I didn’t have to be the perfect girl in perfect makeup who upheld her southern upbringing and was proper at all times. I was already letting a stranger fuck me in the dark. I’d lost any semblance of dignity.
So I let his commanding body take mine, winding spirals of tingling heat through me. The next thing I knew, he was moving his hips again, pumping into me with slow, deep thrusts, gliding in the wetness from my orgasm and blood. I didn’t hear anyone outside anymore. It was just us, the sound of him slicking into me, the sticky suck of him gliding out and back in until he was buried to the hilt, his impossible girth opening my tightness anew with each pass. The sensation was still painful, the stretch stinging my torn flesh, but it also sent thrills of erotic heat rippling over me each time he buried his cock so deep I could feel him pushing my body to its limit, until there was no more for him to claim. He took every bit of me, owned me so deep no one else could ever own me more fully than he was the first time.
There was nothing left for Rylan.
But there was also nothing for the boys outside to take, nothing that he hadn’t plundered first. I took sick pleasure in the pain, in the knowledge that I’d taken this for myself and no one else would ever get it. No one would ever get to take my virginity from me because I took it myself, on my own terms, even if I was using someone else to do it.
“Fuck, you’re so wet,” he whispered, his voice thick with lust. “Can you hear your pussy taking me so good?”
“Yes,” I whispered, my nails biting into his skin as I searched for something more, seeking the bliss he gave me with his tongue.
“Does it hurt?” he asked, pushing in deep. His cock throbbed thick inside me, and I gasped, not sure if he’d just come.
“A little,” I admitted. I knew the first time would hurt, but I had no idea it would feel this good too.
“God, I want to see your face when you take my cock this deep,” he murmured, stroking his thumb over my nipple. “I bet you’re fucking beautiful, no matter what you think.”
I was glad the lights were off, that he didn’t know me, either. He thought I didn’t want him to see me because I was some desperate uggo he’d never touch. He didn’t know the hours I spent in front of the mirror to make sure everyone thought I was flawless the way my mother wanted me to be. He didn’t know my father ruined families, lots of them. That he convinced my boyfriend’s family to invest, and then embezzled their money. He didn’t know I came here to hide in shame, that my family was a national scandal, and the feds had taken everything, leaving us poor as dirt.
He’d never counted the freckles on my nose or heard me make a promise to come back that I couldn’t keep. He didn’t know I’d sobbed out my broken heart into a pillow in the dusty old house next door every night for the past six months. I hoped he thought I was as cool and casual as him, a girl who knew her worth and didn’t care who she slept with because she knew it wasn’t determined by her body count, someone who might be a stranger to him but was no stranger to climbing in bed with random guys at parties.
“You feel so good,” he murmured against my lips, his strong arms on either side of me as he drove into me with steady, powerful thrusts. “I never fuck raw, but since we’re doing this,I’m going to cum so deep inside you that I’m leaking out of you for days.”
“Okay,” I breathed. “I’m ready.”
I’d have agreed to anything at that point. It felt so good I couldn’t think straight. And he was right, we’d already forgotten the condom, it was too late to turn back now. I wanted to do all of it now anyway, so there was nothing left undone. I wanted to feel all of him inside me, his bare skin, his hard cock, his hot cum.
He chuckled. “Don’t be silly. I’m going to go as long as I can. This pussy’s too good to waste with a quickie.”
His muscles flexed as he pushed himself up and slid his arms under my legs, placing my knees over his shoulders. I was glad I’d had years of gymnastics and then cheer to make me flexible, because he had me pinned to the bed, folded in half. It made the stretch sting again, but not as bad as when he first pushed inside. After a minute, I adjusted to the new position. I closed my eyes so I wouldn’t see she shape of him outlined in the scant light from outside. I didn’t want to remember it later, to look for it in the halls at school.
“Fuck, I think I’ve died and gone to heaven,” he moaned, gripping my thighs and grinding into me, his pelvic bone hitting my sensitive clit and making me gasp. “Can you feel how deep I am inside you?”
“So deep,” I managed. I had no idea how he was making coherent sentences. I could barely repeat the two words he just said. My head was spinning, and I thought I was going to scream if he didn’t stop grinding against me like that. He went fast for a minute, slamming into me so hard I couldn’t even choke out a plea for mercy. The sound of his cock pounding into my slick entrance was drowned by the slap of his balls against my ass, his lower abs against mine.
Suddenly, he grabbed me and rolled us over. “Work that tight pussy over my cock while you ride me,” he commanded, hisbreathing quick and heavy. “I felt you cum on my fingers and in my mouth. Now let me feel you drench my cock, my little cum slut.”
My cheeks heated at his words, so crass compared to the innocent promises and sweet professions of love from Rylan. But this guy wasn’t my boyfriend. He was a stranger who probably fucked random girls as easily as he thought I fucked guys. And what we were doing wasn’t making love. It was fucking to get it over with. So I moved my hips, finding the spot he did, the one that brought my clit right against his pelvic bone. Only this time, I was the one in control, and it didn’t take long before I was panting and striving for the same ending he’d given me earlier.
