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I knew I wasn’t normal. I knew I wasn’t what they’d imagined in a mate. I hugged my knees to my chest, shrinking in on myself.
What Eric had said last night hurt so badly. And Dusk had heard, and that was somehow worse, because now he knew what they thought of me, too.
Had my mates changed?
Maybe they’d been dreaming of love for so long it had made them sad.
Only, now they might discover it’s you they get…
Could I have imagined it? Was I as crazy as I knew Dusk thought I was, defending Eric, still?
But I’d come this far on that belief.
If they had changed… if they would never love me truly, was that enough to give it up? When the alternatives were so much worse…?
“Do you ever get scared of…” I trailed off, not even able to imagine asking that of mop-Roxy. Even if she was the first omega friend I’d ever had—she wasn’t scared of dark bonds.
She wasn’t gold pack, and it was illegal to dark bond her.
Still… If Ididask, what would she say?
But I’d betrayed Roxy twice over. One for making friends with her in the first place when I was after her pack, and two… “Oh…”
Fuck.
I hadn’tseenher yesterday. Not really. It was mostly Eric, and I’d been about to leave. Would she hate me if she found out?
But I’d never had another omega to talk to.
“I’m so afraid of a dark bond. It’s been worse since I ran away.” It felt good, saying it out loud, even if Roxy wasn’t really here. “I lost everything,” I whispered. My whole life before I was 19. I’d just woken up, and I was… no one. “Iwent to live with Uncle and Aunty Lauren, and I just had to figure it out.” I paused, lip trembling as I tried to get it together.
It was hard, but Ineededto say it to someone.
UMBRA
Shatter wasn’t in class. I’d logged onto Dusk’s tracking app (mainly because I’d be really sad if he couldn’t fuck her again) and discovered she’d never left the building.
Oh, thank God.
Those two were going to be the death of me.
I found her on the top floor, which seemed to mostly consist of old study rooms. I stopped before a doorway, listening, and, to my delight, I heard her talking to herself within. I presumed, anyway, since no one ever spoke back, but she left extended pauses as if coming up with imaginary answers in her head.
I stood for a while, listening in while she conducted herself in her own Omega Studies class with a fake Roxy—or so I guessed.
Eventually, I settled down, happy to sit on the hardwood and listen to what was probably a much more interesting class than real Omega Studies—whatever crap they taught in that. Sometimes she would whisper quiet enough that I couldn’t hear, but then she began to talk about dark bonds, and I was left frozen.
“…And if I get dark bonded, then that’s it,” she was saying. “I just have this little sandwich of years where I got to be me before it’s taken again. And I haven’t had enough time to figure out who I am. Or what I like, or who I’d be if I got the chance.”
I frowned, heart breaking at the sadness in her voice as she paused. She didn’t need to worry. I knew Dusk had taken that picture of her, but hewouldn’tdark bond her.
He’d told her that. I hadn’t realised how much that fear plagued her.
A part of me just wanted to make her see how worthless her mates truly were, but there was more to it than that. Shatter was trapped. Even if I didn’t really understand why, I knew it. Getting free of that, it wasn’t as simple as logic.
A flash of my past lit in my mind.
“Why don’t you just stop?”
